Daily Goddess

Tuesday - The Day of "Karma"

2011-02-16T06:31:00.000-08:00

Excerpted from Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents pg 81

"Tuesday is the day of "Karma"

Today we tell our children "When you make a choice, you change the future."

On Tuesday we agree as parents to do the following things with our children:

1. Talk about some choice they made today
2. Show them how our future was changed by a past choice we made
3. Explain right and wrong in terms of how choices feel."

Hmmm. I was frustrated by today and I think that I know the reason why. When I read this this morning, I read "decisions" - when you make decisions you change the future. And what I was faced with all day is the frustration of relying on other people to make decisions that were out of my control. And I talked to Finn about how my future was changed by a past decision I made - and I equated moving back to the states with the arrival of Finn - the possibility of Family. But of course, since that decision brought up all these memories of extreme challenges that we faced - it was a bittersweet discussion.

If I were to flip my day and think in terms of choice instead of decision, I could see I made a choice to interact with a breakdown at work with grace and compassion instead of anger, I could see that I made a choice to make it a teaching opportunity instead of one of discipline. I would have told Finny that when his Dad and I made the decision to become allies instead of adversaries - regardless of our circumstances - that there was no mistake that there was suddenly room to make our family bigger. And instead of being frustrated about my day yesterday, I could have made the choice to take ownership of my feelings and been fully self-expressed and clear in my expectations.

And honestly - until I re-read this this morning to write this post I wouldn't have made a huge distinction between decision and choice.

Choose love, choose life, choose to get in the game.

Love to you,
Patty

Monday - The Day of Giving & Valentine's Day...Perfect

2011-02-14T05:38:00.000-08:00

Excerpted from The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents Pg 69

" Monday is the Day of Giving

Today we tell our children, "If you want to get something, give it."

On Monday we agree as parents to do the following things with our children:

1. Invite them to give one thing to someone else in the family
2. Inspire them to receive graciously
3. Share a brief ritual of gratitude for life's gifts"

So at 16 months old, Finn is a pretty good sharer...kisses, food, books, colds ;) although Aunt Mary really likes that "one more kiss" that makes him cranky. And I tried before we went to bed to do a little ritual of gratitude with him which was really me saying that I was super grateful for him. But I wasn't inspired with a blog post story, I didn't feel like I had anything to share...

Then this morning I woke up at 6 and Finn wasn't awake yet so I contemplated another 30, 40 minutes of sleep or getting up and getting a move on the day. I thought about the Daily Goddess and wondered what I would share and then I remembered dinner. This is the first Valentine's Day I have spent with my family since high school and when I got around the table everyone had written cards and my dad had gotten us all a box of candy and I didn't do anything. My Valentine is in Costa Rica - I figured I had the day off!! I was feeling a little guilty, so I don't know if I inspired to recieve graciously but in thinking about this law this morning I really connected to the power of the little things. The smile, the acknowledgement, an email, a hug. None of these things cost money (which I have been focused on for the past 2 years plus) but they can and do absolutely have the power to transform a person's day, life.

It did make me think that it's time I played bigger, that it's time I stopped feeling self conscious and I just got out there and started playing the game. And Deepak Chopra is right - it's not about the time you spend on a particular activity - because at the end of the day yesterday I truly felt like I had failed at Monday, failed at Giving. It's about paying attention.

Love to you.
Patty

2011-02-13T19:23:00.000-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

It's been a very long time since my last post. I sort of felt like if I was stuck and couldn't really get myself out of this difficult time that I was going through, how could I possibly be a "voice" of the Goddess. How could I possibly provide guidance and support for people. I was acutely aware of the people who might be reading and I simply got self-conscious.

Over the years, the times that I felt the most powerful were times when I was connected to people, to my various communities and especially to spirit and it's been a long time since I've felt that connection - and this blog was a way that I connected - a chance to get out of my own way to share with the world and so it is time that I get over myself and start sharing again...and honestly, noone has to read it.

I took out a bunch of books from the library a few weeks ago in an effort to get some support about discipline. My little boy Finn is now 16 months old and just a vibrant life force and I so do not want to dim that source, but I also want to make sure that I set boundaries, so I wanted some help. One of the books I grabbed was Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents and I felt that old tingle of inspiration. I'm only a couple of pages in and he's described what the seven law are - and how they translate into in kid's speak and he broke them up in days of the week truly begin to practice these laws. It's not about the time that you spend on each of the tasks (he gives three per day) it's simply about paying attention. And perfectly - today is Sunday which was when he started his week and I'd like to share with you...

Excerpted from Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws for Parents, page 55:

"Sunday (Law One) The Day of Pure Potentiality

Today we tell our children "Everything is possible, no matter what."

One Sunday we agree as parents to do the following with our children:

1. Lead them in a few minutes of silent meditation
2. Inspire them to appreciate the beauty and wonder of Nature
3. Show them the hidden possibilities in familiar situations"

So after reading this, I packed up my little boy in his winter jacket and hat and mittens and we headed outside so I could "inspire him to appreciate the beauty and wonder of nature." Once we got outside I was stuck. What was I going to talk about? So of course we are surrounded by snow, so I told him about individual snowflakes and how they are all different but join together to make all of these snow drifts and when the sun comes and melts some snow it can become ice (which was what we were walking on). Then all of a sudden Finn starts going crazy mooing. (His first words beside hi and bye were not Mom or Dad but MOO. We were approaching this big wooden bear, so I figured he thought it was a cow, but then I looked where he was looking and saw the moon in the sky! He was going crazy for the moon! And suddenly, I am completely inspired over the beauty and wonder not only of nature but of my amazing son.

So - I will keep sharing these laws and my days of paying attention and look forward to reconnecting to my spirit and the world outside of my head.

Blessings,
Patty

Choose Peace

2009-03-26T13:06:00.000-07:00

Dearest Ladies,

I think genetically my worry bone kicks into high gear during stressful times and in asking for some guidance/direction last night from Living With Joy by Sanaya Roman – I came across the following that I wanted to share with you. Choose peace ladies.

Love to you,

Patty

“Inner peace means releasing attachments to anything – to having a person act the way you want or to having the world work the way you expect. When you let go of those attachments, you will find your life working even better than you could have expected or planned. It does not mean giving up control of your life; it means coming from your own center of peace at all times.
Right now, make the decision that you can bring inner peace into your life. Make the decision that you´re going to open your heart even more, be more compassionate, more understanding, more loving, and more forgiving of everyone you know. Form a picture in your mind of yourself going through the next week, and see yourself coming from totally new level of peace. See the smile on your face and the joy in your heart.

Take one thing in your life that you would like to feel peace about, something that possibly you have been reacting to, and make a mental image of releasing, forgiving and letting go, finding inner peace with this issue. Ony you can create inner peace. From that space you will see the world you experience reflecting it. Other people, events, and situations do not need to trigger a reaction in you. If, instead, you maintain this center of peace, you will change those events that used to disturb and upset you. If they do not change, it will no longer intrude on your sense of well-being. You can find your center, your soul´s light and your inner being reflected and carried out in the world you experience."

Spiritual Constipation

2009-03-19T14:36:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I apologize in advance for the metaphor, but I just couldn´t resist.

Being pregnant, I have been experiencing some issues with elimination – nuff said. So as I was feeling a little uncomfortable, I couldn´t help but relate that physical feeling to the emotional feelings that I´ve been having and I felt like it was more than physical - I was spiritually, creatively, emotionally constipated, stopped up, clogged, blocked.

The key is movement. That is certainly what we hope for when the issue is physical and I think it´s also the key when it goes beyond the physical. Movement. Physical movement, energy movement…Taking those baby steps.

SO – what is the solution? What is your spiritual, creative, emotional equivalent to eating lots of fiber and drinking lots of water? Remember, the key to feeling refreshed is movement – that´s the goal. What are you going to have to do / what are you going to have to give up in order to get things moving?

Fiberous food for thought.

Love to you,

Patty

Lost: Funny Bone – Reward Offered

2009-03-16T14:56:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Over a year ago, I randomly made a list of the Goddess Oracle which is how I am presenting them. I am shocked at how they constantly seem to be showing up in my life. Uzume – this week´s goddess represents laughter. This weekend I turned to John and said that I felt like I had lost my funny bone. And then with the most intense sadness, I broke down and tried to recall the last time I had let myself go and just have a good time – to that core of fun. I was reminded of my lost funny bone when I was watching this commercial with all of these kids just playing in a pool – splashing. When did I stop laughing? When did I start taking myself so seriously? When did things stop being fun?

If you´re feeling like me – check out Uzume´s ritual – and take it on as a creative project. Write out the "story" of your life right now and then watch it play out like it was on a stage. (Extra points if you really do act it out – like a monologue). And then what if Will Farrell or Adam Sandler were the stars of your story?

And write a list of things that make you laugh – things that are fun. Or write out times when you remember letting yourself go and having a great time. And then recreate it. Start adding in some fun. FIND YOUR FUNNY BONE!

I know I am desperate to find mine!

Love to you,

Patty

Uzume - Laughter

2009-03-16T13:37:00.001-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

Before the Rock Cave of Heaven

where Amaterasu Omi Kami, the Sun Goddess

had hidden her radiant face

where all the assembled Gods and Goddesses had tried

and failed

to lure her out

I stepped up to the Cave

with utmost seriousness

with grave determination

with proper decorum and a lofty mien

and with a bump and a bump and a bump bump bump bump

lifted my kimono and revealed myself in ways

that caused the mouths of the exalted ones

to water and fall open

Then I played puppet with my labia

and paid myself a little lip service

I heaved my breast over one shoulder

then the other over the other

and landed on my ass

with a bump and a bump and a bump bump bump bump

amidst the explosions of laughter and merriment

of the esteemed crowd

With breasts tied in a knot

my legs spread like a welcome mat

I called in the Spirits

and offered them my body

but they refused to take it

The crowd howled and laughed as I continued my dance

till Amaterasu Omi Kami couldn´t stand it any longer

and rushed out to see what was what

And thus did laughter

win the Sun Goddess from her dark cave

and bring light and warmth back into the world.

Mythology

Uzume (pronounced oo-zoo-may), ancient Japan´s shaman-Goddess, is credited as being the one to entice the Sun Goddess, Amaterasu Omi Kami, out of the cave where she had hidden. Uzume did a bawdy dance making fun of shamanic ritual. She exposed her breasts, she played with her genitals, amidst the howls of laughter of the deities assembled. So loud and enticing was the uproar she created, that Amaterasu´s curiosity got the better of her and she came out from her cave.

Meaning of the Card

Uzume begins her comic dance in your life to tell you it is time to nurture wholeness with laughter. Laughter causes us to relax, enables us to gain perspective, helps ease us through difficulties. Have you been taking life too seriously? When is the last time you had a good laugh? Are you able to laugh at yourself in a gentle way? Perhaps life is challenging you with such ferocity that you find it hard to see the humor in your present situation. Uzume says that wholeness is gained when you choose to laugh and see the humor in all of life´s challenges.

Ritual Suggestion: Journey to Uzume

Click the link below to download the meditation for Uzume for $1.50

http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=67

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it with a "ha, ha, ha". Take another deep breath and lift your shoulders up and down three times as you exhale. Take another deep breath and release it with a "ha, ha, ha" while moving your shoulders up and down as if you were having a good laugh. Take another deep breath and, as you exhale, see, sense or feel the Rock Cave of Heaven. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, see yourself standing in front of the cave. Enter the cave. It is warm and pleasant. A small dancing sun appears before you to light your way through the darkness of the cave. You follow the dancing sun, enjoying its playfulness, becoming more relaxed, more at ease. The sun leads you to the light at the end of the cave where you step out into the Underworld. There you are met by Uzume who warmly walcomes you with a big smile. She takes you by the hand and leads you to a stage area with some cushions in front of it.

She sits on the cushions and gestures for you to do the same. She asks you what you need. You tell her you need help seeing the humor, the comedy, in a particular situation in your life. She agrees to help you. As you give her the details, the entire situation is played out before you on the stage. Once you have finished, she claps her hands twice and the entire scene is replayed as a comedy, complete with clowns and your favorite comic actors. It is very funny and you find yourself laughing and feeling light and carefree. When the scene is finished, Uzume claps and the scene vanishes. You thank Uzume and she asks you for a gift, which you give to her with an open heart. She escorts you back to the cave entrance where you are met by the dancing sun. You and the sun dance your way back through the cave, feeling energized, refreshed, revitalized and as light as air. At the cave entrance you take a deep breath and come back to your body. Take another deep breath and, when ready, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Open to Receive

2009-03-12T12:27:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I sure am glad that Kuan Yin is our goddess this week to remind us to have compassion for ourselves and others. I had this awful dream last night that I had my baby but then forgot about it – didn´t feed it or anything and when I finally realized that it had been sitting there silent and hungry and dirty for like 2 days, I rushed to feed it – horrified more at what a lousy mom I was – not that this poor child was hungry. So Kuan Yin reminded me to show myself compassion and fear will manifest in many ways!

I went to one of my favorite books today – Living with Joy by Sanaya Romin for inspiration. I asked Orin for some guidance and for a message that perhaps my goddesses needed to hear and this is what came to me. I hope you enjoy…

This excerpt is taken directly from Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman, Chapter 10 – Opening to Receive.

"Imagine, if you will, that you are a king, and your treasury is fill. In fact, you have so much you do not know where to begin distributing the wealth. All of the people in your kingdom are walking around saying how poor they are, but when you offer them your money they act as if they do not see you, or they wonder what is wrong with what you are offering.

I look out and see the storehouses all over – untapped, unused and even unrecognized. You have hard the expression "Heaven on Earth." There is nothing that stops you from having it, except your ability to ask for and receive it. What are these storehouses? What things lie within them that we would love to pass out?

One is love. We do not measure growth as you do (career advancements, more money, etc.). We look to spiritual evolution, which includes joy, self-love, the ability to receive, reframing the negative into the positive, the refinement of the ego, a willingness to embrace the new, and the ability to work together for a common purpose.

There is so much love available it is as abundant as the air you breathe.

Do you ask for love? The more you give and receive love the greater your spiritual growth. Every moment you spend focused on something that is not working, thinking of someone who does not love you, makes you like the men who turn away from the King´s money. You always have the opportunity to think of times you were loved, imagine a future of abundance, and thus partake of spiritual wealth.

What do you think of? Every in-breath takes you up to the world of essence where form is created, and on the out-breath you send to the world your wishes. Every time you recognize the love you have, you increase it. One of the laws of receiving is that recognizing when you have gotten something increases it in your life, and every time you do not acknowledge something you make it so much harder to have more sent to you.

The more you focus on what is wrong, the more wrong you will create in your life; the more it will spread to other areas that WERE working. The more you concentrate on what is right in your life, what is working, the more other areas of your life will work. It is the same in receiving. The more you acknowledge how much you are receiving, the more you will have."

Open to receive ladies – you deserve all that life has to offer.

Love to you,
Patty

Fighting Against What Is

2009-03-09T08:02:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Talk about standing in your own way and giving yourself permission to be successful. I´ve been feeling a bit displaced here in Atlanta. While I didn´t have a TON of friends in Costa Rica, I was VERY lucky to connect with a few awesome likeminded people that I loved being with. I haven´t really had that opportunity / given myself that chance here in Atlanta and I find myself comparing every experience to the past. While I worked with some very wonderful ladies, I didn´t develop close relationships with them where I would want to hang out beyond work and I wasn´t really meeting anyone outside of work – other than the occasional person introduced to me by John. I couldn´t help but CRAVE (desperately) what feels like a once in a lifetime connection that I felt for the people I worked with at Legacy. (Ladies – can we please get together somewhere in the world and start a new school?!!) And of course wanting to get back to New York to be with my world back there. BUT – simply a change in location is not going to be what I need exactly to fulfill me. That´s got to come from within. And trying to recreate past experiences is just a disaster of unfulfillable expectations that I´d rather not experience.

So, in the spirit of Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young and the song Love The One You´re With, I have decided to start loving Atlanta – and since I know that Atlanta is loveable, it´s up to me. Just as I´ve been focusing lately on reasons why it might not be the place for me long term, I can instead, choose to love it. I can´t help but be reminded of the three lessons that the Brigadier General had for me that day.

Give yourself permission
Adapt for success (it hasn´t looked the way I wanted it to look and I haven´t found my Legacy or WE with powerful, creative women)
Fail Forward – get out there, talk to people instead of waiting for new friends to coming knocking on my door.

Now, I have a VERY EXCITING announcement to make. My gloriously gifted, talented, creative, inspirational friend Rowena Murillo has FINALLY opened her Etsy shop and is selling her AMAZING art series called Flying Girl. You will be floored at how connected you are to just about every one of her paintings. And FINALLY she is allowing us to purchase them from her! I was lucky enough to order some prints for some loved ones for Christmas and was so impressed with the quality of the prints. They were simply fantastic. Go visit her new shop and pick out some gifts for your friends and family – you will NOT be disappointed. Besides the fact that they are TOTALLY UNDERPRICED at only $18 a print right now. I´m so excited that her work can finally be shared with the world! And I noticed that a lot of the prints available on etsy are new ones I haven´t seen before – so be sure to check out her blog for more of Flying Girl…www.warriorgirl.blogspot.com.

http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=6493421

Challenge: Where are you holding on to how you think things should look? Where are you killing off present happiness by comparing your experiences to the past? Where can you give yourself permission to succeed in the here and now and allow yourself to adapt instead of fighting against what is?

Love to you,
Patty

Kuan Yin - Compassion

2009-03-09T07:48:00.001-07:00

I made the vow

and kept my word

I reached enlightenment

but rather than pass over

to the state of eternal bliss

I retained human form

till all beings attain enlightenment

Keeping human form

enabled me to know more deeply

the pain others experience

Because of my deep feelings

because of my understanding

of misery and suffering

because of my decision

I am called The Compassionate One

She Whose Name Alleviates All Suffering

But wouldn´t you prefer to wait

feeling what others feel

suffering what others suffer

knowing their pain as your own

wait till the end of all suffering and pain

till all beings attain enlightenment?

For me there was no other choice.

Mythology

Kuan Yin (pronounced koo-wan'yin), or "she who hears the weeping world" is the Chinese Buddhist bodhisattva of Compassion. She lives on her island paradise of P'u T'o Shan where she is said to grant every prayer she hears. She is so powerful that even the mention of her name will ease suffering and hardship. Choosing to remain in this world after having attained enlightenment, Kuan Yin has vowed to retain human form until all beings attain enlightenment. In Japan she is known a Kwannon.

Meaning of the Card

Kuan Yin appears mercifully in your life to tell you it is time to nurture wholeness with compassion – compassion for others, compassion for your loved ones, compassion for yourself. Do you find yourself feeling irritated or apathetic to the suffering of others? What keeps you from your compassion= Do you allow yourself space and ease when you are less than your idea of perfect? Do you find yourself wanting to hurt others because you have been hurt? Do you fear opening your heart to the plight of others because it will hurt you? Compassion is the ability to listen deeply and allow others and yourself the space to go through what needs to be gone through and to feel what needs to be felt. Kuan Yin says the way to alleviate your suffering is to develop compassion for yourself. From that compassionate placed within, you can manifest compassion without.

Ritual Suggestion: Journey to Kuan Yin

Click the link below to download the meditation for Kuan Yin for $2.25

http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=50

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Then take another breath, breathing deeply into your heart, and release it slowly while feeling your heart expand. Take a deep breath and release it with a sigh from your heart. See, sense or feel yourself inside your heart. Hear your heartbeat pulsing around you. Inside your heart is a rainbow bridge. You step onto the rainbow bridge and begin to cross the great waters. As you travel the bridge, you become more and more relaxed. The great waters are serene and calming, the bridge itself is a delight to walk on, the air is refreshing and pleasant.

On the other side of the rainbow bridge lies Kuan Yin´s island paradise of P'u T'o Shan. She greets you as you arrive and hands you a beautiful flower. As you inhale the flower´s fragrance, you feel your heart open. She takes you by the hand and leads you through the rich, lush, fragrant vegetation to her pavilion. After seating you with care and consideration, she washes your feet then serves you what you need to be served. She asks you to tell her your troubles and you do. She listens deeply and attentively. You feel nourished and loved at the very core of your being. You feel completely and utterly heard, seen, listened to It feels wonderful and deeply healing. You feel lighter and more at ease with yourself. Sit with Kuan Yin until you are ready to return. She takes you back to the rainbow bridge and embraces you. You thank her and begin your way across the bridge, feeling recharged and revitalized. The trip back across the rainbow bridge is short and you arrive back in your heart. Take a deep breath and, as you release it, you come back into your body. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Caring for the Shepherds

2009-03-05T12:03:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

One of the other major things I took from the Brigadier General´s presentation was this story she told about reconnecting with one of her classmates from West Point a few years ago. They were exchanging emails and this woman had told her that there were three things that she focused on during her four years at West Point that allowed her to get through that difficult time. Survival, Survival, Survival. Reflecting upon her classmate´s words, she thought of Maslow´s hierarchy of needs (I included a copy from Wikipedia below). That when you are focused on your physiological and safety needs – essentially your survival, there is no way to step into the higher levels of thought to truly make a difference for yourself, an organization or even the world. You don´t get to the love/belonging level or achieve confidence in esteem or self-actualization.

