Freedom of Choice

Dearest Goddesses,

I was chatting with John on my way to the Internet café today about the idea of rhythm and its connection to clarity. He had some very interesting things to say – that for him rhythm is experiential – it’s something he either knows he’s experiencing or is clear that he’s not. Not really knowing what actually affects rhythm, he did think that there was something about consistency that related or affected rhythm. Consistency of purpose – which links to clarity, for it’s that purpose that I keep getting stuck on. And so one thing that I’ve allowed myself to be consistent with – is getting stopped!

I think he’s definitely on to something. One thing he’s great at is making a decision and then seeing it through to the end. He gets stopped – but it’s usually temporary – and then he perseveres. I’m not short of great ideas, it’s facing the decision, the choice and then seeing it through that evades me. My consistency is getting to a certain point with a project and then getting distracted with another project that might be “better”. Clarity, choice and then consistency of purpose.

I read a great book called Life Paint & Passion and the basis of the book was just allowing yourself to create. Setting up your creative space, choosing a paintbrush, choosing a color and just creating. It is an awesome exercise for people like me who sometimes feel like they have to have it all figured out ahead of time before they get started. You don’t need to know where the painting is going to lead, you don’t have to have a vision in your mind – it’s all about the process – of choosing a paint brush, choosing a color and then putting it on the page. When you feel complete, the painting is done.

My challenge for you for the weekend would be to do this exercise. Get a piece of paper, some paint brushes and paint (or watercolors or crapaas or colored pencils or crayons or even cut out images for a collage…) see what you are attracted to and place it on the paper. Don’t think, don’t edit, just be…

Have a great weekend…

Love to you,

Patty

P.S. I just finished A Tree Grows in Brooklyn (THANK YOU MAURA!!) and it was simply fantastic. It is a must read for anyone, but especially to those who have any connection to Brooklyn.

Listen for the Beat

Dearest Goddesses,

I must be dealing with some bad electrical mojo because now that my internet is up and running, my computer seems to be on the fritz...

In my effort to look at rhythms and find my own beat, I can't help but hear that annoying skipping sound which manifests itself as distraction, circumstance, fear, anxiety, depression, gossip - any number of things that keep me from the flow - keep me from my greatness. I'm not sure those skipping sounds ever fully go away - but I think the more you tend to flow with your own rhythm and not focus on the skipping, the more it simply becomes part of the background - part of the song - like a scratch, scratch, scratch. I'm looking at my own beliefs and how they manifest quickly. I decided that there is something about the house that I'm living in that is hindering our ability to get our communications up and running. So of course - I've found a lot of evidence to support this. I think that's why it's so important to spend conscious time with gratitude - to find evidence to support the beliefs of "Everything works out for me" "I am open to the abundance of the universe" "I am always taken care of", etc.

One thing that keeps coming at me these past few weeks is the idea of clarity - Clarity of where I am going, what it is that I am up to - the ability to see the big picture. It is through clarity that you can begin to hear your own beat, fulfill your own needs, get taken care of.

Keep working on your rhythm ladies - recognize the skipping sounds in your own life, but don't fool yourself into thinking that's your beat. It's just a part of a greater song that you need to discover.

Love to you,
Patty

Finding Your Rhythm

Dearest Goddesses,

Well, I hope you have missed my daily musings – I certainly have missed them. I’ve had a challenging month personally and logistically – and finally am feeling like we’re back up and running, taking steps forward.

Of course the past few weeks for me have been all about the next goddess that was on my list – Morgan le Fey representing Rhythms. I sort of felt like a salmon this past month, flowing upstream – only not making as much progress as they do! Communication was harder logistically, even when I did communicate, I felt disconnected or felt like I was saying the wrong thing – it was very strange – very “out of body”. So I suppose the time was my way of reconnecting to my own rhythm – listening a little harder at what there was for me to hear, reconnect with my heartbeat, reconnect with the world, get myself centered.

Connecting to your own rhythm really is key – and sometimes recognizing that you are fighting is the first step to figuring out what that rhythm is. Allowing yourself to get quiet, to turn off the white noise that you allow to distract you (television, telephones, internet, spider solitaire, cleaning, suduko) you’ll be able to hear a beat that starts to light you up. I’m certainly in it right now – not quite feeling like the current is flowing strongly in my direction yet – but I’m not fighting to get upstream anymore. I’m working on finding my own rhythm instead of just jumping in on someone else’s dance cause it might seem easier to dance to (or just louder!!)

I’ve missed you all – I look forward to hearing all about your own rhythms and rediscover that beat that drives me. Drink in Morgan la Fey – enjoy her. And for more of her mythology, definitely pick up Marion Zimmer Bradley’s, The Mists of Avalon – thank you Melissa for introducing me to that delicious book.

I will ease in to today – and look forward to tomorrow.

Much love,

Patty

Morgan le Fey: Rhythms

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto. For more information on their work, please visit the following websites:

Amy Sophia Marashinsky: http://www.amysophia.com/
You can download the meditations included in the ritual suggestions at http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=index&cPath=2

Hrana Janto: http://www.hranajanto.com/

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When I dance with Life

I dance my own rhythm

I keep my own time

My soul’s tides are aligned

And flow

With my beat: my own unique expression

By honoring myself

I honor all

When you dance with Life

what’s your rhythm

Is it quick or slow

lively or liturgical

repetitious or ever changing

Do you let the tempo serve you

or unnerve you

soothe you

or seethe you

mettle you

or unsettle you

Do you know?

Mythology:

Morgan le Faye is a Celtic triple Goddess of death and rebirth, appearing as a beautiful young maiden, a powerful mother/creator, or a death giving hag. She was also a sea Goddess, for her name “Mor” in Celtic means sea. Her last name has two meanings: “the fairy” and “the fate”. In the Arthurian legends, she was half-sister to Arthur. It is said she manipulated Mordred, Morgan and Arthur’s son, by getting him to kill his father. As Arthur dies, Morgan le Faye comes to his aid by spiriting him to the magical island of Avalon, where she heals him, then casts him into a deep sleep from which he will awaken when the time is ripe.

Meaning of the Card:

Morgan le Faye has come dancing into your life with her drums and her magic to invite you to discover and live your rhythms. What are your personal rhythms? Do you know the best time for you to exercise, sleep, eat, be creative, make love, work, etc cetera? Or do you spend all your vitality adjusting to the rhythms imposed on you by your work, family, lover, friends? Have you been submerged in the life of another and lived his/her rhythms instead of your own? Perhaps you never discovered your own rhythms because you wanted to please those around you and be “one of the team”. It is vital for you to live according to your own rhythms. Flowing with your rhythm brings you greater energy because you are no longer suppressing what is natural to you. Morgan le Faye says vitality, health and wholeness are nurtured when you flow with your own unique beat rather than against it.

Ritual Suggestions: Journey to Avalon
You can download this meditation at the following site for$3.00
http://deepspiritualnourishment.com/catalog/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=2&products_id=53&zenid=c636244961ac59cbabec57082d290766

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Take another deep breath and release it as if you were a fire-breathing dragon, exhaling flames of tension. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, see how far you can exhale your flames of tension. Now take a deep breath and, as you exhale, see, sense or feel that you are on a small boat. It can be a boat you are familiar with or one that exists in your imagination. The boat rocks back and forth, back and forth, and you are rocking into a deep state of relaxation with it. It feels so comfortable to be gently rocked by the boat as you are carried across the water, securely and safely.

You look up and see a curtain of mists. Slowly the mists open, creating a passageway for your boat. After you enter, the mists close. Before you is the island of Avalon. Your boat lands and you step out. Morgan le Faye greets you and welcomes you to Avalon.

She asks you what you need and you tell her you have come for assistance with your rhythms. She takes you by the hand and leads you to her magical scrying pond, in the middle of a circle of apple trees. You both sit on some low rocks at the edge of the pond. Morgan le Faye takes her wand and stirs the pond. When the pond becomes still again, what you see on the surface of the pond is exactly what you need. You thank Morgan le Faye for her help and she asks you for something. You give it to her in gratitude, with an open heart. Then she escorts you back to your boat.

You enter the boat and it takes off. Again, the mists part for you, then close. The gentle rocking of the boat is soothing. You are returning, feeling clear and centered, returning, feeling you know what you need to do: returning, feeling refreshed and revitalized.

You take a deep breath and release it slowly, coming fully back into your body. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, open your eyes. Welcome back!

Who You Are Is ENOUGH

Dearest Goddesses,

I went to a Pranic Healing Circle last night which was simply amazing. When I walked in I immediately went to the space of – ugh, these people are weird, I don’t belong, and a huge, long, boring story about not fitting in. The facilitator led us through this meditation and I immediately became present to feelings of worthiness or deserving. I have allowed certain circumstances in my life lately to affect my ability to receive, my physical stature, my feelings of worthiness. I made myself feel so small. The second this meditation started, I felt this weight lift off of me and this feeling of deserving embraced me and I felt I deserved not only to receive the benefits of the healing energy last night, but also to participate in giving the healing energy.