I know that I have been stuck in that cycle of focusing on that worry, the "what ifs", the "what are we going to do ifs", etc. And all it´s really done is keep me present in the idea of scarcity and of not enough. This cycle of fear is very powerful and one that I think the whole world is experiencing right now which ultimately does not serve the greater good.

And related to this idea, for those of you who might be like me in a sort of "what is my purpose" state – the second speaker at this event I went to was full of energy – Lily Winsaft – and she described this time in her life when she was searching and searching for her purpose and after months of actively searching, she woke up in a cold sweat with the possibility that maybe, just maybe she didn´t have a purpose and then what has all this searching been for?! And after the shock of that idea washed over her, she felt a sort of freedom – that if there wasn´t some divine purpose set out for her, well then why couldn´t she simply take matters into her own hands and make one up! And so she decided that her purpose would be to inspire others to see the greatness in themselves.

Jack Canfield has an exercise to get to our own inner purpose or mission statement. List three times in your life that you had the greatest experience of joy. What did you experience at that time? (freedom, love, compassion, passion…) And to take note that our emotions are a good gauge for when we are on track – if we have goosebumps or are feeling passionate, etc. we are generally on course. If we´re bored or resentful, we´re off course. And that out of this, you can come up with your own mission statement or own purpose for your life. In working with a heart surgeon and going through this exercise with him, he listed his three times in his life when he experienced freedom and they were all in his personal life (playing with his grandchildren, etc.) Jack asked him if there were any times that he felt that at work, and he listed two times – once when he operated on a man who couldn´t afford to pay him (but was reproached by his partners) and when his skills allowed him to save someone. Both of these people would most certainly be dead without him. Other than that, he felt a lot of pressure – that there would always be a need for his services, but he couldn´t possibly help everyone. Jack asked him a question – If you were faced with a patient who would die if you did not operate on him, but that you would die if you did what would you choose? He said, of course, I would not operate on him. Well, you need to get that sometimes by not doing, you end up taking care of yourself and allowing yourself to be fully present to more people than if you simply gave and gave and gave. And what he came up with as a mission/purpose was "to bring joy, compassion, happiness and freedom to people in the world and experience it myself in the process."

And remember…"sometimes the shepherds need caring for too." Another gift of insight from the Brigadier General.

Love to you my shepherds.

Patty

Onward The Journey

2009-03-04T08:28:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I´ve been hiding – camped out in my hermit crab shell. And after some loving prodding from my external GPS (thank you, thank you, thank you) I am emerging. Onward the Journey.

So, a brief update to my ladies – I´m 11 weeks pregnant which is very exciting and nerve-racking and scary and… I was also laid off – and while I am grateful that I am no longer working where I was working, it´s never good to the self-esteem to be on the receiving end of a pink slip or have to start from scratch on the job search. But…onward the journey.

I suppose I´ve also been confronted by the next Goddess in the series – The Erinyes which represent Crisis. Jeez, I didn´t need any more crisis on my hands and I certainly didn´t want to create any crises for any of you! But I don´t think I'm that powerful. Truth is, crisis will show up when it shows up how it shows up – why not have the tools to deal with it. I suppose since I made the decision to be confronted with The Erinyes, I have been going through my own crisis of sorts – a redefinition of who I am in light of the changes in my world these days. Sometimes I feel so far away from that Patty who was facilitating creativity groups, teaching and learning and being creative. And I suppose there are some aspects of that Patty that I don´t miss – but I´m looking to reclaim that creative spirit and that passion. I feel like it´s been a long time since I´ve allowed myself to be passionate. Which leads me to what I want to share today.

Last week I had the distinct privilege to be invited to a group put on by Atlanta Woman Magazine called "Empowering Yourself". It really was perfect. The keynote speaker was Brigadier General Anne F. Macdonald who was a part of the first class of women to graduate from West Point in 1980. She shared her experience, which she called the most difficult period of her life, but how going through that experience really paved the way to the incredible leader that she is today. (She didn´t underestimate the power of hindsight in her ability to make these realizations. At the moment of her graduation, she walked out of there ready to never look back.)

She described that time of her life as her spiritual desert, but wanted to emphasize three points of leadership that the experience taught her:

It is up to you to give yourself permission to succeed. No one else will grant you that permission and you may encounter people who do not always have your best interest at heart, not to mention the fact that the biggest obstacle that you will probably face on your journey to success is your own self standing in your way. GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION.
Allow yourself to adapt in order to achieve success. The world may not look exactly how you´d like it to look, so it is up to you to adapt in order to succeed. She said that when she got to West Point the circumstances were NOT set up to ensure her success. It´s not always going to look the way you want it to look.
Fail Forward. There will be failures in your attempts at success. If you learn from those mistakes, you make sure that you fail forward and not backward.

She shared so much more that I will share with you in the next few posts.

Thanks for listening, it really feels good to be sharing again!

Love to you,

Patty

The Erinyes - Crisis

2009-03-04T08:11:00.001-08:00

We snap you

crack you

flapjack you

We are that wild chaotic place

that sharp edge

the point that activates your fears

the point of no return

the point where anything can happen

We always demand your death

or complete surrender

you can´t get beyond us

around us

or over us

you must meet us and go through us

We are the cosmic steamroller

the place of greatest opportunity

We are crisis.

Mythology

The Erinyes (pronounced eh-rin'yees) were the forces of retribution personified as three immortal dark maiden Goddesses. They took revenge and punished anyone who killed their kin in matriarchal pre-Hellenic Greece. In poet Aeschylus´s play, The Oresteia, Orestes – the son of Clytemnestra and Agamemnon – kills his mother, thus enraging the Erinyes who go after him. When his trial results in a deadlock, Athene, Goddess of Wisdom, is called on to cast the deciding vote. Her vote sets Orestes free from ay punishment for the matricide. The Erinyes, unappeased, demand vengeance. Athene consoles them with promises of special rituals in their honor. They are then renamed the Eumenides, or kindly ones.

Meaning of the Card

The Erinyes are howling after you because you and/or a loved one are in crisis. The way to nurture wholeness for you now lies in reaching out and asking for help. Whether it is from the human, animal, or spiritual kingdoms, help is required at this juncture of excess, psyche-breaking stress, and instability. Identify and name the kind of crisis you are in. If your crisis is psychological, call a crisis hot line or make an appointment with a healer of psyches. If your crisis is financial or job-related, seek financial assistance or find a career counselor. If it involves your health, visit a health-care practitioner. It is vital for you to get the help and support you need, for you are not in a place where you can help yourself. Do something. Or ask a friend or loved one to do it for you. Crisis in your life also brings the experience of crisis into the lives of your loved ones. Don't blame yourself or try to take care of them. Be selfish. Deal with your crisis and let them deal with theirs. The Erinyes say all crisis are accelerated growth/transformation points that bring opportunities. However, before you get to the opportunity, you must get through the crisis, and for that you must reach out for help.

Ritual Suggestion: The Cocoon

Click the link below to download the meditation for The Erinyes for $.75

http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=40

The time to do this is now, wherever you are. No time to look for perfect conditions. Use this ritual suggestion to give yourself some breathing space while dancing with your crisis. There is no limit to the number of times you can do the Cocoon.

You can sit or stand anywhere. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it gently. Sense, feel, or see a cocoon being built around you of the most nurturing and comforting materials. Do you like silk or cotton flannel? Does lambswool or a blanket of your favorite flowers soothe you? It could even be a cocoon of rosy pink light or your favorite soothing sounds. Once you have wrapped that cocoon around you, fill it with the love of those who care about you. You can also include animals, plants, stones, the Goddess, trees, the sky, the universe.

Once your cocoon is filled, allow yourself to take the love and comfort of your cocoon into every cell in your body. Feel yourself handing over to the Goddess the challenge that overwhelms you. Feel the comforting sensation as she takes the challenge from you. Keep breathing in the comfort of your cocoon until you feel full. When ready, take a deep breath and exhale gently, open your eyes, and come ot of the cocoon. Or you may prefer to stay in while you go about your tasks in the world. Remember if you leave it, you can always come right back by taking a deep breath and sensing, feeling or seeing your cocoon around you.

Here Comes The Sun

2009-01-28T17:15:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I woke up a little blue this morning – no particular reason. It might have to do with not being able to remember the last time I saw the sun! But as I was sitting in the car waiting for John to get our morning decaf´s, I looked up at the sky. What I saw at first was the grey-black clouds, but when I looked closer, those clouds were moving real fast and peeking out from behind was this beautiful blue sky with peppered white clouds. I thought of flying on an airplane and a lot of times, even if you take off in a crummy storm, you get high enough to where the sun is shining and you are flying through puffy, white clouds.

That view – that sunny, blue sky is the backdrop. The clouds and storm systems are just passing through, making its way. You´ll always have the good days and the bad days – the sunny and the not so sunny – but if the sunny days are truly the backdrop – then the other is just a storm doing its business. And living in Atlanta now and knowing that the one thing that would probably fill Lake Lanier is a hurricane – there is a definite time and a place for storms in our life. Rain helps things grow.

So take the storms and ride them, for they are just passing through and be confident that your backdrop is sunny blue skies with fluffy white clouds. It´s true! I witnessed it today! (Now I also witnessed the Easter Bunny when I was a kid too, but I think that was just our goddess Nut playing in mystery…!)

Find your blue skies ladies!

Love to you,

Patty

GPS Continued

2009-01-27T04:03:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I wanted to share two responses I got from yesterday´s Daily Goddess…(by the way, why doesn´t spell check work in the title? Sorry for yesterday´s Dialy Goddess…)

From Susan:

Patty, I love this idea of a life gps. I think we have one -- built right in -- we just don't turn it on! or tune it in...it's that inner voice don't' you think? Often drowned out by the static of life when we are not moving mindfully...so, slowing down, quieting down and tuning in and you have your own personal internal Janie!

From Rowena:

Ahem.

I believe you are not aware of the Welsh version of my name. It is in fact Gps, but people don't seem to understand the no vowels thing, and rowena sounds better.

Now, knock it off and go join one of those online creative groups I've been sending you.

Silly mama.

That's what G calls me anytime I don't listen to him.

It´s absolutely perfect, because of course there is that inner GPS and sometimes when you´re blind and deaf to the directions that it gives, the people in your life step in and help direct you. I feel like it´s been a looooooonnnng time since I was silent enough to be able to hear the directions. I´ve been too busy listening to worry and doubt and my own judgment. Moving mindfully, slowing down, taking purposeful steps. Or enroll a person in your life to be more overt until you actually slow down.

I´m up for the challenge. To slow down and stop listening to the chatter and to truly connect to Nut and the mysteries she has for us and also to the people in my life who I hope will keep nagging me!

Have a quiet day goddesses!

Love to you,

Patty

Life GPS

2009-01-25T16:16:00.001-08:00

A couple of months ago, John and I were gifted a GPS and it has changed our lives. Suddenly we don´t need pages and pages of mapquest printouts in order to get somewhere and that is priceless in a new city – especially one where you can be at the corner of Peachtree and Peachtree at any given time. It´s changed our experience and freedom in the car, not to mention the improvement of our relationship – getting lost is just one less thing we have to fight about!

I can´t help but crave a GPS for my life though. Janie, which we have affectionately named our GPS tells us our next move – keeping our final destination in mind and when we aren´t paying attention, or we make an "unscheduled" stop, or whatever – she simply recalculates and non-judgmentally lets us know our next move, even if that move is "turn around when possible". I want to plug in my goals and dreams and have a gentle reminder to get me back on track when I get distracted or am not acting in line with what I am committed to. Simple reminders to exercise, eat right, create, write my goddess emails.

If I were a bit more disciplined I would say I would do it myself – create some habits so that I can plan and assess each day. What´s an undisciplined girl without a life GPS to do? ;) Knock it off, I suppose and just do it.

But then, the Goddess speaks. I wrote this before I looked up which goddess from The Goddess Oracle would speak this week – and funny how Nut comes go guide us to embrace the mystery of life. Please read her and open to the mystery, while keeping your goals in mind.

Nut - Mystery

2009-01-25T16:08:00.001-08:00

Reach for me

touch me

I am always beyond your grasp

Don´t try to figure me out

for you can´t

I am the ever present unfathomable unknown

I am the immensity of the star-filled sky

I am beyond human comprehension

In the vastness of my being

I am a mystery

even to myself.

Mythology

Nut (pronounced not) is the Egyptian Goddess of the night sky, also known as the Great Deep, the Celestial Vault, who daily gives birth to the sun each morning then consumes it again each night. Disapproving of the nicest of Nut as she lay over her brother Geb, the earth, Ra, the sun or high God, has them pried apart. Nut was then lifted into the sky where she remains, her body formed into an arch. Painted inside the inner lid of a sarcophagus, she mothers and protects the dead on their journey.

Meaning of the Card

Nut´s twinkling vast dark vault stretches out in your life to remind you to open to the mystery. Have you been planning every aspect of your life and left no room for mystery? Is your life wound up too tight? Are you trying to make everything safe by defining it, labeling it, knowing it all? Give way to the mystery, the unknowable. The Wise Woman knows there is much in the universe that will remain a mystery and leaves space for it in the weaving of her life. Nut says the way to nurture wholeness is for you to trust that the mystery you let in will be exactly what you need for your journey to wholeness.

Ritual Suggestion: Nut´s Embrace

Click the link below to download the meditation for Nut for $1.75

http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=55

You can do this as a journey in imagination or as a ritual if you life where you feel safe outside at night. If you choose to journey, find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and exhale quickly. Take another deep breath and exhale slowly. Take another deep breath and exhale with the slowness of a turtle.

If you choose to enact this ritual, go outside. If you are journeying, visualize, sense or feel the immensity of Nut´s body, the night sky, above you. See her form clearly. She is smiling at you. She holds her hand out to you, inviting you to come to her. She points to a spiraling path of stars that begin to twinkle in front of you. You step onto the path of stars. Now you are surrounded by Nut´s immensity, her vastness, her blackness. You see her waiting and you continue to climb the spiral path of stars until you are standing before her. She holds out her arms and you walk into her embrace, you also feel something you will never comprehend: her mystery. She urges you to open your heart to her and to trust her. You open your heart and experience a deep sense of oneness with the unknown. You feel safe and calm, centered and secure. You stay in her embrace until you feel full, satisfied, ready to move on. You thank Nut, and she tells you it is time to return. You walk the spiral path of stars back to Earth, back to your home, back to your body. Take a deep breath and, when ready, open your eyes. Welcome home!

Enjoying the Inquiry

2009-01-06T20:03:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

John tells me that yesterday's Goddess was not my most brilliant moment and my message was perhaps lost in an attempt to be clever. Oh, the power of distraction and bad tv! I guess I'd love to see real shows about relationships and women trying to really make a difference in their lives instead of showing women put in situations in which they need to fight each other for the attention of a man or for the attention of the camera in shows like "Bad Girls." It just seems like there are so many shows that exploit the insecurities of women. Well, there are probably plenty of good shows like that out there but I still got sucked into the bad ones.

Anyway, I'm sorry that my message was lost and unclear and, most embarrassing – typos!

I've taken on reestablishing my community and rebuilding relationships that may have been neglected while I was out of the country. Where I find that I´ve gotten stopped is – as always – my own perceptions – mostly about how I think things should be or look. And if I don´t show up as at least "together" then people would think less of me. So I´m working on these distorted sunglasses because no matter how NOT together I ever am, the only evidence that I have is that I am still loved.

Where might you need to change your distorted sunglasses – change your beliefs to transform your relationships?

Enjoying the inquiry.

Thank you ladies.

Love to you,
Patty

A Rose is a Rose

2009-01-05T18:26:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

So – it´s all about relationships this week in honor of Lady of Beasts and I can hardly focus because I'm watching The Bachelor…the quintessential conversation regarding relationships, eh? I´m not sure the goddess had this in mind with her message regarding relationships. I can´t help but feel as uncomfortable as when I watch Steve Carell on The Office, only these women are supposed to be for real..?

Anyway…

I´ve been pondering the idea of creating relationships new. With all of the new years resolutions and goals that you can´t help but think of at this time of year – if our relationships remain the same, can they ever transform? Or a more powerful question might be – if we remain the same inside of our relationships, can they transform? And while we may evolve and transform, if our experience of or our perspective of the people in our life don't transform and evolve, can they transform?

Well ladies – I will explore these question this question further, but right now someone is getting voted off The Bachelor. The Bachelor meets Survivor. Excellent. (I think I'm watching too much tv.)

Love to you,

Patty

Lady of Beasts

2009-01-05T17:52:00.001-08:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

I desire union

in ways comfortable and appropriate

I open to the dance with another

knowing that it will take me

to all the places I fear

some of the places I love

many of the places that need healing.

I listen with the ears of my heart

and communicate from a place of self-knowing

I consciously give myself away

and know how to take myself back

I see myself reflected

so perfectly in the other

that I begin my most important journey to seek out and claim

more of who I am.

Mythology:

The Goddess as Lady of Beasts was known to the people of Sumer, Crete, and the Indus Valley (India). Her name is largely unknown because worship of her predated writing. She was also known as the Cosmic Creatrix, the creative, fertile, life-giving force. Her special animals were held sacred as manifestations of the deity herself. She is depicted here pregnant, surrounded by pregnant animals, which speaks of her as a powerful fertility figure. She usually appears enthroned with a lion at her side indicating sovereignty and strength.

Meaning of the Card:

Lady of Beasts walks slowly and serenely into your life to tell you it is time to focus on creating supportive and nurturing relationships, with your unborn child, the animal(s) in your life, a lover, family, friends, and/or coworkers. Relating to others enables you to look at the parts of yourself that you don´t ordinarily see. Relationships are the mirror in which you can see who you really are. Wholeness is nourished when you see who you really are, accept what you see, and strive to heal what needs to be healed.

Are you in a relationship that presses all your buttons, brings up all your issues, leaves you feeling like a "woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown"? If both (or all) of you are committed to doing the work, willing to accept your pieces, your responsibility, this could be a gold mine. Perhaps you are in an abusive relationship, one that keeps hurting and hurting with no redeeming factors or one in which your partner is not looking at issues. This could be the time to gather your strength, lick your wounds, and move on. Perhaps better communication or acceptance could help your relationship. If you are contemplating a relationship, this is the time to open and engage. Lady of Beasts says the dance of relationship is the fast trace to evolving consciousness and personal power. It is joyful, painful, frustrating, exhilarating, annihilating, and completely worth it.

Ritual Suggestion: Creating Win-Win Situations

Find a time and a place when and where you and your partner, coworker, family member, or friend can be with each other uninterrupted. If the other person is not available to do this with you, you can do this as a journey on your own. You will need something that can serve as a "talking stick or stone"* You and the other(s) should be clear on what you all need, so that each of you can state that need clearly. Creating win-win situations brings all parties together to negotiate for those needs so that everyone wins. If there is any emotion around a need or if some feelings come up during the ritual, those emotions and/or feelings will need to be dealt with before a win-win situation can be achieved.

To create sacred space you can do a full ritual of calling in the elements/directions, burning incense, inviting in your power animals, the Goddess and God, and/or other spirit guides; or you can invoke the spirit of cooperation and completion. It is up to you. Remember to do what is appropriate and respectful for all.

Once sacred space has been created, it is time to pass the talking object. Each person states his or her needs, then you come to an agreement. For example: You want to go roller-skating on Thursday nights and need your partner to watch the kids. Your partner wants to go to science club meetings on Tuesday nights and wants you to watch the kids. You agree to wath the kids on Tuesday nights if he will watch them on Thursdays. This is a win-win situation.

There may be situations where you will have to do more negotiation and possibly some compromise, in order for everyone's needs to be met. It is important to really sit with any proposed compromise. Only you can decide if you can compromise, and in some cases you may not be able to. Not all situations can be resolved in a win-win way. There may be times when you give, the other person gives, and you both give. Relationships are a balancing act. The more you strive to create win-win situations, the more often you will succeed.

*An object held by one person at a time, signifying that s/he alone has the privilege of speaking. All present have the privilege of listening in a respectful way until that person is finished talking. When that person is finished, s/he passes that "stick" to the next person and so on, till all have a chance to express themselves and be heard.

Be the person of your dreams

2009-01-02T07:45:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Today I began the cleanup of my life and decided to start with my email and the 1,980 unread messages in my inbox. They are the myriad of emails that I´ve signed up for, yahoo groups, motivational emails, etc. You miss a few days (or months…) and suddenly you've got 2,000 unread messages. So in my effort to get rid of the clutter, I started taking a look at my emails and decided to "unsubscribe" to tut.com. And of course, I get the perfect message which totally relates to Minerva and the exploration of our beliefs…

Patty, today, be the person of your dreams.

See life through THEIR eyes.

Make decisions with THEIR mind.

Let every thought, word, and action come from THEIR perspective, as if you had already arrived, and just watch how 2009 warps into the kind of year you talk and laugh about forever and ever and ever...

Peace, love, and green M&Ms -
The Universe

Thoughts become things... choose the good ones! ®

©www.tut.com®
Patty, here's a little secret: That person already exists, there's nothing new to learn, just "let 'em out."

I know that (prepare for a convoluted rationale) I have let my beliefs about what I THINK others believe about me change my perception of myself and who I am in this world. It´s changed the way I´ve interacted with the people in my life, it´s kept me from sharing, it´s kept me from being present. The truth is, I´m probably making it all up anyway!! Silly girl…

Be the person of your dreams for that already is…you!

Love to you,

Patty

P.S. Check out your Personal Year Number according to Numerology: Key to Your Inner Self by Richard de A'Morelli

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T15:45:00.001-08:00

Dearest Goddesses,

It´s New Years Day and I have been waiting for the chance to open a brand new calendar and sort of brush off 2008 for what it was for me – A year of transition, of completion of contraction. I am looking forward to growth , joy, abundance and expansion beginning in 2009.

As you can tell from the distance between this and my last post – I have allowed my life and circumstances to distract me from my goal which is to truly make a difference. And rather than go through the grocery list of why and how come the distance existed – which would also not be in keeping with my commitment – I have decided to complete what I started last year which was sharing The Goddess Oracle and my life inside of those messages and hopefully make a difference for the people in my life.

My new boss has asked us to write out our goals for 2009 and put it in a sealed envelope with our names on it and give it to her to hold for the duration of the year. At the end of the year, she´ll give this envelope back to us to review – what did we want to create that we accomplished and then some? And also, what was important to us in January that changed over the course of the year? I encourage you to do the same and either have someone hold it for you, or put them away where you can review it in December.

In closing, to tell on myself, I don´t feel ready to begin sharing again, but I felt it was important to get over myself and to not make this about me. That perhaps my message, however small they may be…well it might just make a difference. And so, hopefully, as you are contemplating what it is that is important to you in this year - get out of your own way and take action, regardless of whether or not you are ready.

So, I leave you with where I left off last year…This weeks goddess is: Minerva who represents Beliefs. What a great way to start the New Year!

Wishing you all love, abundance, joy and expansion.

Love to you,
Patty

Minerva - Beliefs

2009-01-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

I am what I think
my life is shaped and formed
by what I tell myself
Who I am in the world
is who I think I am
WHat I have in the world
is what I think I can have
The contents of my mind
ae what I choose
I discard, cut out, drop
that which doesn't contribute
What others believe about me
is their story
It tells more about what they think
than who I am
In my journey
I make sure that what I carry
is of my own careful choosing
and serves me well.

Mythology:
Minerva, the Roman and Etruscan Goddess of inelligence, creativity, wisdom, domestic skills, and handicrafts was the patroness of artisans, of all people whose handiwork was guided by their minds. Her very name comes from the ancient root for "mind". Minerva appears here with her sacred tree, the olive. She wears an aegis, which is a breatplate edged with snakes, and an owl on her headdress which identifies her as a Goddess of death and the deepest mysteries.

Meaning of the Card:
Minerva has come to tell you it is time to examine your beliefs and change them if they do not nurture your wholeness. How are old, outworn, unhealthy thoughts undermining your life, your energy, your happiness? Do you believe what other people think and/or say about you? Are you still running the tape of negative messages your parents or caregivers gave you when you were a child? Do you believe the worst about yourself, or the best? Are your beliefs too rigid to permit and support your evolution? We are all born with a story. It is our choice whether we want to live the story we were born with or create one that nourishes all we want to be. Minerva says that wholeness is nurtured when you see yourself with all your parts - both dark and light - and choose your beliefs to serve your highest good.

Ritual Suggestion: What's in My Attic?

Click the link below to download the meditation for Minerva for $1.75

http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=52

Find a time and a place where and when you will not be disturbed. You will need paper and a pen. SIt or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath, breathing into all the parts of your body, letting the breath fill you as if you were a balloon. When you are absolutely filled, release it. Take another deep breath and release it. Close your eyes and sense, feel, or see a flight of stairs leading up to an attic. It can be an attic you know well or one you imagine. Climb those stairs. At the top of the stairs is a door. You have the key to the door on a cord around your neck. Take the key and open the door. You enter a room. On one wall are shelves. On one of the shelves is a box marked "beliefs." Take the box down and open it. Inside the box are your beliefs. Reach inside, pull one out, and examine it. After you have finished examining it to your satisfaction, ask yourself the question: "Does this belief serve my highest good/wholeness?" If you answer yes, put it back into the box and take out another. If you answer no, then change the belief into something that serves you, something that feels good, something nurturing.

Repeat your new belief several times and feel it sinking into your heart, into your consciousness. Let yourself feel the joy of having this new belief. When finished, put the new and improved belief back into the box and return the box to the shelf. Close the attic door and lock it with your key. Come down the stairs. When you arrive at the foot of the stairs, take a deep breath and exhale slowly as you come back into your body. When you feel ready, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Note: If you find that your belief seems to resist your efforts to change it, repeat this ritual at another time. This is a process and te beliefs you are working with have been in place for a long time. Commitment is important here. You might even try writing your new belief and posting it in a prominent place where you will see it often.

Winning Formula

2008-10-02T14:14:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

We all have winning formulas, ways in which we interact with the world that puts us out ahead, but doesn't really leave us feeling fulfilled or taken care of. I always thought that my winning formula was being accommodating - I would make sure everyone else was taken care of and not consider my own needs. And while that very may well be it, I've been confronted by another winning formula lately that I actually got clear about in my last post which was ultimately about facing my vulnerability, specifically relating to my body.

I have always been strong and being strong, or rather being stronger (than everyone) is the winning formula I have been facing since that last post. My body is made for strength - 6 feet tall, NYU record holder in shot put and discus (I decided to use that instead of putting my weight ;)) I've never been a small girl. And because I'm not a small woman, I believe I have used my strength to set me apart. And this strength has become my armor. If I am not perceived as strong (and this goes beyond the physical) I feel like a failure. Somewhere along the line, I decided that vulnerability = weakness. And since who I have defined myself to be is strong, there is no room for vulnerability - or rather, I have not made room for vulnerability.

My mantra didn't work and I ended up getting sick. It didn't last very long at all, but as I was driving to work yesterday morning, feeling rotten, I realized that there is a place for being sick. A time to regroup and force yourself to take care of yourself. Just because my mantra didn't stick, doesn't mean that my mind is weak, it just means that in order for my body to stay strong, it needed to fight off whatever I got which caused the symptoms that I had. And it really was only for a day - others were sick for a lot longer, so I can still work my winning formula at being stronger! I suppose everything is all about perspective anyway...

What is your winning formula? How is it keeping you at a distance from the people in your life?

Love to you,
Patty

Vitally Healthy

2008-09-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

I am vitally healthy, I am vitally healthy, I am vitally healthy.

Or at least that's what I'm trying to convince my mind so that it doesn't listen to my body or my stuffed up nasal passages. I haven't had a cold in about 2 years. I've had days of the sniffles and I've been under the weather and sad and I broke my wrist and I even think I've thrown up, but I haven't had that throw down kick you in the arse, can't get out of bed, residual snot for two weeks kind of cold. When I feel the sniffles coming on, I get my mantra out to work it

I am vitally healthy, I am vitally healthy, I am vitally healthy.

But the combination of air conditioning and germy co-workers has given me a sore throat and the sniffles and while I will not come right out and say that I am sick - because that's like an invitation or self-fulfilling prophecy and I truly believe in the power of the mind to determine the state of your health - I'm not quite connecting to the power of my mantra. And as I curve my arm at the keyboard, I understand what the shift is...I'm vulnerable. A little over a month ago I broke my arm. After 35 years of never breaking a bone, my arm broke. After 35 years of falling down stairs, of slipping on wet pavement, of running into doors (I think you get the idea, I'm more clutz than grace)...I broke something. At a different time, I know that the fall that I had wouldn't have resulted in a broken wrist. Some bruises, a big scrape perhaps, but not a broken wrist. There was something in that day - my state of mind, my circumstance, whatever - that allowed the break to happen.

Like any vacation, when you take time off from living your best life (connected, centered, powerful) you come back to lots of work in your inbox. In order to make my mantra work, I need to chip away at the onion layers that have accumulated since I've been on "vacation". And understand that while I've been broken and while I still feel a bit vulnerable, I do have control over my thoughts, beliefs and actions and Yes, darnit, even whether or not I succumb to the sniffing, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, please just kill me cold.

Here's to health. Vital Health.

Love to you,
Patty

Removing the Casts

2008-09-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

Dearest Ladies,

I'm sorry for my "emergence" and then disappearance. I have been a bit technologically deficient these past few weeks and haven't had a lot of internet free time.

John and I survived Hurricane Ike with barely any inconvenience, thankfully. There are a lot of people who weren't as lucky and our hearts go out to them...

So I've been thinking a lot about casts lately. I had a mini nervous breakdown the other day when I was desparate to get it off and none of the clinics in the area were able to take it off and I just couldn't bring myself to pay an orthopedic $500 to get it taken off and tell me that everything looks great. Without going into detail, I took matters into my own hands and all is well.

When I first got the cast put on, I was so timid. I didn't want to exert myself too much, it was still so sore and tender. Of course that lasted about 2 days before I was packing up everything in the house to prepare for our move. Little by little, I used the arm more and while it was awkward and annoying, there wasn't too much that I couldn't do. So when I got the cast taken off this week, it was a little scary to see this long limp arm that I hadn't seen in a month in front of me. I was weak and sensitive and felt like at any minute, my wrist would re-break. I felt vulnerable, exposed - I immediately put a brace on it to protect it.

I couldn't help feeling like this was a metaphor for life. We run around all self-expressed until one day we break something (like our heart for instance...) It takes time for the wound to heal, we put a cast on it to protect it, make sure that it starts to heal. After awhile, we become less and less aware that the cast is there - but still, there are some things that you can't do like you used to. You might feel constrained in the cast - I'm ready to get out there again!! Ando so you take away this constricting cast and suddenly this raw, unused part of yourself is exposed and you feel completely vulnerable and immediately want to cover it back up and put the cast back on so that you don't get hurt again.

We need to remember that while it takes time to heal fully - healing will not take place without a little physical therapy. If you go back to your cast, you will always be weak and shrivelled with only a facade to protect you. But if you take off the cast and then use a brace for a few days and then allow yourself to move freely more and more often, you will be amazed at the body's (and the spirit's) ability to heal itself and get stronger.

So, here's to breaking free of your cast. It's okay to take it slow, it's okay to take it in steps, but it's so important to get those muscles working as soon as possible.

Much love,
Patty

Emerging...

2008-09-12T06:57:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I am emerging after a most challenging few weeks. Nothing like transition and change to throw you off your center.

One of my last posts was pondering the end of the life of my precious dog Wilma. Thank you all for your kind words of support and love. I have some follow up posts that I want to share, but will leave today for an update and a pondering of the idea of change and transition. I spent a last lovely week with Wilma after that post and let her go on the 23rd of August. It was a terribly hard day and the hardest decision and I couldn't help but feel in some way that I had failed her. I went to bed that night and asked her to visit me in my dreams and let me know she was okay and that I had made the right decision. And while I don't remember any dreams specifically, I woke up completely at peace and when I think about her, I don't think about the "loss" of her, but of her contribution to my life. I don't shed any more tears, but simply smile at her memory. There is nothing better than a dog to teach you the valuable lessons of unconditional love. I miss her.

The day after we let Wilma go, I walked out of a restaurant into a rainy Costa Rican afternoon wearing flip flops and fell down hard breaking a bone in my wrist of my right hand. Needless to say, writing and typing have been quite a challenge, but it is all getting better. I have dreams every night about the cast being off and my arm being all shriveled and gross!!

And that was just the beginning of our transition! After spending 3 years in Costa Rica, we thought it might be time to try something new. We were lucky to have met some guardian angels who have provided exciting opportunities in Houston, TX. While we are still committed to seeing our Costa Rican projects develop, I was desperate for a change and to be back in the states. Besides, none of you were visiting me anyway...Tomorrow marks our week anniversary in Houston and this guy named Ike is planning this enormous welcoming party for us. Ike, it really wasn't necessary!!

It's actually quite scary and of course the non-stop news coverage doesn't help the feeling of anxiety. Currently I am hunkered down in Southwest Louisiana at the hotel that John is doing some marketing for. We are completely booked with the electrical company, so hopefully if the electricity goes off, we'll be the first back online!

So while with this update I can say, "see, there were a lot of reasons why I've been out of touch" the truth is, the idea of "not knowing" terrifies me, and I could't bring myself to write a single word. I find this terror interesting. I know that if my life were written out completely, with no potential for surprises I would be miserable. But when I turn the page in the book of my life and there is a situation that is out of my control, I freak. My goal is to stay centered - not just as a task master and a list checker but as a spiritual being. Connected not only to my discomfort and my terror, but also to the beauty and to ultimately trust that if you just trust and surrender to the universe you will be taken care of in the long run. (Not that it will look the way you want necessarily, but you are taken care of...) AND I am reminded of this quote:

'When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step into the darkness, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen...There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.'

Love to you,

Patty

Saying Goodbye

2008-08-14T04:45:00.000-07:00

Goodbyes are never easy. I remember at the holidays when all my cousins would come home to Woodstock and the tears that would flow, flow, flow when they left. It's the same thing every time I get on a plane to leave my family.

The goodbyes are harder still when they are permanent - our dear friend Nick Deane passed away this past Sunday. For those of you who were at my wedding - Nick is of Nick's where many a drink was drunk! He certainly was one of our favorite people and he will be missed.

I'm also facing the inevitable goodbye of one of my best friends - Wilma. She's 13 years old and has been a part of my life for almost 12 and she can't really take part in our walks anymore, she has trouble making it up the stairs and I've noticed a new tiredness in her eyes.

I'm okay with the cycle of life and understand that death and rebirth are a part of that cycle. I know that it is time to say goodbye - but I've never been the deciding factor before in life and death. (Well, I was responsible for Bubba the fish's death in college, but somehow the toilet flush seems a bit different) She's my family, you know? She's never left my side. Determining the end of life has been a horrific struggle for me.

I will save the eulogy for when she's gone for I will need to celebrate her life and who she was for me. Now it's time to celebrate the time she has left and make her feel beyond loved.

Death...a part of life, but never easy. The goodbyes are important I've found - whether it is a physical death or a metaphoric one. And I find that it is never too late. Is there a good-bye you need to say to let something go?

Many blessings,
Patty

Pity Party Hangover

2008-08-11T20:12:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Well, I am a bit hungover for the week long pity party that I had for myself. It was quite the blowout!

I suppose at times like those, it’s best to reach out to people, let them in, ask for help. I just know that if I open my mouth, I might start to whine and I would rather not subject anyone to that. So, you’re welcome ;) But although I wasn’t prepared to put myself out there and feel like a fraud, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted to share with you.

Today, I thought I’d share an insight that I got from my tried and true – Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman. It really was perfect for me, and maybe it will ring true for you as well.

Are you willing to believe in ideas of abundance, of validating the inner world, and of learning to grow through joy?

Starting with your own past, think of a time in which something happened you did not understand. Now, as you look back as an adult, as an older, more mature self, you can understand precisely why you drew that incident to you and what you learned from it. You can see as you look back with the larger picture in mind that when you did not get what you thought you wanted, thee was a reason for not having it. Perhaps not having it changed your life path. Maybe having it would have held you back in some way, or maybe it was something you wanted from a smaller, less evolved part of you. As you look back with your memories, reviewing past relationships and career paths (even those you are still in but letting go of), see how they served you. What you have now would not be possible without those experiences. You cannot leave something until you love it. The more you hate something the more bound you are to it, and the more you love it the freer you are. So as you love your past, you are free from it.

When you can think of your childhood and your parents and know that they were perfect for the path you are on, you are then free of the effects of your past. You can believe that you chose your parents, relationships, and careers so that you could be where you are now. As you change your negative memories into positive understanding, you can go even faster into your new future.

You can release the past by loving it.

Every time you think of a bad memory that makes you feel sorry for yourself, or bad about how you acted, or makes you see yourself as a victim, or makes you hold a negative picture of yourself, Stop! See what good you created from that experience. It may be that you learned so much from it you never again brought that kind of behaviour back into your life. It may be that because of that situation, you changed your path. It may have brought you an important connection or helped develop new qualities and personality traits. You may have served and helped many people in that job. Your parents may have developed your strength, or your inner will, by creating obstacles for you. People who want to develop muscles, for instance, may use weights to push against. Your parents may have acted as a “weight” for you to push against to develop your inner strength. Everything in your past happened for your good. If you could believe that the universe is friendly, that it is always helping you to create your highest good, you could live a life of more peace and security.

Look at your present time existence. If you wish to see the larger picture you can sit and imagine that you are going into the future. If you are facing a new challenge, one for which you have not yet acquired the necessary skills, imagine yourself going into the future and uniting with your future self, drawing to you the knowledge that future self holds. It may not come into your conscious awareness until the moment you need it, but the energy and knowledge your future, for from that perspective it would be much simpler to know what to do today. You could even imagine you are that future self and talk to your self of today from that future perspective. You could make things up, telling yourself why you are going through what you are experiencing and affirming to your present self the rightness of everything that is happening. Your future self is real and separated from you only by time. It can talk to you and help you know what to do right now, how to get where you want to go even more quickly.

This rang quite true for me and what I’m going through and made it clear that “hating” my present isn’t going to change it – it simply binds me to it even stronger. And it just isn’t any fun.

I will send this week’s goddess tomorrow –as this has been a lot of typing. Think about her though: Minerva: Beliefs.

Love to you,
Patty

The Mighty Atom

2008-07-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

So, John is reading this really great book called A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson and he’s been sharing some snippets which are just mind boggling. For me, science has never been easy – but I feel like the bits that John has shared with me has taught me more than all my science classes and has certainly lit a fire under John to want to study Physics!

Below is an excerpt from the book in the chapter called The Mighty Atom:

The basic working arrangement of atoms is the molecule (from the Latin for “little mass”). A molecule is simply two or more atoms working together in a more or less stable arrangement: add two atoms of hydrogen to one of oxygen and you have a molecule of water. Chemists tend to think in terms of molecules rather than elements in much the way that writers tend to think in terms of words and not letters, so it is molecules they count, and these are numerous to say the least. At sea level, at a temperature of 32 degrees Fahrenheit, one cubic centimetre of air (that is, a space about the size of a sugar cube) will contain 45 billion billion molecules. And they are in every single cubic centimetre you see around you. Think how many cubic centimetres there are in the world outside your window – how many sugar cubes it would take to fill that view. Then think how many it would take to build a universe. Atoms, in short, are very abundant.

They are also fantastically durable. Because they are so long lived, atoms really get around. Every atom you possess has almost certainly passed through several stars and been part of millions of organisms on its way to becoming you. We are each so atomically numerous and so vigorously recycled at death that a significant number of our atoms – up to a billion for each of us, it has been suggested – probably once belonged to Shakespeare. A billion more each came from Buddha and Genghis Khan and Beethoven, and any other historical figure you care to name. (The personages have to be historical, apparently, as it takes the atoms some decades to become thoroughly redistributed; however much you may wish it, you are not yet one with Elvis Presley.)

So what does this mean? Well I took two major points away from these two amazing paragraphs:

The same atoms that made up some of the greatest people in our history are a part of me. That I’ve travelled through stars and tree leaves and volcano lava – all that is within me – within us! So when I feel like I’m not good enough, all I need to do is think about the greatness that is within me – of the historical greatness. And when you think that DaVinci had more talent in the fingernail of his right thumb than you do? Well – maybe, just maybe you actually are made up of the atoms that made up DaVinci’s thumbnail!! Ha!
That the atoms that are a part of me are a part of the same atoms that make up the guy across the street, the bum that sleeps on the side of my house, of my best friend, of the co-worker that drives me crazy, of Barack Obama, of George Bush! A part of what makes me up – also lives inside of everyone. We’re related, we’re one. What differentiates friend from enemy; family from foe is simply our experience, our stories.

I happened upon a site from an old student of mine and it was of a step dance performance from Bard College - really fun to watch - and I usually never take the time to read any comments - but for some reason I did last night and was just appalled. There was only comments about how fat the girls were and the racial makeup of the group. I just think if we all took the time to celebrate successes rather than finding ways to create distance - it might just be easier to be the great human beings we already are.

Phew! Very cool stuff. If you have a chance to check out the movie What The Bleep Do We Know, it puts a lot of the concepts of Quantum Physics into an edible form.

Don’t be afraid of the deep end!

Love to you,
Patty

Hide & Seek

2008-07-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I feel like I've been forcing these posts lately - like I don't really have anything to say. I know that it is mostly a function of my hiding - from life, from love, from being creative. I just figured I'd tell on myself. The truth is, hiding is no fun unless it's part of a game and people are actively looking to find you. I like to play hide and seek - only I don't really tell anyone that I'm playing and then get sad when nobody seeks me! Ah, if only everyone could read my mind. In order to really be sought, you've got to be out there, not hiding.

This reminds me of something I read recently - where if you have the belief that people that you smile at on the street smile back - you will subconsciously only choose to smile at the people who will smile back at you. If you have the belief that nobody smiles on the street - you will choose to smile at people who don't smile back. If I'm hiding and believe that nobody will seek me - no matter how "out there" I am, I find that nobody actively seeks me and when I get over myself and am open to receive - then I find that I am pleasantly surprised. It doesn't always work - and I think that has more to do with my openness and my expectations. But hiding only makes me feel more lonely.

Well, I am willing to get out of my turtle shell and receive. I suppose telling on ourselves is the first step. If you've been hiding, like me, how can you tell on yourself? Where might you need to ask to be sought?

Love to you,
Patty

Changing Woman: Cycles

2008-07-28T11:11:00.001-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle, copyright 1997, by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto.

______________________________________________________________________________________

I am what comes round again and again

what can never die

I renew myself in the seasons

in the cycle of time

the great round

I bleed yet do not die

I keep my blood within and become wise

I dance the spiral

and keep changing

Mythology:

Changing Woman, or Estsanatlehi (self-renewing one) – as she is called by the Navajo and Apache – can change her age merely by walking into the horizon. White Shell Woman and Turquoise Woman are among her many names, which correspond to the changing colors of her dress as the seasons change. The Navajo say that she was found by Coyote, after being born of Darkness and Dawn on Spruce Mountain, with a blanket of clouds and rainbows, secured in her cradleboard by lightning and sunbeams. Her gifts to the people are the Blessingway ceremonies, the seasons and food.

Meaning of the Card:

Changing Woman comes spinning into your life to tell you the way to wholeness for you lies in learning to honor your cycles. Menstrual cycles are an important aspect of being female. We bleed but do not die, and therefore can bring forth life. As we continue to dance our cycles, we reach the time of menopause when we leave our childbearing years behind and hold our wise blood within. We can then be a resource for our loved ones and community by becoming hags, which means “women of wisdom.”

Do you celebrate your menstruation and view it as a time for you to go within? As a time to let go, let die, so the new can come? Or have you bought into the patriarchal view that it is a curse, something unclean, something to be hidden away? Does menopause automatically fill you with fear of becoming old and ugly, no longer valuable and worthy in a culture that adores youth? Do you feel invalidated in a society that urges women to hide their bleeding times, regulate their hormones by taking pills and postpone menopause through ERT (estrogen replacement therapy)?

Honoring your cycles also means honoring your own unique process, your own unique path in life. You may be in the midst of a particular life cycle that you need to surrender to and honor. Changing Woman says that wholeness is nurtured when we reclaim the power of our cycles by paying attention to them and celebrating them. By celebrating our cycles, we celebrate ourselves as women.

Ritual Suggestion: Celebrating Your Cycles

Find a time and a place where and when you will not be disturbed. Sit, stand, or lie comfortably and identify the cycle you are in. You may choose to find or make a symbol of your present cycle. Cast a circle by calling in (speaking to the elements and asking them to be present) or by becoming the elements (see Vila, Shape Shifting) If you are using a symbol, place that symbol in the center of your circle. Walk around the outside of your circle and fill the inside of the circle with respect and honoring. You could fill it by putting on your favorite dance music and dancing around the circle, thinking or chanting, “I love my cycles, I love being a woman”. You could drum or play a musical instrument. You can do anything that celebrates you and your cycles. Be sure to notice if any feelings come up and allow yourself to express them.

Continue until you feel the energy in the circle is strong, then step in and breathe it deep into your cells. Lie, sit or stand in the circle, whatever is comfortable for you. Let the celebratory energy you have built up nourish you to the very core of your body/mind/spirit. Feel its healing power reweave the torn wounded places inside. F eel yourself as a woman, proud to be a woman, proud to bleed, proud to hold your wise blood within, proud to be in the midst of whatever cycle you are in. When you feel full, give thanks to Changing Woman, to yourself, to your womanhood. Step out of the circle. Release what you have called in. Welcome Back!

Hunger Pangs

2008-07-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I've always been a snacker and I really never discriminated (discrimination is not nice, you know!!). Salt, sweet... I went for it all. And the more that was in front of me, the more that I ate, regardless of hunger.

Well, I shared how I was off the caffeine and sugar and breads - well I've been doing the Adkins diet and really doing well. It just became clear to me one day that I was not a "once in awhile" indulger. If it was in the house - perhaps I could make it to a once every few hours indulger - but really, if it was in the house, it had a voice and it knew how to SCREAM my name!

So I gave it all up, cold turkey. After that initial physical withdrawal slump, I've had so much more energy, my nails have grown stronger, I'm losing weight and I'm not hungry. I find that I eat when I'm hungry, I drink when I'm thirsty and I'm eating healthy proteins and veggies and will begin to take on some grains in the next week or so. Physically I feel great.

I read Anthony Keidis's book Scar Tissue - he is the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Really great book. He's suffered with serious addiction most of his life and at one point he talked about being "dry drunk" where he was dry - he wasn't drinking or doing drugs, but he wasn't actively dealing with his addictions and it was kind of like walking a balance beam all the time. I can't help but feel that way around food! I'm not hungry, I'm not craving anything specific - but I MISS the snacking. I miss the munching, crunching sweetness of snacking!

I was in the grocery store the other day - and the grocery stores down here, while they really offer a lot of the things that you can find in the states - there is simply not the selection. So there are no Atkins bars to choose from, etc. or the low carb snack foods - which, I think is a blessing (otherwise, I'm sure I'd convince myself that I could eat just one!) But I walked up and down the aisles longingly - not really craving anything - but knowing I was craving something! And can probably assert that that something has very little to do with food. And for now - the complete limitation is helping me recognize this desire simply to feed.

Well tonight, we happened to look through the Atkins book and found a recipe for ice cream! MY FAVORITE!!! So we made it and while it is still not completely frozen, John and I talked about entering the danger zone. Can we limit ourselves to the 1/2 cup serving? I suppose this is our big test...

What are you hungry for?

Love to you,
Patty

Tether Ball

2008-07-23T13:21:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I was watching my dogs on their walk today struggling against the tether of their leashes. I had to yell at Ginny twice because she saw something in the road and wanted to chase after it. Poor girl - all she wants to do is play and run and chase and bite and discover...I couldn't help but feel intimately related to my dogs in that moment. Only instead of a real collar and leash not letting me run here and there and keeping me on a particular path - I've got my pretend leash on of my own design - and I almost think it's more confining than the real thing would be.

I once did this teleseminar by Jack Canfield discussing the power of your environments. They had looked at the phenomenon of people who leave personal development training all lit up only to go back into their lives and the "high" that they had felt walking out of the room slowly disappeared into just another great idea. Landmark Education teaches something similar - about transforming your communities - as the different communities in your life represents different environments. Feng Shui asserts that your physical environment represents different areas of your life and your body - more about your environment.

Rather than one tether of my own design keeping me at a certain reach - I feel like I've got about a dozen tethers of different shapes, sizes and lengths and depending on my relationship with a certain environment/community/feng shui gua dictates my range of motion. And as much as 11/12 of my environments are running smoothly - if I've neglected or avoided one area, that short tether will begin to affect the rest of my world.

In one of Sanaya Roman's books, I'm not sure which, she talked about identifying the essence of what it is that you want. If you want a new house - what does that new house represent for you? Security, freedom, power, expansion... Get in tune with the essence and start bringing that essence into your life now. You may find that the house comes easier - or you may find that you are perfectly comfortably where you are - you just needed to be open to the essence.

I think of the walk with my dogs today and this feeling of being tethered by my environments and I think of what I want to create and I know the essence is freedom. It's time to invite freedom in and I bet my environments transform in an instant.

Love to you,
Patty

Focus Don't Fret

2008-07-21T09:51:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I was lucky enough to be able to take advantage of Eric Maisel's offer for free creativity coaching for his coaches in training and I'm working with Theresa over the past few weeks. Well the past few weeks I've felt like I've been having a quarter life crisis or something. Perhaps it's the location of the planets, or my 35th birthday, or my current environment or circumstances. This is not an "I want to be 21 again" at all - but more what have I done with the time I've had and what do I want to do moving forward. I shared my frustration with Theresa and she had this great response that I wanted to share with you.

"On those "big-bad-big-question" days, as I call 'em, I gotta just sit down, be still, and ask myself...what will it be TODAY? Focusing instead of fretting seems to help me best through those days. "

Focus don't fret. Choose something. It doesn't have to be the "right" something, it doesn't have to be what gets you on Oprah or is your million dollar idea, just focus, don't fret.

Focus has always been hard for me. Like making a choice on a diner menu - there is so much out there, so much to choose from, so much I'm interested in - how could I possibly focus on only ONE thing? And I suppose what I've been having the most trouble with is defining what it is I can offer people - what is my calling and instead of focusing on one thing - I fret and fret and instead notice where I am lacking in each area of my life, where I'm not qualified, where I don't have support, etc.

So this week, I focus on me - who I am for people, what I am on this earth to contribute - I welcome your feedback (who I am for you - how you see me in the world) And I welcome you on this same inquiry with me. Let us enjoy the warm fires of Brigid inspiring us this week (make sure you check her out!)

Remember - focus don't fret.

Love to you,
Patty

Brigid: Inspiration

2008-07-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle, copyright 1997, by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto.
_____________________________________________________________________

Let me come to you

Through the mists

Through the fire

Through the plants

Through the deep flowing wells

With ideas

Visions

Words

Music beyond the tips of your ears

Let me move you

Enliven you

Stimulate you

Till your perspective shifts

And your mind/body/spirit explodes

And you are left standing

In the wake of what has been revealed…

And life feels very sweet

Mythology

Brigid (pronounced bridg’id), which means “bright”, is a Celtic triple Goddess of fire the fire of inspiration, smithcraft, poetry, healing and divination. Her inspiration was vital to the bards (poets) who called upon her freely. Legend says that Brigid was born with a flame reaching out from the top of her head, connecting her with the universe. The new (Christian) and the old (pagan) Brigid were merged into St. Brigid in A.D. 450. St. Brigid, daughter of a druid, was a goldsmith and a healer. Nineteen priestesses/nuns guard her sacred fire in Kildare, Ireland. On the twentieth of each month, it is said she appears and tends it herself.

Meaning of the Card

Brigid comes to ignite you with inspiration. Are you feeling a lack of direction? Motivation? Energy? Has your path gone out of focus, your life become unclear? Are you yearning for something but can’t quite put your finger on it? Its is time to nurture wholeness by taking in the sparkle and crackle of inspiration. Brigid says that a life without the fire of inspiration is dull indeed. She further counsels that by allowing inspiration to nurture your life you become sharper, clearer and more energetic.

Ritual Suggestion: Journey to Brigid

Find a time and place when and where you will not e disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. When you feel ready, take a deep breath and release it with a sigh, letting o of all you need to let go of. Take another deep breath and let it go with a hiss. Take a third deep breath and , as you release it, picture or sense a cave, a cave you have visited before or one that exists only in your mind. Now take another deep breath and, as you release it, stand before the cave. Run your fingers along the wall of the cave. Smell the cave. Enter it.

Inside, the cave is well lit and warm, and you find yourself going down, down, down, deeper and deeper and deeper. It is a pleasant and comfortable feeling to go down, down, down, deeper and deeper and deeper. T here is a light at the end of the cave. You are at the threshold, the place where the cave ends and the Otherworld begins. Step out now into the Otherworld. Notice the dazzling sunlight, the freshness in the air, the vivid colors.

Brigid is waiting for you beside an ancient stone well. You walk over to her across the soft, spongy, emerald grass. She tells you she is happy to see you ad glad that you have arrived. You tell her you seek inspiration. Brigid asks you for a gift and you give it to her gladly. Then she rings you in a circle of fire and lights a fire in your own crown chakra (top of your head). You feel a tingling and stimulating of that point. You feel your energy opening and expanding. Your power to visualize clears and grows stronger. You feel inspired!!

It is time for you to say good-bye. You thank Brigid. She tells you all you need to do to activate inspiration is to visualize that flame at the top of your head. You enter the cave. Now you are coming up, up, up, through the warm comfort of the cave, feeling relaxed, energized, refreshed. Up, up, up, till you reach the entrance of the cave. Move outside of the cave, take a deep breath, and as you slowly exhale you are back in your body. Take another deep breath and when you exhale, if ready, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Marriage Reflections

2008-07-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Yesterday was our 4th wedding anniversary. For those of you who celebrated with us in Montauk thank you again! I definitely wished I was back there yesterday!

So today I thought about all the things that I’ve learned after 4 years of marriage and thought I’d share them with you:

It’s so much more fun to laugh at ourselves and each other than stay mad over something stupid.
Both of us participate in every fight we may have, therefore both are responsible. Asking where can I be responsible is more productive than focusing on what a jerk he might be.
It’s totally okay to go to bed angry. Sleeping on it usually gives some perspective and the spontaneous cuddles throughout the night reminds you of all the warmth.
Communication – no matter how messy – is 100% better than silence.
Sometimes you don’t have to open your mouth and comment.
It’s not up to me to “change” him, but it is definitely up to me to see him in his greatness, even when he’s not being great, or I’m not being great.
What seems like the “end of the relationship argument” can quickly turn into love if I let it.
Every mess can be cleaned up.
It’s up to me to make sure I’m living my best life, it’s not up to him.
It’s up to me to communicate my needs, wants, desires, etc. It’s not up to him to anticipate them or to read my mind.
It’s better just to remind him about anniversaries and birthdays – whether he remembers does not determine it’s importance to him or how much he loves you.
Communicate expectations so they don’t create upset.
It’s a lot of fun to go through life with someone you can laugh with.
Through adversity you can realize that you married your true love which makes the good times all the more sweet.

Love to you all.

Patty

Survival of the Fittest

2008-07-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I’m so grateful for this week’s goddess – Eostre/Growth. I am ready!!! I am coming out of this period of stagnation and lethargy and I am so ready to make things happen.

I’ve read that it takes 3 days to get over food addictions and I woke up for my fourth day without sugar, bread or caffeine bright eyed! Not quite bushy tailed yet since I’m having trouble figuring out what I want to focus my energy on. I like to use the term “channel your energy” – especially with John and I really need to be open to some clarity in finding my direction (and not just follow the whim of the day).

I thought I’d share an observation with you this morning and hope for your feedback. I’ve been living in a beautiful house in a fairly undesirable area of San Jose. I’m really working on attracting a nice house with a beautiful backyard where my dogs can come and go freely. Now, I need to take them out for walks several times a day. And because of my country gal (who won’t go to the bathroom on anything but grass) and I’ve sort of got slim pickins in the grass department. So anyway – my old dog Wilma is about 13 years old and in tough shape. She is slow and hobbles – but loves going out for the walks. The other two want to get “there” as fast as they can (sounds like me!) and so Wilma trails behind us, sometimes at quite a distance. Well over the 5 months we’ve lived here, people are constantly slapping Wilma and a little girl actually poured soda on her head! I mean, this is a poor old dog!

So this morning, John and I were walking and sure enough a homeless man slapped Wilma on the butt. John immediately got in his face (she’s our girl!) and as John walked away, the man didn’t look after him with a sense of shame or upset but like he couldn’t believe John had the audacity to call him out over a “dog”. I was angry, I said – why, why would they put their hands on her? And he said something interesting – well, it’s survival of the fittest. People see something weak and they have to go after it. I suppose that could be why people LOVE watching the news which is filled with doom and gloom, I suppose that’s why they LOVE the gossip magazines – if we can see failure in someone else – somehow it makes us feel better? And yet, there’s the flipside – people who go out of their way to protect the weak and while there are the jerks who put their hands on Wilma or pour soda on her head, there are also the people I’ve noticed who see an old dog walking and say – pobresita, esta gorda (fat) and chat me up about the poor, old, fat dog.

In the book A Complaint Free World, William Bowen tells this story about how he lives on a curve and people tend to drive too fast and one day a man in a pickup hit his dog and just kept on driving. He was so angry at this man that he immediately got in his car and followed him, convinced that when he saw him he would kill the man. He followed him all the way to his house and William pulled into the driveway, got out of the car and said “you hit my dog!” And the man replied, “yeah, so – what are you going to do about it?” He was so floored by this man’s reaction, his lack of remorse and he rethought the idea of getting into a fist fight and headed back to his house to bring his dog to the vet and be with his family. He struggled and struggled for days with the reaction of this man and finally realized that this man must be in so much pain not to be able to feel remorse for a dead dog. Suddenly, he was filled with compassion for this man and wished him well.

Food for thought…

Love,
Patty

Eostre - Growth

2008-07-14T10:22:00.001-07:00

I am the movement toward becoming

expanding

enhancing

the impulse deep within all being

to develop

evolve

press onward

to fulfil

all that is possible

Mythology:

The Germanic Goddess of fertility, agriculture and spring, Eostre (pronounced yo’ster) or Eastre, was celebrated with the ritual lighting of dawn fires as a protection for the crops. She symbolizes springtime, new growth and rebirth. Once, when the Goddess was late in coming, a little girl found a bird close to death from the cold and turned to Eostre for help. A rainbow bridge appeared and Esotre came, clothed in her red robe of warm, vibrant sunlight which melted the snows. Spring arrived. Because the little bird was wounded beyond repair, Eostre changed it into snow hare who then brought rainbow eggs. As a sign of spring, Eostre instructed the little girl to watch for the snow hare to come to the woods.

Meaning of the Card:

Eostre comes into your life with her springtime message of personal growth. It is time to open to things in your life that facilitate growth, development, evolution. Is there a class or workshop you’ve been wondering if you should take? Do it now! Is there something new that you want to include in your life? Let it in now! Have you just gone through a period of stagnation and lethargy where nothing seemed to be happening? Let it go! Now is the time for growth. Eostre says that wholeness is nurtured when you embrace experiences, risks, and occasions that cause you to stretch. The stretching promotes your growth.

Ritual Suggestion: Growth

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take in a deep breath to the count of six, hold for sex, and exhale for six. Do this three times. Let a feeling of relaxation and well-being spread through your body. Now choose a plant. It can be a plant you know well or one you imagine, a cultivated plant of a wild one. You are the seed of this plant, and you have just been placed in the ground by human hands, animal feet or the breath of the wind. You have been asleep, held in a state of suspended animation until conditions were right for you to begin your cycle of growth. Now it is time for you to wake up and grow. You tingle and vibrate as you begin to expand. Your movement and expansion cause you to break gently out of your hull. You can now begin taking in what you need for your growth.

You drink in moisture for the earth and draw in all that nourishes you. You only take in what you really need and you know what you need. First you develop roots. Those roots travel downward into the earth, both to anchor you an to search for what you need to continue your growth. Now you begin to expand upward, responding to the light and warmth of the sun and you send up your first green leaves. More warmth and light from the sun pulls you up and out. More water and nutrients from the earth, and you grow and create more leaves and deeper roots. As the conditions around d you continue t nurture you, you and your environment continue the weaving dance of taking in and expanding out, breathing in and breathing out, as you continue to unfold and become exactly who you are.

Stay with that feeling, sense, or image of breathing in – taking in what you need – and breathing out – expanding and growing – for as long as is appropriate for you. Now take a deep breath and release it slowly coming back into your human body. When you feel ready, open your eyes. Welcome back!

The Afternoon of My Discontent

2008-07-10T11:59:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I feel sort of like I'm running through mud these past few days - not sure where I'm going, but just know that I want to get out! But it's not like it's been in the past, where it's been all about struggle and feeling down - I've got this itch that I can't scratch, this feeling of discontent. I heard that whenever Tony Robbins feels that itch, that discontent, he gets excited because he knows that change is coming and with change comes breakthrough. I'm trying to change my lenses and be excited for the journey, excited for the transformation, instead of focusing on the discomfort of not knowing.

The discomfort caused me to get my paints out - which was a good thing. I went in to lay down because my body felt sluggish, but my mind was all over the place. I had this intense vision of being in my grandparent's backyard - looking onto the porch, swinging on the hammock, feeling the breeze on my face. I felt like I wanted to recreate that vision - to be on that hammock, to feel that breeze, to be carefree. I put paintbrush to paper, I drew a line and immediately got cranky because I knew that what was in my head would not be accurately represented on the paper. So I titled the work "The afternoon of my discontent" and it turned out pretty interesting. I suppose if you just let the paintbrush go it will create what needs to be created and our thoughts and visions of how it should look are just roadblocks that get in the way. For if it is already perfect in my head to begin with - what's the use of trying to create it all over again? I'll always have the memory.

So here's to the discomfort - may it always be like the Emperor Moth whose discomfort and struggle brings forth beautiful wings. I will await change excitedly...(or try to at least!)

I would like to dedicate today in honor of my parents who are celebrating 37 years of marriage today!

Love and blessings,
Patty

Sailing

2008-07-07T09:22:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I was just sitting staring at a blank screen thinking of what I wanted tos ay when I picked up a journal I keep the quotes I like and opened it randomly to see what might jump out at me to get my thoughts jumping.

“I am no longer afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my own ship.”

- Louisa May Alcott

This is definitely something I am relating to these days and trying to take action around it, instead of playing the tired victim or martyr role. This morning was a perfect example. I like my relaxed morning routine. John and I wake up, go walk the dogs, make cappuccinos, make breakfast and start the day. This morning we woke up late and he had a conference call that he needed to prepare for. I immediately went into crank mode (“why didn’t you prepare last night, wah, wah, wah…”) and then I shifted. I decided that I’d have all of the things that I wanted this morning despite the lack of John time (it’s hard to get his attention when the computer is in front of him!). So – I walked the dogs, found a new health store that just opened up around the corner from us, made coffee, made pancakes (they weren’t as good as Johns, but…) and by the time breakfast was on the table, John was done with his call and suggesting that we get out of the house at lunch today to go to the park to have a picnic lunch and review some goals.

While this is a very simple example of sailing my own ship – it’s the little moments that can sometimes be the most significant. And since one of my main challenges is waiting (for others to…do it for me, do it with me, give me permission, give me approval, tell me how great I am, take care of me) the little steps are important. The more I wait, the more the rest of the world is sailing my ship.

Take one step today toward sailing your own ship and tell me what came out of it!!

Love to you,
Patty

P.S. I have started an online version of WE: Women Empowered Through Creativity and Reflection and I am just loving it. If any of you are interested in participating, please let me know and I will send you all of the logistical information.

Vila: Shape-Shifting

2008-07-06T17:04:00.000-07:00

I dance from form to form

I shift from shape to shape

ever changing

ever expanding

ever becoming

I am flexibility

for by changing my form

I freely flow with all that comes my way

I am consciousness

for by shifting my shape

I gain an expanded awareness of what it is to BE

I waltz a whirlwind

tango a tree

salsa a swan

or just plain fox-trot

My dance is an affinity with All

for I am able to become All in order to know All

Becoming All dissolves form

Knowing All creates Oneness

The illusion is that you have a separate shape

Mythology

Vila (pronounced vee’lah) is the eastern European name for the Goddess energy moving through the earth as nature. Vily (plural) are very protective of their terrain and use their arrows of death on those who trespass. They are consummate shape-shifters, able to change into animals such as snakes, swans, falcons, and horses. They love to play and dance. If contacted in the forest on a moonlit night, they might grant health, wealth, abundant crops or they might, if shown disrespect, dance the offender to death.

Meaning of the Card

Vila has come dancing into your life in her many forms to teach you to nourish wholeness by learning to shape-shift. Have you been too long in one form? Are you feeling stiff and stagnant, losing flexibility in your way of thinking and being? Or perhaps you feel that the human is the most important being in creation – that the rocks, trees, animals, earth, et cetera, are lesser forms. It is time to expand your awareness, to enhance your flexibility by getting the perspective of other forms. Vila says the way to wholeness lies in experiencing the whole of creation.

Ritual Suggestion: Shape-Shifting the Elements

Select a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Stand, sit or lie comfortably with your back straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly, letting everything go with it. Take ea deep breath into your womb, through your vagina. Feel the air fill your womb and then exit through your vagina. Keep breathing into your womb.

Stand facing the east and visualize, feel, sense the element air in whatever form you choose: a warm summer breeze, a windy March day. When you have a clear sense of the air, breathe it into your womb until your womb becomes the air. Let the air spread through your whole body, so that your body dissolves and you are the air. Allow yourself to experience oneness with the air until you are ready to move on. Then let the airy sensation recede into your womb and finally leave your body completely.

Facing south, get a strong sense, visual image, or feeling of fire. Is it a bonfire or a flickering candle? A forest fire or hearth fire? Focus on your image, then take it into your womb so that your womb becomes the fire. Let the fire gradually spread through your body so that you dissolve into the fire. Stay with the experience of being fire until it is time for you to return. Let the fire recede until it is only in your womb, then et the fire go completely.

Face the west and the element water. Sense, see or feel a running stream, a calm clear pond, the immensity and power of the ocean, or a glass of water and focus on it. Then breathe it into your womb so that your womb becomes the water. Let it spread to the rest of your body so that your body dissolves and you become the water. Enjoy the experience of being water until you feel it is time to return. Gradually let the water recede until it is only in your womb, then release the water completely.

Face the north and the element earth. Choose the image, sense, or feeling of earth that is appropriate for you – the mountains, jungle, forest, desert – and focus on it. Breathe it into your womb until your womb becomes one with the earth. Let the earth spread throughout your body until your body dissolves and you are the earth. Stay with that experience until you are ready to return. Gradually let the earth recede from your body until the earth is only in your womb, then release the earth completely. Take a deep breath and open your eyes. Welcome back to your human form.

Waiting to Exhale

2008-07-01T12:00:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I never realized the sheer genius of the title of Terry McMillan’s book Waiting to Exhale until recently when I actually had the feeling like it had been weeks since I had really exhaled. I’ve had the feeling of holding my breath in anticipation for months now. I went to my tried and true guide Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman and I flipped it open to a chapter on clarity.

When we are faced with change or feelings of uncertainty we tend to lose our perspective on the big picture and only focus on the immediate situation. When we keep our perspective, when we look at our life as one long story instead of a series of disjointed chapters, suddenly the “crisis” that we are facing in chapter 157 becomes the baseline for the tremendous epiphany in chapter 163. (I suppose if my life were like a James Patterson book, I’d already be on chapter 1063 at least…)

But seriously – think about a time in your life when you faced a tremendous challenge – one of those “end of the world” bits. Although you still may look back on that as a difficult time in your life or still think it was unfair, etc. the truth is you survived. It wasn’t the end of the world – and chances are, if we truly look back on the situation, it turned out for the best or provided a needed learning experience or simply proved the old adage that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

I’ll share a bit of an excerpt from Living With Joy with you now:

“Achieving clarity involves seeing the larger picture, a longer time frame, a bigger perspective. The larger your view, the clearer you can be…If you are willing to look at yourself as a whole, you can begin t find different levels of clarity around the present moment. It does not mean you need to know the form or where you are going. It means that the larger the picture you hold of who you are, the clearer you can be. If you were to go into the future and look back at today, you could gain a new perspective of who you are, for clarity is brought about by the changing of perspective. Most of you have certain ways you think, certain habits and patterns. Every time you break free and find a new way of thinking, you increase clarity. Clarity is not something that you reach and have from then on. It is an ongoing refinement of your picture.”

I read a quote today on a friend’s facebook page and really connected to it and so I think I will leave it with you today:

'When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step into the darkness, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen...There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.'

- Patrick Overton

Love to you,

Patty

Anger Management

2008-06-30T10:55:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

This week is for Sekhmet and although she represents Anger & Rage which can be scary for those of us who like everything to be “nice” – it is an important element to deal with – especially for women.

I watched The Incredible Hulk over the weekend – it certainly wasn’t the greatest movie, but I couldn’t help but think about it when I read through Sekhmet yesterday. By not expressing our anger productively, we end up turning into big green monsters and leaving dead bodies all around us (metaphorically of course!!) Finding ways to deal with the pressure, to alleviate the anger BEFORE we explode is key.

I look back on last week and in the words of U2 – “I got stuck in a moment” and I just couldn’t get out of it. I recognize that I got stuck in my anger and when you get stuck in your anger and don’t express it powerfully and productively – it can get messy, but as women, we tend to turn it inward and it then it can be dangerous.

I find that a sense of humor is KEY to dealing with life’s ups and downs as well as your anger. I’ve posted an image on my blog of a “love note” I shared with John over the weekend!

Well – this week is an inquiry into Anger & Rage and using Sekhmet as our guide, it will be safe and not scary. And essential, I might add as we stop the serial killers (metaphoric of course).

Look forward to your feedback.

Love and light,

Patty

Sekhmet: Anger & Rage

2008-06-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

I burn and fume

and shoot daggers from my eyes

I erupt and roar

(though you’ve not pulled my tail)

my edges are sharp

and I cut deep

my energy is strong and fierce

and my displeasure

needs to be expressed

Though sometimes mild

I can be very intense

Once incited

I am difficult to put out

I am always appropriate

always needed

Don’t try to get rid of me

I need to be acknowledged and heard

I am anger

Mythology:

Sekhmet (pronounced sek’met), the lion-headed Egyptian Sun Goddess, is known as the destructive aspect of the Sun. Vowing to destroy all humanity in a fit of rage, she went on a killing spree. She was stopped by the intervention of Ra, the high God, who put huge vats of beer mixed with pomegranate juice in her path. Mistaking it for human blood, Sekhmet consumed the drink and became intoxicated. When she woke up, her rage was gone. Red in this painting signifies Sekhmet’s scorching, smoldering nature.

Meaning of the Card:

Sekhmet leaps into your life to help you face your anger. Does anger, yours or someone else’s, make you feel uncomfortable? Do you fear your anger because you were taught anger isn’t nice? Or that expressing anger is ugly? Have you repressed or disconnected from it so much so that you don’t know how to express it now? Perhaps you’ve gone beyond anger to rage. Rage is accumulated anger gone out of control. Perhaps you’re in a slow boil all the time and don’t know how to take the pot from the fire. Sekhmet says our anger is part of our power as women. Don’t give away your anger. Learn to express it in a way that it can be heard. Learn to transform it so it empowers and energizes you. Your path to wholeness will be more vital when you make anger your ally.

Ritual Suggestion – Dancing with Sekhmet

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed and where you can make noise. You will need a drum or pillow or bataka bat (made of foam that is used to safely express anger and rage). You can dance or do this while sitting, whatever feels appropriate for you. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight. Take a deep breath and release it slowly on the count of eight. Take another deep breath and sense, visualize, or feel a beach. It can be a beach you know or one that you imagine. Take a slow deep breath, inhaling the smell of the sea and, as you release it, go three. Feel the hot sun on your skin and the cool breeze from the ocean. Call Sekhmet and ask her to be present to help you with and to witness your anger. Sekhmet appears and sits in front of you.

Ask yourself, “Where do I have anger?” and listen for the answer. (It can be a recent anger or a long-buried one.) Sekhmet tells you to search for your anger in a relaxed way, and assures you that if you call, it will come. When you have it, allow yourself to relive the incident in which you felt anger, while repeating the words, “I am angry.” Also say what you are angry about. Sekhmet witnesses your anger and says, “I hear you are angry.”

From your safe space on the beach, either sit or stand, but keep repeating the words, “I am angry”. If you have a drum, beat your feelings of anger on the drum. I fyou choose to beat a pillow or bataka bat, allow your body to feel the anger and express it. Move, vocalizew, dance, or do whatever is appropriate. Above all, allow yourself to feel your anger and express it. Know that it is safe to do so, that Sekhmet is witnessing your anger and loving you for it, that it is yours and you have a right to it. Press deeper into the anger until you feel done or until it changes into something else.

When you are finished, take a deep breath, inhale all the energy you have raised and transformed. Sekhmet tells you what a joy it is to have witnessed and held the space for you to express your anger. You feel energized and refreshed. You think Sekhmet and she asks you for a gift. You give it to her with an open heart, then she leaves. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, open your eyes. Welcome back!

(Stop) Shoulding Update

2008-06-24T09:47:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

My girl came out of surgery just fine yesterday – thank you for sending her love and light.

In honor of Oya and change, I wanted to give you an update regarding the commitment that I made last week to stop shoulding on John – since I recognized the vicious cycle living inside a "should" world is. And since I was rebelling against his should – why wouldn't he be rebelling against mine as well!?

The beginning of the week was challenging because John was traveling with an investor. I recognized that when things were even further out of my control – my need to should increased tenfold. But then he was home and I found myself relaxing a bit and getting centered inside of my commitment to figure out the requests behind my shoulding and I've got to tell you I feel like I'm married to a different man. He's of course the same guy, hasn't changed a bit – but suddenly the lenses that I see him through are a different color. Now don't get me wrong, he still gets on my nerves – I just feel like I don't need to spend the energy making him "get it".

An insight that I did have was that I felt like I needed to set myself up against all the women of history who fought for women's rights. So instead of a man in 2008 – John became a represenatative of all the men who take for granted the women in their lives, I was a representative of all the women who have fought for equal rights and our relationship was suddenly a battlefield of righteousness. When he left a dish on the table, suddenly I was back at my grandparent's house for Thanksgiving wondering why the boys were off playing while the girls were dutifully in the kitchen washing up. When he requested a glass of milk, I would look at him with contempt thinking that he had 2 perfectly good legs to get his own damn glass of milk, when he would do something impulsive, I was of course the wounded martyr always sacrificing for her family. The weight of the PAST – and boy it wasn't just my past that I was throwing in there – I had history inside of the relationship! It became very crowded. There's a big difference when a request for a glass of milk is just a nice thing to do for a fellow human being rather than some historical precedent that I need to beat out of this man I married. I think sometimes when we stop to think about it – we're not even fighting our fights – but the fights of our mothers, our grandmothers and the founding mothers of our world. I'm sure there are better ways to honor these women than fighting over a glass of milk.

So the past five days have been remarkable. And now, inspired by Rowena, when I feel my crankiness emerging, I can now give myself a 35 minute timeout (a minute for every year!) so I can get centered and rejoin my world more powerfully. Another thing – very simple – that has worked remarkably well for me this past week has been consciously enclosing things that I'm worried, stressed, or obsessing over into a box in my mind. I sit and visualize the thing I'm obsessing about (yesterday it was Ginny's health – I had convinced myself, for no rational reason, that she had died) and then I box it up – I covered all sides and I place it on the shelf. I was amazed the first time I did it of the physical relief I felt the second the cover went on. And it wasn't like I needed to use willpower to simply force it out of my head. The box can live there for as long as it needs to and maybe I'll do a cleaning once a month of the old boxes that I don't need anymore.

Patty's Challenge: What can you box up that you don't need to be spending time or energy on right now? Visualize placing it in a box (I was using a nice crate with a latch on it) and making sure all the sides are covered and placing it on a shelf.

Love to you,

Patty

P.S. I've shared one of my favorite authors with you – Sanaya Roman. Go to her website – you can download a series of 3-7 minute meditations from Orin for free. That is what I did during my timeout yesterday and it quickly shifted my energy.

Changes: Motherhood

2008-06-22T20:54:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

We woke with a scare this morning. Ginny hadn't been feeling well for several days – just not her tail waggin, vivacious self. Her appetite didn't change (she could always be found perched at the stove when we were cooking) she was going to the bathroom fine – but when she woke up this morning with a horrible discharge (I'll spare you the details – I'm sure you're grossed out enough) we woke the vet up (Sunday morning!!) It turns out that she has a uterine infection – which is apparently common in bulldogs – and the only solution was to get her spayed. John and I had been talking about the idea of finding her a mate at her next period and have a litter. Although we were disappointed that there wouldn't be little Ginnys running around (isn't she cute??) we were also relieved. No more periods, no monitoring a bulldog birth – which apparently is extremely challenging. On the way home from the vet, John turned to me and said – I guess the universe is telling us that we're not supposed to have babies, I corrected him…puppies you mean. Right…puppies.

As a married woman in her mid-thirties, I am asked at least once a week whether I have children. While I sometimes I like to think it's because I live in Costa Rica and women traditionally have babies fairly young, I know it would be the same in the states. And when I answer no – there is invariably a follow-up question of why not? Don't you want kids?

Sometimes I think of myself as a victim "How does this jerk not know that maybe I've been trying for years and simply can't have babies – how is this question supposed to make me feel??"

Other times I feel like I've got to defend myself "No, not yet, but we're trying!!"

My usual answer is "When it's time, it's time" (of course in my limited Spanish, I'm not sure it translates great!)

I suppose the truth would have to be "To be honest with you – I just don't know if I do…"

There's a whole flood of junky garbage that goes through the mind of a woman in her mid-thirties who's still not sure she wants (or can have) children. While I'm not obsessive about cervical fluid or temperature, we're actively seeing if it happens. I notice a lot of pregnant women and think longingly about having babies and then I see a mother schlepping her screaming brood around and am grateful that I'm not. Every month I get that twinge of hopefulness that I am – and can't help but be a bit disappointed when I'm not, and then I go about my month and love my freedom and how relatively low maintenance my dogs are. I've been on the "Am I pregnant?" websites and I've felt angry at my body for the few days of deception. I've felt the feeling of failure that my body hasn't produced even a glimmer of life, while those around me seem so fertile. I've felt the pressure of the clicking biological clock. I wonder if my choices, my indecision, my failure to log cervical mucus and Basal Body temperature, will seem like wasted time when I'm 40 and my chances are even slimmer? Will I be okay with the question – how come you don't have any kids, in 10 years? When the ticking gets louder in a couple years, will I head to a fertility clinic and start dosing myself with hormones? I don't know – I like to think I won't – that I'll accept that although I won't physically give birth in this life, that I am still Mama Spice (I once asked John what my Spice Girl name would be – he said Mama Spice…!) That I'll join the ranks of the many beautiful, talented, passionate, loving, giving, women I know, who have chosen for one reason or another not to have children.

The truth is, I just don't know. I like being Auntie Patty, Tia Linda, Uncle Patty (to Jonah!) to the kids in my life. I love hearing about their successes and seeing them grow up. I love their precociousness and their questions. I love their laughter and how they can fall asleep anywhere. And I really love going home and sleeping through the night without a bad dream, or a bedwetting, or an I don't know what's wrong, how can I make it better, why won't you just go to sleep?

I suppose in all of this, the most effective answer is – when it's time, it's time. And if it's not? Well, I certainly hope to have given birth to creation, to possibility, to miracles, to growth…

And so, while my baby is at the Vet having surgery tomorrow morning (send her light!!) which will end her chances of motherhood – I couldn't help but ponder my own.

Love to you,

Patty

Oya - Change

2008-06-22T19:59:00.001-07:00

I work in ways deep

ever present

always moving

I work in ways dramatic

with thrunder and lightning

sweeping and uprooting

I work in ways subtle

pushing and prodding

wearing and tearing

I swirl you and twirl you

I shock you and rock you

I clear the way for what is to come

I can be slight or stupendous

brief or long lasting

uproaring or uprising

What I can't be is ignored.

Mythology:

In Africa, Oya (pronounced oh-yah) is the Yoruban Goddess of weather, especially tornadoes, lightning, destructive rainstorms, fire, female leadership, persuasive charm, and transformation. She is also one of the most powerful of Brazilian Macumba deities. When women find themselves in hard-to-resolve conflicts, she is the one to call on for protection. Wearing wine, her favorite color and exhibiting nine whirlwinds (nine being her sacred number), she is depicted here with a turban twisted to appear like buffalo horns, for it is said she assumed the shape of a buffalo when wedded to Ogun.

Meaning of the Card

Oya storms into your life to tell you that change is calling, beckoning, and camping out on your doorstep. The way to wholeness for you lies in embracing change. Have you been too busy, too stressed, to attend to the changes needed in your life to nurture yourself? Is change so fearful a concept that you push it aside play hide-and-seek with it, or just ignore it? Have you arranged your life so perfectly that there is no room left for potential? Time for change. Time to sweep out, sweep up, and be swept away. Perhaps you are in the midst of the Change (menopause) and are having trouble accepting it. Resistance to change brings more persistent change. Choosing to dance with change means you will flow with it. Let yourself be unsettled, prepare yourself for growth. Enter deeply into change's chaotic dance and you'll be richly blessed with abundant possibilty. It is time for something completely different. Oya says that the earth must be dug up before anything can be planted and that change always brings you what you need on your path to wholeness.

Ritual Suggestion: Enlisting Change as Your Ally

This meditation can be downloaded for $2.00

Find a time and a olace when and where you will not be distrubed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Take another deep breath and this time release it while making the sounds of the wind. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, see, sense or feel yourself walking along a path. The day is beautiful, perfect for a walk. The path takes you up and the path takes you down. You follow the path, surrendering to where it leads you, feeling more and more relaxed, more and more at ease.

Now the path begins to climb steadily. Up, up, up you go. Soon you have to climb hand over hand. Still the path climbs upward. You finally pull yourself onto an immense plateau. You have arrived on the Plain of Vision where the winds blow cool, clear, and clean. Here you can see clearly what you need to see.

Allow yourself to experience the swirling of the winds as your vision clears. You call Oya and she comes. She scoops you up in a powerful embrace. She asks you why you have come. You aks her, "What can I do to enlist change as my ally?" and she answers. Envision the answer clearly in your mind, then thank Oya for her help. She asks you for a gift and you give it to her with gratitude and an open heart. Oya embraces you again and vanishes.

Now it is time to return. You climb down slowly and carefully. Down, down, down, feeling calm and refreshed. Down, down, down, feeling at ease and centered till you are once more on the path. The path takes you through and the path takes you around. You follow, feeling a sense of peace. The path takes you down and the path takes you up, as you feel more and more awake. Take a deep breath and, as you release it slowly, come back into your body. Take another deep breath and open your eyes. Welcome back!

A Little Tarot Fun

2008-06-19T14:06:00.001-07:00

Well, I'm channeling Shakti today – feeling the energy flow . I feel a little like my head is all over the place, not letting me focus on one specific idea, thought for longer than a few seconds. So rather than not sharing or scaring you with some disjointed rambling – I want to share one of my new favorite books with you.

I did a MAJOR clutter clearing a few weekends ago – went through everything – put everything into boxes and inventoried them. And I collected a bunch of books that I wanted to sell to Mora Books (a great used bookstore here in CR). Of course, I went in there with about 15, 20 books – the guy said 17,000 colones – about $34. Rock on! I figured I'd just pick up a few…I end up simply exchanging about 15 books for 5!! And at a used bookstore noless. ANYWAY…

I found this great book called Tarot in Ten Minutes by R.T. Kaser. He has about 30 different readings in the book and he breaks up the tarot into suits for specific questions. And he also uses numerology for a few of his readings. I feel like I've gotten a TON of insights over the past few days with the readings and I highly recommend. So - I'm going to share the first reading with you. It's based on numerology – you don't need a tarot deck – but if you have one, you might want to connect visually to the card.

"The reading: Who Am I?

The following cards will be used:

The Magician (I)
The High Priestess (II)
The Empress (III)
The Emperor (IV)
The Hierophant (V)
The Lovers (VI)
The Chariot (VII)
Justice (VIII or XI)
The Hermit (IX)
Wheel of Fortune (X)

How To:

In this reading, we will use the numbers associated with your birth date to determine the card that represents your general situation in this life, your Key Card or mascot. Here's how…

Simply add up the month, day and year of your birth, like this:

August 29, 1952 = 8 + 29 + 1952 = 1989

Then add up the result: 1+9+8+9 = 27

Now, reduce the number by adding it up once more. You should get a number of 10 or less: 27 = 2+7 = 9

If this step adds up exactly to 10, reduce it again to 1, only if the day of the month in which you were born is an odd number, leave it as 10 if the day on which you were born is an even number.

Now, take the card from your deck that signifies you. Look at it for a minute, then look up its meaning in the following Answer section. Just repeat the steps to learn about others.

The Answers

I The Magician. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who control their own destinies. Magicians have the ability to make things happen. If this is your Key Card, you are particularly good at influencing – even controlling – your own environment. You are capable of leading a highly directed, determined life by focusing your energy on achieving all the things that natter in this world: career and status, love and happiness, money and possessions, power and glory. If you are like most people, however, you will need to choose one of these areas to master. The choice is yours.

II The High Priestess. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who know without knowing. High Priestesses have the ability to know or feel things. If this is your Key Card, you are the kind of person who can trust your gut feelings, hunches, inner voices, and dreams. When in doubt you go with your instincts. You may have an uncanny sense of direction. You may even describe yourself as psychic. In general, you will feel your way through life as if you were navigating a familiar stream. The past, present, and future can click together for you, but you may need to strike a balance between body and mind (conscious and subconscious) in order to achieve your full potential.

III The Empress. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who are in touch with their environment. Empresses have the ability to create and influence the things around them. If this is your Key Card, things grow, develop, and mature under your careful attention. You are good at parenting, mentoring, coaching, and in other ways of bringing out the skills and talents of others. You may also be rather prolific yourself. You appreciate that there is an ecological balance to be maintained, that everything depends on everything else. In order to achieve your goals, however, you may have to wait a period of time for the things that you desire to come about.

IV The Emperor. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who are natural born leaders. Emperors have the ability to control things. They are decisive and authoritative. And they knowhow to get to the top. If this is your Key Card, you are the kind of person who likes to live according to the rules (which you help make). And, within this framework, you are extremely capable of making your own decisions. You will also decide things for others. They may respect, honor, and even obey your opinions. You like to rule the roost. But in order to achieve your full potential, you may have to temper your own temper. Learn to respect the opinions of those whose support you depend upon. And be ready to defend your territory.

V The Hierophant. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who have faith. Hierophants have the ability to believe in things. If this is your Key Card, your life is knit together by a highly organized system of beliefs. You may hunger after idealistic, patriotic, moral or religious ideas. You may have a strong sense of standards, ethics, and traditions. You may even require a rigid structure (or hierarchic scheme) in your life. To achieve your full potential, you need to dedicate yourself to pursuits that serve a higher purpose. This card can also indicate that you feel a need for public acceptance. You want to fit in. You want to belong.

VI The Lovers. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who are passionate. Lovers have the ability to care deeply about things. They have the ability to care about each other. If this is your Key Card, you are the sort of person who feels hopelessly attracted to someone else. This could mean that infatuations will be a common experience for you, or it could mean that you will have the great fortune to find true love in this life, and it will be "love at first sight." But beware, your true love may not be another person. It may, in fact, strike you as a deep, enduring passion for some kind of work , which you will pursue relentlessly. To achieve your full potential you must choose something that will love (or reward) you back.

VII The Chariot. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who are heroes. Charioteers have the ability to conquer things. They can do the impossible. If this is your Key Cad, you will know the thrill of victory in your life, like a surge of adrenaline. You may work long hours and appear to run on high-test, for you thrive on challenging situations and will stay up all night to complete projects. You will take your share of risks. It is not so much the fact that you are fearless (for you may desperately fear failure) but that you are relentless that distinguished you. You not only keep score but you like to overcome great odds, playing things right down to the wire. To achieve your full potential in this life, you need to strike a balance between self-confidence and winning strategies.

VIII Justice. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who are good critics. Justices have the ability to evaluate things. They can cut through the crap of this world and get to the point. They can see what is written between the lines. If this is your Key Card, you are a very insightful person, fair-minded, even-tempered, and a good listener. You want to hear both sides of a story before coming to your own conclusions. But with such a capacity for insight comes an obligation, too. TO achieve your full potential you may need to learn how to be forgiving.

IX The Hermit. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who have grown wise. Hermits have the ability to understand things. They are the loners of this world. If this is your Key Card, you may like to retreat to your study at night or get off to that cabin in the woods – not just to rest, mind you, but to be alone with your thoughts, even to meditate or pray. Your job in life is to hold up a light for others to follow. To achieve your full potential, you must come back from your hermitage eventually to tell others what you have seen, heard and learned.

X Wheel of Fortune. Look at your Key Card. This is the card of people who are fortunate. Wheel of Fortune people have the ability to benefit from change. If this is your Key Card, you may even feel as if Lady Luck shines on you. When things happen around you, it always seems as if it's for the better. You always seem to not only make it through the bad times, but to come out better off in the end. To achieve your full potential though, you may need to work on improving your ability to predict and anticipate when things are about to change…"

Let me know if you have any trouble with your Key Card – and try to spend less time wishing you had a different Key Card and more time seeing if there is a lesson in owning yours! (In typing this out – I was like, awe, I wish I was…!)

Love to you,
Patty

Mental Barriers

2008-06-18T10:20:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

So we've been talking about energy lately – and claiming more for ourselves by focusing more on what we can control and less on what everybody around us is doing wrong ;). The energy that this consumes – at least in my life – is huge and it keeps me from focusing on my own life (and what I get out of it is that I then don't have to take responsibility for my life because…"if you'd just straighten up, I could focus on my things!!") Anywho… my effort is to live more in the present, to live more in my life, to live more in what I can control and ultimately have more energy for myself. Suddenly – the mundane becomes a powerful action. Washing the dishes while bitching about this, that or the other not showing up exactly as you thought vs. washing the dishes – feeling the water on your hands, present to the shape of the soap bubbles in the sink, grateful for the warm water (or the dishwasher!). If a task like washing the dishes can be transformed…!!!

Yeah, yeah, yeah – easy said, not so easy done! And as I was trying to be present in my day yesterday (but willfully stuck in my funk) and cursing the fact that I chose this week not to criticize and should on John, I got this horoscope from dailyom.com:

"…It is possible for you to prevent your obligations from interfering with your well-being by building a figurative wall between them in your mind. Many people allow thoughts of their personal or professional responsibilities to occupy their thoughts even when involved in other unrelated pursuits. When a barrier exists between your survival concerns and matters of your individual evolution, you are free to focus fully on one or the other as the situation demands. Neither realm of your life will have the ability to invade the other or to become a distraction that prevents you from fulfilling your potential. Your thoughts will be yours to control at will. The worries associated with a particular duty won't encroach upon those that follow today when you erect a mental barrier between different areas of your life."

Mental barriers, huh? Well, it's worth a try – I want to keep the energy flowing and these concerns are like dams that impinge on the flow. I feel like I do a very good job of "getting off it" and putting things into perspective, but there always seems to be this energetic drip of preoccupation that keeps me from being completely present. Perhaps simply visualizing the preoccupation in a room by itself – allowing it to be there – allowing it to exist (I think sometimes pretending it doesn't exist is like inviting it to grow!) – but keeping it separate from my present.

Get your concerns out of your present and try visualizing the mental barriers today – let me know if it works.

Love to you,
Patty

Managing The Funk

2008-06-17T08:08:00.001-07:00

Waking up in a funk this morning – I decided to dissect it and try to figure out some strategies for getting out of it.

Funk:
A Definition

Confronted by disappointment, mismanaged expectations and quite possibly by things out of your control. You're heading into despair when things often seem insurmountable. Despair leads to inaction, causing stagnation.

If this is the definition of funk (and I am open to interpretations!!) then in the immortal words of Cher in Moonstruck how can we "Snap Out of It!" or my favorite – Knock it off?

Here are some suggestions:

Action inspires energy inspires movement forward. Sometimes any movement forward is exactly what you need to get out of a funk – which is a stagnation of energy. Make a phone call, write an email, identify a baby step toward a goal and take it.
Distinguish between disappointment and depression. Oftentimes I'll declare "I'm depressed" when I'm feeling low energy I can't quite identify when really, I'm disappointed by something or someone and generally the "what happened" is something that is out of my control.
Recommit to focusing on the things that you can control: Your thoughts, beliefs, actions and responses. Honor that Event + Response = Outcome. If you are unhappy with your outcome – the one variable you can control is your response. If the dog barks like crazy and puts you into a psychic tailspin – shift the response. The dog is barking because dogs bark. And remember the all important: He's just a dog. (or a 3 year old, or a 38 year old!!)
Watch your negative self-talk and actively turn your critic into a coach. Click here for more tools on how to do that and/or refer to Principle 32 in The Success Principles. I just spilled some milk and heard myself say "ass". Chill self! It's just some spilled milk. I'll be more careful next time!
Clear your clutter, pay special attention to:
1. The area you spend the most time in
2. Your work space
3. The space you are creative
4. The space in which you relax
Remember – clutter represents incompletes. Incompletes can create overwhelm which can lead to despair and we're back to inaction. Clutter clearing can be a good action item (see number 1). And while I am Queen of "I'll do it tomorrow" especially in relation to cleaning and organizing, five minutes at the end of the day can make huge difference come morning. There's nothing worse than a desk full of reminders of everything you didn't accomplish the day before. Clearing your space does NOT necessarily require a whole day (or week!!). Schedule 10, 20, 30 minutes a day and remember the 3 D's: Delegate, Decide, Dump.
Employ the five senses:
1. See: Put a flowering plant on your desk, fill blank walls with inspiring art, create a vision board of all the things you want to create in your life, look at people smiling…
2. Hear: Hear a child laugh (if you want to cheer up, click here for my favorite), listen to soothing music (or rock out!!), or rustle your windchimes.
3. Smell: Light some incense or aromatherapy or sage and let it wash over you. I also love going into coffee houses just for the smell of the coffee!
4. Taste: A Hershey kiss, a cup of hot tea or coffee, a sweet fruit, a refreshing glass of water with lemon.
5. Touch: Carry a smooth rock or piece of fabric, get a massage, or ask for a hug.
Being creative can help with all of the senses – start digging in the garden, paint a picture, write a poem, bake a cake, go dancing…there are so many ways to be creative…
Identify what you might be getting out of your funk. When we are on it or in a funk or angry at someone – there is usually something we get out of who we're being in the moment (stingy, angry, withdrawn, depressed). Identifying what you might be getting out of it (and then getting present to the costs) might help you snap out of it. Some possibilities:
1. Dominating (You better do what I'm telling you to do) / avoiding domination (You're not going to tell me what to do)
2. Being Right / Making someone else wrong
3. Avoiding Responsibility
Don't forget the costs:
1. Love / Intimacy
2. Self-Expression
3. Vitality
Write a Pobresita (poor little thing) letter. Be as dramatic and pathetic as possible. Why you are in this funk, how horrible your life is, etc. And then read it out loud in front of a mirror with as much energy as possible for as long as you can stand yourself.
Help someone in need. Not only do you feel like you've made a difference – you can put your own life into perspective. Helping a friend in need, giving a homeless person a blanket (or a fan – it's hot in the States everywhere, isn't it??), volunteer at an old folks home or battered women's shelter. You get the picture. You get to make a difference, step out of our own world and gain some perspective all at once.
Last but DEFINITELY not least: Gratitude, Gratitude, Gratitude. Write out (in detail) all the things you are grateful for. Whether you feel connected or not – we are constantly plugged in to one outlet or another. When we're in a funk, we connect energetically to the universal funk – or everyone else on the planet who is in a funk (who needs more funk energy??!). If you spend some time focusing on gratitude – suddenly your connected to universal gratitude. Which plug would you rather be hooked up to?

Well, I'd certainly like to hear your definitions of funk! And any more suggestions that you might have for getting out of one.

Love to you,
Patty

Energy For Me

2008-06-15T18:58:00.001-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I've been talking a lot lately about my waste of energy worrying about everyone else and taking care of everyone else regardless of the effect on me. I've also noticed that sometimes we tend to treat our closest relationships very differently than we would other relationships – we can be mean, judgmental, critical, harsh, cold, you get my drift. I'm not sure why that is, although I'm sure there are a ton of studies out there that will discuss the phenomenon.

Last week, I posted about not shoulding on ourselves – that the second we create the shoulds, ought tos, coulds, etc. that we immediately create a resistance to it. I notice it with myself and my negative self-talk – but also with the people in my life. The second I hear the word should – my fangs come out (although they will be masked by a nice smile!) Who wants to be told what they should be doing? It sucks. But I'm the first one to be telling John what he should be doing – sometimes on a minute by minute basis ;) and he does the same thing with me. Not only do his shoulds get me burning and I tend to waste a lot of energy, but so do the he shoulds. More than likely in an argument with him, I'm not upset about the content of the argument, but in how he presents his argument or how he speaks to me – because he SHOULD be talking to me differently, or presenting his argument differently. It turns into an ugly, vicious cycle and nobody wins.

The Law of Attraction states that what you focus on you tend to attract. I spend a lot of time focusing on how John SHOULD be. And while I think I am right in certain aspects – the fact that I am shoulding on him means that he'll never hear me. You know when your little brother or sister was bothering you as a little kid and your mom said – just ignore him/her. They craved the reaction that you gave them and when that reaction went away – suddenly the game of bothering you wasn't as fun. Sometimes I think that we do that with the people that we are the closest to – perhaps their reaction lets us off the hook in some way. Certainly by focusing on what someone else should be doing – you have less time and energy to look at your own life.

In my effort to enjoy Shakti to the fullest (make sure you check out the chakra orgasm meditation!!) this week, I am going to take on the following.

I know that John loves me – so when I hear (or perceive!!) the shoulds coming from his mouth – I'm going to transform them into love (remember – take a should and communicate the anger, fear, request and love to transform the criticism into coaching). I may ask if he has a specific request and see if there is something that I can honor.
I am going to give up shoulding on John – and when I feel a should coming on, I'm going to work through the anger, fear, request and love and see what I can request of John.
I'm going to give up thinking in always/never terms (he ALWAYS / he NEVER) because always and never are not the truth – he doesn't always speak to me jerkily and it's not like he never pays attention to my requests.
I feel like I have gotten into a habit of commenting (negatively) on a lot of things that John does and I think it is time to push the pendulum in the other direction. When he does something that bugs me, I'm not going to say anything (this will be my biggest challenge!)
Before we go to bed, I'm going to come up with at least 3 things I appreciate about him and I will share it with him.

Since the only thing I really have control over is my own self, I'm going to take this on and see how much more energy is available for me. And this will be great practice to bring to the rest of my life that might not be as "safe".

Are you in it with me? You don't need a significant other – perhaps a co-worker, sister, brother, mother, father? OR take on yourself.

Love to you,

Patty

Shakti - Energy

2008-06-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

_____________________________________________________________________

I am the ultimate source
dancing through all forms
I am the animating force
vibrating the world into being
I activate
invigorate
potentiate
Let me fill you
with cosmic ecstasy
Let me reconnect you
recharge you
renew you
I am the secret-bliss honey nectar
that snakes up your spine
connecting all your chakras
into one big orgasmic orgy
of power
vitality
ENERGY!!

Mythology:

In Hindu India, Shakti (pronounced shock’tee), the Goddess, is active, powerful, vital – the animating force of the universe. The masculine is the passive, inert, dormant force. Each Shakti has her God with whom she unites in sexual union. Without union, neither can do anything. To the Tantric mystics, the ultimate union with Shakti happens at the moment of death. Shakti, portrayed here seated within the luminous world egg, is protected by the serpent, kundalini, the emanation of her own divine energy.

Meaning of the Card:

Shakti explodes into your life to energize and vitalize you. The way to wholeness for you now lies in learning to work with Shakti: divine, cosmic, orgasmic Goddess energy. Have you been feeling tired? Do life and all its demands exhaust you? Do you keep giving your energy, your vitality, without taking in, recharging, revitalizing? Perhaps there is something you want to manifest but don’t feel you have enough energy to do it. Shakti says there is abundant energy available for you. All you need to do is learn how to connect with it.

Ritual Suggestion: Cosmic Chakra Orgasm
The following meditation can be purchased for $6.25 at the following site:
http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=61

Find a time and a place where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and, as you release it slowly, feel yourself pulling your stress and tension off over your head, as if it were a tight-fitting dress. Toss it away, far from you.

Continue to breathe in a relaxed and even way. Picture, sense, or feel energy vibrating in the core of the earth. Imagine a long hose from your vulva, extending down into the earth. When you inhale, you open the valves on the hose and earth energy comes pulsing up. Draw that energy up into your first chakra in a way that feels good. As the energy reaches your first chakra, it explodes into the color red, so that your first chakra is filled with spinning red energy. Take a moment to experience the feelings and sensations as your first chakra is filled with red vital energy. One sensation may be that you are sitting on a hose of continually flowing red energy that keeps pumping into your first chakra.

When ready, draw up the red energy from the first chakra to the second chakra where your womb is. Here the energy explodes filling your second chakra with vibrating, orange energy. Take time to experience the delicious sensations of having both your chakras filled with revitalizing energy.

Now draw the red energy up from the first chakra into the orange second chakra and up into the third chakra, which is located in your solar plexus. As the energy reaches your third chakra, it explodes into the color yellow, so that your third chakra is pulsing with electric yellow energy. Take time to enjoy having three chakras filled with invigorating energy.

Now feel the energy flowing up through each chakra to the fourth chakra, located in the middle of your chest roughly where your heart is. As the energy reaches your fourth chakra it explodes into the color emerald green, so that your fourth chakra is filled with vibrant emerald green energy. Take time to feel the pleasurable sensations of having four chakras filled with vital energy.

Feel, sense or see the energy moving through you to your fifth chakra at your throat. The energy reaching your throat fills your fifth chakra with electric blue energy. Take a moment to experience the pleasure of having five chakras filled with energy.

The energy oozes through you till it reaches your sixth chakra the place between your eyebrows of your “third eye,” where it explodes in the color purple. Allow yourself to feel the pulsing of energy in all six chakras.

The energy now slowly moves up through your chakras, building in intensity from the first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, till it reaches the seventh chakra located at the crown of your head, where it explodes into white iridescent light. You feel powerfully charged with energy. All your chakras are crackling and vibrating with delicious, pleasurable energy. Stay with this for as long as is appropriate for you. Be sure to drink it into all your cells.

Now, see, sense, or feel the energy of the universe. Is it hot and fiery, like the sun? or silvery cool like moonbeams? Or quiet and immense like the expansiveness of space? As you inhale, draw that energy into your seventh, or crown chakra. Feel the earth energy and cosmic energy make love in your crown chakra, filling that chakra with the joy of union.

Allow the exquisiteness of the cosmic energy to pour down into the sixth chakra, gently filling and caressing, penetrating and blending with the earth energy, until you feel the sixth chakra explode with the union of earth and cosmos.

Now the energy from the cosmos slowly and sweetly moves into the fifth chakra, where it combines with the earth energy. The cosmic energy moves into your fourth, or heart, chakra. There it combines with the emerald green earth energy, until both are exploding in the passion of their union and you experience bliss. The cosmic energy is now pulled into the third chakra where it unites with the earth energy, until both are swirling, twirling, whirling, doing their dance of love, and you are feeling ecstasy. The cosmic energy pours into the second chakra. It meets the earth energy and both energies make love until you are rocked with bliss. When the cosmic energy enters the first chakra and unites with the earth energy, there is an orgasmic explosion. You feel ecstatic. All your chakras have experienced cosmic orgasm and you feel energized, relaxed and totally refreshed.

When you feel filled, it is time to cover your chakras. Beginning with your seventh chakra, imagine a cap or lid being placed over the chakra to keep the energy inside you. After capping the seventh chakra, cap the sixth, then the fifth, fourth, third, second and first. Take a deep breath and open your eyes. Welcome back!

Perception - some insights...

2008-06-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Hopefully you all had a chance to do the perception exercise. If you haven't - do it now (it's only like 5 mins) and you can get to it by clicking here.

I think that perception plays a HUGE role in our experience of the world, our world and the people and events that happen in our world. Regardless of what you saw or didn't see, you can't underestimate the power of perception. I just wanted to share a few of my insights from the video:

1. When you are committed to seeing something a certain way - there are definitely some things that you're going to miss. If you go through life, like most people do, trying to be right, make other people wrong or avoid being made wrong (which is just another way of being right!) then of course your perception is going to be clouded. Experiences and people will fit into your world view and very often you will miss key things.

2. Most people who see this DO NOT see the most obvious thing. Knowing that can help us be more responsible in our communication and not make assumptions that everyone sees the same thing that we do. I heard of this activity at a seminar where the facilitator held up a piece of paper and asked the group what color the paper was. Green everyone shouted - but the leader said, I see yellow. But it is clearly green the audience argued - some people getting quite heated. I see yellow, the leader replied. This back and forth went on for a few more minutes and then the leader turned the paper over (to the side that they were looking at) and, sure enough, the other side of the paper was yellow. I see yellow. I also found it interesting that the leader used the words "I see yellow" and not "The paper is yellow" and yet what most people in the audience heard (since they were arguing so defensively) was that the paper was yellow.

3. I happened to see the obvious thing in the video - but not all of it. I was pretty surprised to see the extent of what I did miss. John didn't see it at all. It would be very easy for me to make this mean that I am more percetive than he is (even though of course it is true ;). But I would be fooling myself. We are all attached to our own stuff - which is what the exercise is about. I am AWESOME at giving advice and seeing where everyone else is stuck, but it isn't so easy to see it in my own life. I think that is true for most of us.

4. I consider myself to be very open minded and respectful about people's beliefs, etc. but there is of course a line in my comfort zone of beliefs and when that line is crossed, I can be pretty judgemental. I guess I have a problem when things are presented as TRUTH. Most of the time, but not all, this is based on some religious fundamentalism. I tend to close myself off and am not able to "hear" what they have to say - or "hear" it through my perception and file it away under crazy. I am curious to hear the end of the presentation in the video, because the facilitator specifically refers to science - and the tendency of science to be so focused in what they are looking for that they may also miss the most obvious. (For what I think is a great discourse between science and religion, check out Carl Sagan's book Contact - the movie barely scratches the surface). Think of how different the world would be if we all put down our version of TRUTH?

In honor of Rhiannon - keep questioning - especially question what it is that you might not be seeing.

Love to you,
Patty

What might you be missing

2008-06-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

This was forwarded to me and simply amazing. Because I don't want to give anything away, I am not really going to talk about it - but I think it is a lesson we should all learn from. The Power of Perception...

http://transformationteam.net/video/perceptual_experiment_tc

Enjoy,
Patty

Inner Critic / Inner Coach

2008-06-09T15:21:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I did this exercise over the weekend inspired by something in Jack Canfield's book, The Success Principles. I found it VERY helpful and encourage you all to do it!! I will paraphrase the exercise and share my own work below...

Let's try something on...we all know about that inner voice - the one constantly assessing and judging (yes, it's that one...). What if that voice that nagged and told you how stupid you were earlier was really just looking out for you and wanted the best for you? It might change the way you interacted with that little voice... Well take this on as a possibility. Think of a time when you were punished for something that you did - let's say running out into the street without looking both ways. So your mom or dad FREAKS out, runs after you, maybe you get a spanking or a time out or sent to your room to think about it. It is possible that your parent or guardian said something like "what were you thinking? I can't believe you did that. Get into your room and think about what you did for a minute." Now if you analyzed that statement - and TRULY got to the root of what your parent was trying to say or where he/she was coming from it would be a place of love, right? I was so afraid for you, please make sure you look both ways when you go out in the street, I love you so much I don't know what I'd do if you were taken from me. Just like your parent, who in the moment didn't express their love for you and perhaps only expressed the anger - your inner voice is the same way - it's just not as evolved and doesn't yet know how to powerfully communicate with you.

So the transformation was from anger to fear to a request to ultimately love. If you take a regular conversation that your inner critic may have with you at any given time during the day and then come from a place of anger, then express the fear, then come up with the requests (must be specific) and then come from love, you can actually transform that negative inner conversation with something positive. I did it over the weekend and it was really great and I'll share it with you below.

First come up with your negative self talk. Write it down...

My negative self talk:

You never finish anything you start.
You are lazy.
You have 1001 excuses why you aren't/can't be successful
You need to put yourself out there and do something in the world for yourself.
You rely on John too much and are constantly in his shadow.

Then, angrily express that negative self talk.

Anger:

I am so angry that you haven't made more of your life - you are so lazy - always filled with excuses about why you can't, can't, can't! You never finish what you start and are all talk and no action. You rely on John to do "it" for you or use him as an excuse not to. You're pathetic.

Next, express the fear behind the self-talk.

Fear:

I'm afraid that you're going to wake up one day and you're going to be 75 and you're going to wonder what your life was for. I'm afraid that you'll have a bunch of could haves. I just don't want you to regret a moment of this life.

Next, write out the requests that are behind the self-talk. Use - I want...

Requests:

I want you to start promoting your blog and sending out your writing samples to start getting noticed. I want you to get a business plan together and get it started. I want you to start inviting people to participate in your community network and begin to generate excitement around the idea. I want you to empower and enroll the people in your life to support you to make this happen and have specific goals and results in mind. I want you to attend at least one networking event a week. I want you to quit your job at Pro Language and focus your time and attention finding something that utilizes your talent. I want you to set up a supportive space in your house for creation and I want you to think of how you can do an online WE group.

Finally - express the love that is ultimately behind this negative self-talk.

Love:

You are one of the most powerful people you have encountered. You have a gift and I've seen it in action. You deserve your own happiness, your own success, your own money. YOu are brilliant, loving and creative and other people deserve to receive the gifts you have to give. I want you to be happy and fulfilled.

Going through this exercise and actually writing it out was SOOOOO helpful for me. Because I really struggle with making decisions and actually considering my needs and not everyone else's in my life - I was able to get to the core of a lot of things that have been going on for me and get that this self-talk really did have my best interest in mind! If you know that it is coming from a place of love, the next time you find yourself being berated after an event about how you could have done it better - simply ask what the advice is - "I know you're just trying to make it better for the next time - I did my best today - what suggestions do you have for me?" And then WRITE THEM DOWN!!

I'm QUEEN of reading about great exercises and not doing them - and then even writing about them to you for you to do them (but still not doing them myself!!!) What I'm getting is that it only works if you work it. Try the exercise. You might just learning something about yourself.

Love to you.
Patty

Rhiannon - Doubt

2008-06-09T15:11:00.000-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

___________________________________________________________________

I wasn’t certain
after all, my face had blood on it
all fingers pointed to me
could I have killed him?
my infant son
my own
in my sleep
I was accused
and found guilty
and I doubted myself
for seven long years
I played horse to my lord husband Pwyll’s guests
carrying them into court
carrying them out again
and the times were many when I doubted myself
doubted along with all the other humans
that because I was from the Other World
anything was possible

Mythology:

The Wels horse Goddess of the Underworld – Rigatona, or Great Queen – Was Rhiannon’s (pronounced ree-ah’nin) original name. Her story was reduced to something of a fairytale, just as her name was changed from Great Queen. Though not human, she married Pwyll, a mortal, and bore him a son who disappeared at birth. The attendant maids smeared the blood of a puppy on Rhannon’s face and accused her of eating her child. Rhiannon was sentenced to carry all her husband’s guests on her back. When her son reappeared after seven years, all lived happily ever after.

Meaning of the Card:

Rhiannon gallops into your life to tell you how to work with doubt. To doubt someone or something when your instincts are giving you warning signals is healthy. To spend time doubting yourself is self-negating and not very helpful. The best way of working with self-doubt is to turn it into self-questioning. Self-doubt leads you nowhere. Self-questioning gives you answers. Do you get stuck in doubt and let it turn your optimism into despair, your confidence into low self-esteem, your vitality into sluggishness and procrastination? Does doubt align itself with your fears to keep you from succeeding? Do the doubts of others shipwreck your dreamboat? Perhaps when the outside world is concerned you need to exercise a bit more skepticism, rather than trusting blindly. Rhiannon tells you not to let doubt erode your sacred self. Allow yourself to question rather than doubt so that you can gain the answers you need to continue on your path to wholeness.

Ritual Suggestion: Doubt Alchemy
You can download this meditation at the following site for $3.50

http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=59

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Take another deep breath and exhale all your stress and tension through your nose, as if you were a whale spouting water. Take another deep breath and, as you release it see, sense, or feel a tree. It can be a tree you are familiar with or one that exists only in your imagination. Take a deep breath and, as you release it, stand in front of the tree. Reach out and feel the bark of the tree. What do the leaves look like? Now allow your body to turn to water and let yourself rain into the earth. Feel yourself being absorbed into the roots of your tree.

Now you are traveling down, down, down, deeper and deeper and deeper. It feels safe and comfortable, warm and cozy, as you go down, down, down. Feeling more and more relaxed as you go deeper and deeper and deeper. You see a rider on a white horse. It is Rhiannon and you ask her to stop. She stops, dismounts, and walks up to you. You tell her you need her help to transform your doubts and she agrees to help you. You tell her your first doubt and she puts it into the form of a question. You answer the question, then tell her your second doubt and so on until you have given Rhiannon all your doubts and she has transformed them all into questions, which you have answered. You thank her for her help and she asks you for a gift. You give her what she asks for with an open heart. Rhiannon then mounts her horse and gallops away as you return to the tree root.

Entering the root you travel up, up, up, feeling confident, secure and clear. Up, up, up, feeling energized, refreshed, balanced. Your each the trunk of the tree and pop out of a branch, landing on the ground in front of the tree. Take a deep breath and, as you exhale, come back into your body. Take another deep breath and, as you exhale, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Guilty Stagnation

2008-06-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

Apparently somewhere along my life’s journey, I decided that it was up to me to make sure that everyone was taken care of. And when someone isn’t taken care of - regardless of my ability to control the situation – I feel guilty. And when in the process of making sure I am taken care of, someone’s needs aren’t met – I feel even more guilty.

Yesterday John and I were out of the office at several meetings. We had a conference call with a group from the US and because we would be out of the office, we weren’t able to make international calls and requested that our partners conference us in. At 11am, we had pulled over and were waiting for their call. It became clear that they weren’t going to conference us in (they also apparently have difficulty calling internationally.) After about a minute of frustration and crankiness, John was over it – but I couldn’t seem to stop obsessing. I started thinking of all the things that we coulda, woulda, shoulda done differently to make sure that we were on the call. After awhile or realizing that I was the only one at the table obsessing (and this has been something I’ve been trying to actively investigate lately) I asked John what was up – why was he calm and collected and I was obsessing (it wasn’t even my call!!)?

He said simply “it all boils down to confidence. When I was in the shower this morning I made a decision that this meeting across town was not one that I should miss and I decided then that I wouldn’t be in the house to be able to make the call and I requested that my partners conference me in. If they decide not to conference me in, then it means that they didn’t need me on the call afterwards – or that I can fill in some blanks at a later time – or perhaps they’ll reschedule the call.” Duh…??!!! But in living it – it’s definitely not that easy for me.

I suppose that it goes back to that issue of guilt…I happened to be carrying around Jack Canfield’s book and looked Guilt up in the index and it showed up in a chapter titled “Transform your inner critic into an inner coach”:

“Guilt happens when you think words such as should, must, ought to or have to. Here are a few examples: I ought to spend more time studying for my bar exam…I should spend more time at home with my kids…I have to exercise more. As soon as we feel like we should do something, we create an internal resistance to doing it.

“You will be more effective if you replace guilt-tripping with phrases such as I want to…It supports my goals to…It would be smart to…It’s in my best interest to…Guilt is never productive. It will stand in the way of achieving your goals. So get rid of this emotional barrier to success.”

This whole idea of making sure others are taken care of regardless of how it leaves me reminds me of an article I read a few years ago about parents who put their children’s needs above their own or their spouse. Ultimately when you continue to do that – what is left to “give” to your children is less than because you are depleted. You are actually jipping your kids of your full self when you put their needs ahead of your own. They went on to say that it should be Self – Partner/Spouse – Kids. (Obviously if your kid has a pencil sticking out of his neck or something and it happens to be during your meditation time…you know what I’m saying…;)

Anywho…I’ll leave you with a quote and a challenge:

I will not should on myself today
Seen on a poster

Love to you,

Patty

Increase the Flow

2008-06-04T20:27:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I really enjoy Jack Canfield's monthly seminars - mostly because they're free - but in all seriousness - I get out of my head and he always has the most unique perspective on questions.

One question today was about clutter and how to get rid of it.

Clutter essentially represents something that is incomplete or an unmade decision. For most of us, we can just look at our desks (or cars, or closets...) Things get piled up instead of what Jack called - the 3 D's - Delegated, Decided or Dumped. It is our BELIEFS that keep the clutter in place. Beliefs about lack and scarcity can have us hold on tight to our possessions and our clutter. Or how about "I don't know enough"?? That one hit me! Piles of books, magazines, articles to read - it all becomes a distraction, keeping us from truly being successful. (on any given day you can find 3 open books on my desk of things that if I only read, I'll have this insight that will help me get started...!!

Think of energy like a river - or blood through our veins. If that flow gets interrupted - the river stops flowing, the blood stops flowing and there is the possibility of disease or death. The same is true for energy - and clutter is like a blood clot, blocking the flow (of life force, of ideas, of new opportunities or new things.)

We have so much in our lives these days that keep us distracted and keep us from not being present. Email, voicemail, Facebook, Myspace, television, the news...When do we just be??Imagine sitting in a silent, empty room - alone with your thoughts - now think of yourself at your desk - do you have the space to think?

In addition to connecting with the belief that is keeping your clutter in place and the incompletes that you are allowing to distract you (try delegating, deciding or dumping), here are some practical clutter clearing applications:

1. The MTO Approach (Minimum, Target, Outrageous). Think of a task and then write down three milestones. For instance, de-cluttering your garage: Minimum - Spend 1 hour going through the toolbox; Target - Spend 5 hours organizing the boxes; Outrageous - Take everything out of the garage, scrub the floors, paint the walls, go through every box and put it all back neatly. Because you have it all written down ahead of time, the momentum you create in getting started could lead to the Outrageous!
2. For everything you bring into the house, let two things go. If you go out and buy a book, give two books away.
3. Schedule the time to go through your clutter space instead of waiting for "someday".
4. Get a partner to challenge you. YOU are ATTACHED. They are not.
5. Enroll people to help you sell stuff on Ebay, or a garage sale or get stuff fixed that is broken.
6. Get boxes and as you are organizing, write whatever you place in a box onto an inventory sheet so that if you need something, you don't have to dig through the box, you can simply refer to the inventory sheet. If at the end of a year, you haven't looked in a box - let it go.
7. Acknowledge that you wear 20% of your clothes about 80% of the time. You don't have to keep that shirt that never fit right or the outdated shoes.
8. Ask the questions: "Why am I keeping this?" and "Can I replace it?"
9. Check out the book Organizing From the Inside Out by Julie Morganstern.

Happy de-cluttering!!

Love to you,
Patty

To Say or Not to Say? That is the question...

2008-06-03T20:42:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I've always wanted to be one of those people who rarely opened her mouth, but when she did the room was so silent a pin could drop. Instead, I find myself tripping over what I want to say, not being clear and fighting to be heard in some of the most mundane conversations. I also wish I had the power to tell people off that leaves them feeling reproached, but grateful for it.

I was with John and our friend Antonio the other day and we came across a house for rent and decided to go check it out. The landlord lived next door and as we got out of the car and we introduced ourselves, she looked at Antonio (who is Dominican) and asked if he was our taxi driver. I was embarrassed for her - because, really - does it matter? John was quick to say - no, Antonio is a great friend of ours, and she replied Oh, well most people become friends with their taxi drivers. In that moment, I knew that there was no way in hell that I was ever going to give this woman any money, let alone be subjected to her as a neighbor. I wanted to tell her off right there - say - hey, thanks for your time, but you've just offended a dear friend of mine - once as perhaps a stereotypical mistake, but the second time?? We're not going to rent from you - have a nice life. Instead, I went along with the little tour of her house and although she didn't say anything as offensive, she was just not likeable. What is WORSE was that I was so aware of my disdain, that I began overcompensating and being overly generous in my communications with her - almost being accomodating.

I really suffer over delivering communications with people - I become way too concerned with how the message will land, how the other person is going to feel, taking the time to stand in the other person's shoes. I either don't want to be confrontational, or I don't want to sound petty. Ultimately, I want to make sure the other person is taken care of, to the extent that my world is not taken care of.

It seems like those people (in the movies) who are thoughtfully listened to respond to problems with quotes or riddles. Perhaps I need to study my quotes or lines from the Bible or something. Maybe I'll start to speak like Yoda.

I suppose it would be appropriate to end with a quote:

Abraham Lincoln once said "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

Love to you,
Patty

Return of the Wanderer

2008-06-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I have been wandering lately lost in my own head, not quite sure how to put what I've been experiencing into words - not sure if I still will be able to. I suppose it is connected to this week's goddess, and the idea of grief. I suppose what I have been grieving isn't a loss as we we would normally think - the loss of a loved one, of a relationship...I feel like I'm grieving my expectations of where I should be, what I should be experiencing. I feel like to overlook the effect that expectations might have on us is to overlook a huge source of grief.

A few months ago I signed up to Facebook and for the most part it has been a lot of fun connecting and reconnecting with people in my life. Well this guy that I graduated high school with "friended" me (for my high school friends, email me if you'd like to find out who, but since most of you don't know him and since this is posted online, I will not include his name.) I always felt an affection for this guy, but he was very awkward in high school and didn't have many friends. When he contacted me, I immediately sent him a message (Facebook is weird in the sense that you can just "friend" someone without any note of hello.) And it was very good to hear back from him, but I was pretty sure that not a whole lot had changed since high school - BUT that is really my assumption that I'm basing on 2 paragraphs.

I couldn't help but start to think about this kid - from what I remember, he was brought up by his sister - I feel like his parents weren't in the picture. I don't think he was the sharpest nail and he was quite socially awkward. From his profile, it didn't look like he went to college, but I was really pleased to see that he had moved to Chicago from our tiny town. And then I got to thinking about the distribution of "gifts" in this life. And why this kid seems to have grown up with what I perceive to be very few "gifts" (I am making some major assumptions here) a solid family life, good looks, above average intelligence, a college education, lots of friends, a support system. While I seem to have so many. And this kid, despite the odds, made it out of my hometown and is living in Chicago and I couldn't help but question what I have done with my gifts. (I'm not fishing for compliments here - I know I am a great person that makes a contribution). If I really sat back and assessed it, I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking about what I don't have, comparing myself to others who seem to have more gifts than me, comparing myself to others who I percieve are doing more with their lives than I am, wondering why I haven't accomplished what I feel like I should be accomplishing, etc. etc. I mean, honestly - if I spent that time and energy actually focused on some goals, I would be changing the planet!

But I couldn't help but feel this sense of grief - at what could have been. At what I would be doing only if__________ (fill in blank). And then comparing myself to this guy who despite his lack of gifts seems to be completely lit up about his life in Chicago.

I'm not sure what the answer is - but I know it has less to do with what society or family or friends or whoever thinks I should be doing, being, having and more the pressures I have put on myself. I think the answer is simply in plugging in - to the beauty of the world, to friends, to community, to spirit. And so, I return from the wandering - to plug into my favorite community of powerful Goddesses.

Love to you,
Patty

Coatlicue - Grief

2008-06-02T08:14:00.000-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

_____________________________________________________________________

With my head heavy with loss

with my eyes blinded by tears

I wander

unable to rest

unable to find ease

I am dry

my bones

are dust in the desert sun

my heart

ripped out

lies broken on the ground

each step I take in living

tramples it anew

each breath I take in living

ruptures my wounds

how can I bear the unbearable

how can I survive the insurmountable

will my sorrow ever end?

will my loss ever be filled?

will my longing ever cease?

Mythology:

Coatlicue (pronounced co-at'le-kew), or Serpent Skirt, is mother of the Aztec deities. She gets her name because she wears a skirt made of swinging rattlesnakes. She is worshiped as earth mother and life-and-death mother. She found some white-plumed feathers one day and, placing them on her breast, became pregnant. When the other Gods, her children, discovered her pregnancy, they swore to kill her to keep er new offspring from supplanting them. Only her beloved daughter, Coyolxauhqul, the Moon Goddess, warned her mother. Coyolxauhqul was decapitated by the Sun god and the grieving Coatlicue placed her daughter's luminous head in the sky.

Meaning of the Card

Coatlicue is here to help bring you face-to-face with your grief. She is here to tell you that there is no way around grief, there is no place you can hide from grief. The way to wholeness lies in going through your grief. Have you been afraid to face the pain that accepting grief and going through the grief process will bring? Have you been hiding from grief, pretending you are really okay? Perhaps you fear the grief is so great that you will remain in it for the rest of your life. Have you done some of your grieving, but not all of it, so that it catches you unaware in odd moments? Perhaps you are staying in a situation you need to leave, but fear the grief that leaving would engender. It is imperative for your healing process that you grieve. It is time to wail and keen and moan. It is time to ask for support from friends and family. Life is about loss and loss is part of life. The seasons change and all is in a state of transition. Even grief, if fully faced, will finally lesson. In time you will feel stronger and more alive. One day your wounds will fade to scars. Remember that your process takes as long as it needs to take and that everyone's time of grief is different. Coatlicue tells you to feel the grief so the healing can come.

Ritual Suggestion: Drumming Your Grief

You will need a drum with a beater. Do not use your hands, as you could hurt them or, to protect them, not go fully into the emotion.

Find a time and place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit comfortably with your spine straight. Take a deep breath and release it. Let everything go. Take a deep breath into your womb, the center of your body, and release it. When you feel centered and relaxed, give yourself the space and permission to open to your grief. Find the place in your body where you are holding grief. Is it in your heart? in your lungs? in your solar plexus? If you are visual, open yourself to let images come to you. If you are kinesthetic, allow your body to feel the grief.

This can be a recent grief of a past one. A grief that was never acknowledged or a grief that was only glanced at. You may find that once you open to grief, many griefs will come flooding into you. Or you may find it hard to grasp. Let what comes up, come up, without censoring, without judging. Just accept.

Once you begin to experience the grief, you are ready to drum. It is not important how you sound. It is important that you make sounds. Allow your own grief rhythm to be expressed. Allow yourself to vocalize. Give yourself permission to move or dance or go crazy with grief. Do whatever you need to do. The more you can involve yourself, the more profound and satisfying the experience will be. Let yourself howl and moan and keen and cry. Perhaps your sounds and rhythm will evolve into a specific song that you can sing whenever you need to grieve. Perhaps it will be different for you each time. Do whatever is appropriate for you.

Keep drumming the grief until it changes to something else. Keep going deeper. Ride the frief until it transforms. If this is not the time to do all your grieving, just get your feet wet in the waters of grief now and do more later. Do what is appropriate for you.

When you have drummed your grief and it has transformed, or when you feel you have done what is appropriate for you, put the drum aside. Take a deep breath and release it slowly, inhaling the energy you have raised. Give thanks and praise

Embracing Fear

2008-05-19T05:44:00.000-07:00

Dear Goddesses,

I suppose there is no mistake that last week got away from me since Kali was the next Goddess in line! Ah, fear...Avoid, pretend it's not there, work around it (but not through it) make excuses, justify, etc. It's just exhausting. Kali is here to challenge us, not to frighten us, for many of us have become complacent in our lives, our boxes, our "limitations". Kali will grant you your greatest wish, but you must make a sacrifice in return - it could be free time, or a relationship that isn't working, a secure job...I think with complacency, what we fear the most is the potential mess it would make in our lives - however in the long run, complacency actually creates bigger messes, that one way or another we will be forced to clean up. Many people wait for ugly divorces or disease in order to clean up the messes. What is it that keeps us from living our best life every minute of the day?

I don't know if it's a function of the 30's, but lately I've been feeling this itch that I should "be somewhere." Maybe it's the biological clock thing, maybe nostalgia - that I can relate to things in the past in multiple decades, wondering whether my high school self would be proud of what I have accomplished. I'm not sure where it is that I'm "supposed" to be or what I am comparing my accomplishments (or lack thereof) to - but I am clear that this "itch" doesn't allow me to be completely present in the moment and ends up becoming a distraction to the real change that is possible if I would allow myself to truly be challenged.

Patty's Challenge: What is one area of your life that you are being complacent in? Be willing to take it on and invite Kali in. We can kid ourselves that it's not the right time. I suppose on one hand, the timing is never "perfect" and yet on the other, it always is.

Love to you,
Patty

Kali: Fear

2008-05-18T11:13:00.000-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

___________________________________________________________________

I am the dance of death that is behind all life

the ultimate horror

the ultimate ecstasy

I am existence

I am the dance of destruction that will end this world

the timeless void

the formless devouring mouth

I am rebirth

Let me dance you to death

Let me dance you to life

Will you walk through your fears to dance with me?

Will you let me cut off your head

and drink your blood?

then will you cut off mine?

Will you face all the horror

all the pain

all the sorrow

And say “yes”?

I am all that you dread

all that terrifies

I am your fears

will you meet me?

Mythology:

Kali (pronounced kah’lee), the Hindu triple Goddess of creation, preservation and destruction, is the animating force of Shiva, the destroyer (Lord of the Dance). She is the insatiable hunger of time that births then devours. Skulls, cemeteries, and blood are all associated with her worship. Kali’s energy is uncontrollable. After killing two demons, she got drunk on their blood and began dancing on their dead flesh. She danced herself into a frenzy until she realized she almost danced Shiva to death.

Meaning of the Card:

Kali has begun her dance in your life to tell you it is time to face your fears. All that is lurking ominously, either buried deep in your inner darkness or close by, needs to be stared in the eye and brought into the light of consciousness. Are your fears serving you by warning you about dangerous places, things, or people? Or do your fears prevent you from dancing your dance living your life, creating with Creation? Kali comes to tell you that your dance is needed as part of the whole Dance of Creation. Wholeness is nurtured when you reclaim the pieces of yourself that you’ve given over to fear. Most fears are formless. By naming and witnessing the fear, you gain power. Wholeness is created when you learn to acknowledge your fears and walk through them.

Ritual Suggestion: Meeting Your Fear

You can download this meditation at the following site for $3.00 http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=49

Find a time and place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. When you feel ready, take a deep breath and release it, letting everything go. Breathe in and let your body relax. As you breathe out, drop your body like a suit of silk clothes, letting it lie in a pool around you. Place your hand over your heart so that you can feel the rhythm and pulse of your heartbeat. Let the rhythm of your breath slow down as you breathe in and out, listening to your heartbeat. Take a deep breath and, as you exhale, see yourself standing inside your heart. It feels very comfortable.

There is a path behind your heart known as the “hidden path”. Step onto that path. The path takes you up and it takes you down. The path takes you over and it takes s you under. On the path you experience all you need to experience and you see all you need to see. The path begins to climb gradually up, up, up. Now the path has become steep and you are required to climb hand over hand until you reach a ledge. You pull yourself up onto the ledge and slowly stand up.

You are now on the Plain of Vision, where the winds blow cool, clear, and clean – where you can see all you need to see. Take a deep breath and inhale the clarity of the Plain of Vision.

You are now ready to call your fear. You call your fear and it comes. When you meet your fear, ask its name and it will tell you. What does it look like? Notice any feelings you are having and breathe into them. Your fear asks you for something and you give it freely.

It is now time to return. Ask your fear to accompany you and abide by its decision. Take another full, deep breath of the clarity of the Plain of Vision. Return to the ledge and begin the climb down, down, down. The path takes you down and it takes you under. You are feeling refreshed and revitalized, feeling light and buoyant, as you return on the hidden path that lies behind your heart.

You approach your heart and step into it, experiencing the pulsing of your blood. Take a deep breath and, when you exhale, you are back in your body. Take a deep breath and, when you exhale, if ready, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Juicy Words...

2008-05-08T22:12:00.000-07:00

Dear Goddesses,

So - I have to share a funny story that I think is PERFECT for our week on sexuality...

I've started teaching these English classes here and grammar has NEVER been my favorite, and the book can get boring, especially for these one on one classes that I'm teaching. So I grabbed this baggie of juicy words that I had made for work with my women's group and my altered book project and I have my students (they're all in their 40's and 50's) pick a juicy word and then give a little impromptu speech about themselves using the word. I play along as well and usually go first to model a speech. So today, Eduardo and I pick our words and I see his eyes perk up and giggle. I figured he got stuffed animals or maybe something girly. So I give my speech on "voice" and it's his turn. His cheeks get bright red and he says that he knows what the word means, but he doesn't know how to use it in a speech about himself. You'll never guess what word he chose...

VAGINA!!!

Oh my gosh, I just about died. Needless to say I let him pick another word!

So, onward to the weekly challenge - and I have a PERFECT creative project...

Patty's Challenge: Taking a cue from the words chosen tonight from myself and my new best pal Eduardo - we are going to give VOICE to VAGINA!

Create your own vagina monologue. What kind of voice would your vagina have? What would your vagina say to the world?? Write it, perform it (share it if you dare!) And for those of you without a vagina - write an homage to one (it can be the one you came from, the one you are hopefully keeping satisfied or the in general vagina).

Have fun!

Love to you,
Patty

"Feeling" Sexy

2008-05-08T13:35:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

So I was on taking the bus to a class I am currently teaching down here in Costa Rica and I was feeling particularly uncomfortable. It was especially hot and I had on pants that didn't fit quite right and I was wearing real shoes instead of my trusty flip flops and I was just uncomfortable. Being one of the only blondes in the country (it feels like it sometimes) and six feet tall (I'm at least a head taller than the average Costa Rican), I tend to stand out.

Well, yesterday I wasn't really looking for any attention - I was uncomfortable, I was hot, I was feeling fat and I just wanted to get to my destination. The truth was, I wasn't feeling sexy, sexual - hell, not even the least bit attractive. And instead of owning the attention that I did get - as a big beautiful blonde (I went for the alliteration!) it just made me feel more uncomfortable.

Now, I happen to believe that beauty has more to do with state of mind than it does with individual features. I don't think that half of the super models that I see are beautiful - and they are pretty much judged by their features - and I can remember countless times being on the subway in NY and being totally inspired by the confidence in a woman who didn't fit into the beauty checklist. It was that confident state of mind that magnified her beauty. So - when we don't "feel" sexy, pretty, beautiful, deserving - it's really just a trick - a block that we've set up for ourselves. A momentary trick mirror. Not "feeling" it just means that you aren't currently accessing your sexy state of mind.

I talked before about the concept of filling our well - and the truth is we don't need to fill it, because that well inside of us is always flowing - it's simply whether we are plugged in to its abundance. I think it's the same with beauty and sexiness. If you're not "feeling" it, you're simply not plugged in - because accessing your beauty, your sexuality is all about plugging in to that well. It's just a block to keep you from being as powerful (an sexy!) as you were meant to be.

So the next time you aren't "feeling" sexy - think about what you would need to do to plug into what is already within you. It does not require a new wardrobe or hairstyle, etc. I mean, a shower couldn't hurt ;) but whatever you have within you is all you need.

Patty's Challenge: Connect to your inner sexy - whether you're "feeling" it or not.

Love to you,
Patty

Failure to Please

2008-05-07T11:21:00.001-07:00

Hello All,

I listened to Jack Canfield's monthly teleseminar today and felt compelled to share his answer to a question that I am definitely struggling with at this time.

The question was related to finishing projects - the person who asked said that she gets about 90% finished and then loses interest and doesn't finish. I certainly can relate, although sometimes I feel like I get 30% there and then quit!!

He said that he integrated an exercise from Werner Erhard who inspired the programs of Landmark Education. Within our first six years, something happens to us and we make the decision "I can't win". (He told a story of when at 3 yrs old he did this great drawing that he was so proud of and showed his parents, who just fawned over the picture - told him how great it was. The next morning, seeing some of his pictures on the refrigerator and knowing that was where good art hangs, he took some magic markers and on the wall next the fridge, started drawing this beautiful picture of the ocean - totally self-expressed...Of course his father finds him using magic markers on the walls and flips out and sends him to his room and in that moment, as a confused 3 year old - he decided that he couldn't win - he obviously didn't have the distinction that the wall wasn't an appropriate place to draw on - he just saw that in one moment creating a picture had made his parents happy and in the next, it had made them miserable.)

So we all have this experience - this time in our lives when we decided "I can't win". And since no one wants to be a loser, we came up with some strategies on how to avoid losing and there are specifically 8 strategies that we use to avoid losing. Be honest and see where you fit!!

1. Don't play. I can't lose if I don't actually play the game.
2. Quit if it gets too hard. Just pick up your ball and go home!
3. Destroy the game. Kids do this all the time in a literal sense. I can remember many a monopoly board all over the place.
4. Keep others from winning. Terrorists, sabotaging someone else's win...
5. Become the problem. If I suddenly need to be cared for, I can keep others from winning and have an excuse to avoid losing.
6. Be perfect. If everything needs to be perfect, then I am constantly stressed about having everything perfect, that even when I do win, I don't.
7. Be the judge. If you are the critic, you don't actually have to make a movie, you can just assess everyone else's movies.
8. Never finish anything. That way I can't be judged.

Patty's Challenge:
To powerfully get beyond these limitations, think back to the earliest time (generally from 0 - 6) that you had the experience of a failure to please. You actually want to get back to that moment, and experience those powerful emotions, reconnect to those feelings and then in that moment, re-decide the outcome. Jack's: "it wasn't about me and that I couldn't win - I realize that my parents were trying to be perfect and so I couldn't please them in that moment, but it didn't have anything to do with me."

I encourage you all to take advantage of Jack Canfield's free teleseminars the first Wednesday of the month - you can register at www.askjackcanfield.com and if you want to hear Jack describe the failure to please exercise, you can access the archives to today's teleseminar for $10 at www.askjackcanfield.com/archives.

Here's to finishing...

Love to you,
Patty

P.S. One other thing that he mentioned which I found fascinating was that there are apparently studies out there that prove that one hour of inner work (visualizing, meditation, affirmations) equals 7 hours of external effort. Just a thought when you are creating your priority/to-do lists...

Sexuality: The beginning

2008-05-06T14:38:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

When I was in 3rd grade, I fell hard for Brett Reinhard. There's a whole story with a note professing his love to me which I'm pretty convinced Sherri Yearton manufactured, but I fell hard. Suddenly, I was completely aware of the differences between boys and girls (I mean I wasn't mentally challenged or anything - I got the difference, but we all played together - my best friend was the boy down the street) But that distinction changed things for me - I was suddenly very aware of myself and of him and how I felt when I was near him. So when he started holding hands with Melissa, I immediately became aware not only of the differences between boys and girls but also between myself and the girls in my class.

I'm not sure why I felt compelled to tell you all about my first crush, but I feel like I mark that moment in 3rd grade with my growing awareness of myself as a sexual being - not related specifically to sex. I think that moment also marked for me a betrayal I felt at not being "chosen" by Brett - regardless of the author of the note - he didn't pick me and so, I suppose there must have been something that didn't measure up. And I guess since then, I've always been trying to measure up (or find evidence for "not" measuring up...)

I guess the point is that there is inevitably junk from the past that ends up defining not only our personality and perspective on the world, but also our sexuality and our relationship to sexuality. I really think it's key to clean out those crevices and heal old wounds so that we are fully expressed as sexual beings.

Patty's Challenge: What are your first memories that have defined your sexuality? Are they positive? Negative? Is there someone you need to forgive? Can you just be willing to forgive? How can you transform that memory into something that will support you? For the only meaning that memories have for you is the meaning that you give to it.

Love to you,
Patty

P.S. If you haven't already, drop me a line and let me know how you like the Daily Goddess Blog. I'd love to hear from you.

Connecting to your Power

2008-05-04T19:05:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

I love that Freya follows the juicy wild woman of Baba Yaga – for what is more perfect than looking at the issue of sexuality after meeting our wild woman?!

If you haven’t picked up Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts it is a perfect read this week. The book is fun and certainly juicy. (For those married women, she has a book called Mama Gena’s Marriage Manual) Although the premise is really to attract the relationship you are looking for (or spicing up the relationship you are in) the means to this end is finding your own pleasure and connecting to your sexuality. Being connected to your sexuality is being connected to your power and when you are connected you can make anything happen.

Patty’s Challenge:

As practice, I will offer as my challenge, an exercise from Mama Gena’s Owner’s and Operator’s Guide to Men:

“Find a guy you are not in the least bit attracted to. In a safe circumstance, allow yourself to be turned on, in his presence, just for your own benefit. Just sit near him and then start feeling your pussy. Notice things that you do find attractive about him. Could be his skin color, the sound of his voice, or his hair. Why is Mama putting you through this kind of kooky torture? I want you to understand, through experience, that turn-on or chemistry or attraction is your business, not his business. You are the desire and the object of desire, all rolled into one hot little package. I want you to see how you have your hand on the wheel of your own turn-on and how it is totally and completely up to you. Then, I want you to share this experience with your Sister Goddess girlfriends. And that is the end of the assignment. You do not have to date this man, or even be friends with this man. It was just an experience of your power for your research and development.”

Now I will admit, this week’s goddess happens to be very female centered – the meditation from the Goddess Oracle can easily be modified for men – but I don’t think that the challenge above would work for men. I think, ultimately, that men are very tuned into their sexuality – I think a good challenge would be to tune into the sexuality of a woman in your life – and if there is no woman in your life, then how can you make a woman feel truly beautiful? (and no, whistling at them on the street is not effective.)

And, for those of you ladies who have absolutely no interest in attracting a man…just connect to your power – remember, the object is not important.

HAVE FUN!

Love to you,

Patty

Freya - Sexuality

2008-05-04T18:16:00.000-07:00

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

___________________________________________________________________

There was a time

in the beginning

a time when there was nothing

a time when I danced

my dance of sexuality

the energy of creation

and with that dance

gave it to All as my gift

Sexuality brought union with me

with Goddess

with spiritual ecstasy

Sexuality healed and wheeled

regenerated and invigorated

Sexuality wove you into the web of all being

life…

for life lives to express itself

Whether it be new life

vitality

rites of pleasure

limitless possibility

whatever you choose

sexuality is life’s expressive dance

and its greatest gift.

Mythology

The northern Europeans called their lusty Goddess Freye (pronounced fray’ya), which means “mistress,” and gave her name to the sixth day of the week, Friday. She was the ruling ancestress of the elder Gods, or Vanir. She and Frigga are two aspects of the Great Goddess, Freya being the maiden aspect and Frigga being the mother aspect. Freya didn’t discriminate in her choice of lovers: all the Gods were fair game. When Freya appeared draped in her feathered cloak and wearing nothing but her magic amber necklace, none could resist her.

Meaning of the Card

Freya is here to assist you in honouring your sexuality. It is time to connect with that vital, primal, spiritual, regenerating energy and express it, whether or not have you have a partner. It’s about being fully present in your body. Not just the shoulders or head, but the clitoris, anus, breasts and feet. It’s about allowing yourself to feel vibrant, electric energy in your sex organs and use that energy to animate your being.

Have you been feeling that sexuality is too enormous or frightening or taboo to deal with? Do you fear that living and loving your sexuality will keep you from being a “nice girl”? Have the messages learned in your adolescence kept you from exploring your sexuality? Have you been too busy to take time to give to yourself sexually? Do you feel that sex requires a partner and if you aren’t with one you can’t enjoy your sexuality? Freya says that when you live your sexuality, you open to the dynamic energy that flows through all creation. When you close down, close off, close up, you limit your possibilities for connecting with Goddess energy, which brings you greater vitality. Your path to wholeness needs to include all your parts and your sexuality is an important piece of you.

Ritual Suggestion: Making Love with the Elements
You can download this meditation at the following site for $4.75
http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=42

You may either do this as a journey or enact it. If you choose to enact the ritual, you will need to find a place outdoors where you will not be disturbed and where you are assured privacy. Begin sanding, but at any time, feel free to lie or sit. Go slowly and be gentle with yourself. Notice any feelings that come up and breathe with them. Give yourself permission to feel good.

If you choose to do this as a journey, find a time and place where and when you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie down with your spine straight. Take a deep breath and exhale, letting go of all you need to let go of. Take another deep breath, this time through your vulva into your womb. Feel your womb filling with pleasurable sensations. Allow yourself to feel good.

Sense, feel or see a circle. Go to the east. The east is the place of the element air. In your own words invite the east, the air to come and play with you. Feel the air caressing your skin, either lightly touching or blowing around and through you in an erotic way. Give over your body to the sensations that are aroused. Allow the air to play with your breasts. Let the air gently stroke your labia, your clitoris. Let the pleasure expand over your entire body. Take your time and allow yourself to experience as much as is appropriate for you.

Then go to the south, the place of the fire. Invite the heat of the sun, the fire, to play with you. Feel the warmth of the sun, the vibrancy of the heat, licking your skin in certain special areas. Then as your pleasure builds, the warmth oozes all over your body. Breathe in the deliciousness caused by the sun, the fire and let it radiate through your whole body. Take time to experience all that you need.

Move on to the west, the place of the water. Invite the water to play with you. Feel the water as it slips over your skin, caressing you with its moistness. Open your most sensitive places to the water’s touch. Allow yourself to feel the pleasure of being with water. Let the water taste you, lick you, enfold you. Breathe in the sensation of the water (not the water itself) and let it surge through your whole body. Take time to experience what you need.

Go to the north, the place of the earth. Invite the earth to come and play with you. Take the mud, the thick, moist earth, and spread it over your body in reverence, in appreciation, honouring the intent to give pleasure to your body. (If you are doing this as a ritual, you may prefer to use baking flour or whatever you consider safe to spread on your genitals.) Spread the earth’s love for you thickly and richly over your entire body. Have a good time. Give yourself permission to experiment with whatever arouses you. Let yourself feel the earth making love to you until you feel satisfied. Now take in all the energy you have generated during your lovemaking with the elements. Know that you are in charge of your sexuality and responsible for getting what you need.

When ready, take a deep breath, open your eyes and return to the here and now. Give thanks to Freya for her gift. Welcome back!

Baba Yaga P.S. - Integrating Your Wild Woman

2008-04-25T18:26:00.000-07:00

Dearest Goddesses,

In order to end Baba Yaga as powerfully as she is, I’d like to add a post script creative activity for her.

P.S.

Brainstorm what your wild woman would contribute to yourself…

**courage, daring, self-esteem, self-expression, fun, dancing, art, unbridled passion, sexuality, sensuality, freedom**

Draw a self-portrait (or scan a picture of yourself into the computer and print it out).

Creatively incorporate those aspects – that wild woman – into yourself. That could simply be writing the words within the picture/self-portrait, or adding images in a collage that represent those aspects – or they could be incorporated as a specific facial expression or hair color, body shape, position.

Bring your wild woman into yourself and incorporate all of the parts of yourself.

Love to you,

Patty