I felt like this fits great in this week’s goddess, Isis, representing Mothering. This idea of deserving – love, abundance, intimacy, health, joy, happiness, family – at its core has to do with nurturing, allowing ourselves to be nurtured, acting in a self-nurturing way. As babies we are completely self-expressed. When something wasn’t right, we cried and our needs were met. As we get older, things happen, we make up meaning – usually related to not being good enough – and suddenly it’s not as easy to verbalize our needs or perhaps our caregiver isn’t available in a moment and so we begin questioning our own worthiness in receiving the nurturing we crave.

I was reading through an old notebook and came across this quote – I did not write down the author of the quote or the book that I must have been reading at the time – but I don’t think I can take credit for it…

The question is not why you are so infrequently the people you really want to be. The question is why you so infrequently want to be the people you really are. Because you have no faith that who you are is enough.

I became clear last night, that although it was wonderful to give and receive the healing energies and be around a wonderfully generous community, the power that I felt was already within me – I just needed to access it. And it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility to generate that for me – it was MINE. What was lacking inside of me – this idea of worthiness or deserving was because of MY beliefs, thoughts, etc. We have a choice every day of how we are going to deal with our circumstances – I am grateful for the reminder (for I this is information I already knew) last night that I do deserve all that wonderful bounty the universe has to offer. AND – also something I already knew - those limiting beliefs about not deserving were more than likely what was creating the circumstances in the first place! Ah, the vicious cycle!

Creative Project:

There are so many aspects of mothering that can be explored creatively depending on your needs. For some reason, I am equating mothering or nurturing like a big bear hug – we all need those hugs every once in awhile. The key is being able to ask for those hugs when you need them. SO – I’m going to combine a challenge and a creative project.

Find someone that you feel safe with and ask them for a big healing bear hug. Be present in the hug – allow yourself to receive the healing energies of the hugger. When the hug is complete – make sure you thank the hugger – and take a notebook to write down a list of 20 words or phrases – descriptions, feelings, thoughts – about what was present for you in the hug. Then take those 20 words or phrases and organize them into a poem.

Extra Credit Challenge: Make a request. Really stretch yourself in your feelings of worthiness or deserving and make a request that might be uncomfortable to make. Here is my request:

I would like to request that you all respond to one of my goddess posts at least once a month (pattykennelly@hotmail.com). If something strikes you, or you have a comment, or you don’t understand something, or even if you disagree – let me know at least once a month.

Thank you in advance for considering my request.

Blessings,
Patty

Definitions & Meaning

Dearest goddesses,

I’ve often thought of the words mother, grandmother and the meaning that is attached to those names, words, labels. Sometimes I think the meaning behind those names can create distance from the actual “person” behind the name. Maybe it is through the limited point of view that you grow up with – that feeling that you are the center of the universe.

I remember seeing a television show years ago – I think it might have been Growing Pains and Kirk Cameron was sick and home from school one day watching Gilligan’s Island. He turned off the show and was genuinely shocked when he turned it back on and the “show had gone on”. I think of my own grandmothers and how to a certain extent they weren’t individual people to me – they only existed as my “grandmother”. It wasn’t until they were long gone that I wondered about the women behind the title. What were their hopes, their fears. How did they deal with disappointment. What were their dreams – did they feel they lived those dreams?

I think it is a conscious choice to get to know the people behind the titles. And a choice to let go of the “roles” we tend to fall into when family gets together which tend to just keep that distance and not allow the intimacy and vulnerability needed to see the person.

The goddess of the week was Isis, representing Mothering and I think it is important to look at the definitions that go behind the titles of mother, grandmother, etc. Are there limiting definitions that you need to let go of? To either create intimacy with your mother, grandmother or to break free of limitations that you are experiencing as a mother? As someone who doesn’t have children, I feel the weight of the meaning behind that as well. I actually think there is much more empowering meaning behind motherhood than behind women in their mid-30’s who do not have children, for whatever reason. However – the only way the meaning can affect you is if you are choosing that meaning in your life. (I obviously have some letting go to do!)

Patty’s Challenge: Look at the definitions and meaning that society has given the terms mother and grandmother and also the definitions that you have created. They can be referred to as “shoulds”. Come up with an affirmation that takes the place of those shoulds that empowers you.

Blessings,
Patty

Mothering Ourselves

Dearest Goddesses,

I am happy to be in Isis’s arms this week. Isis represents Mothering – and no matter who you are, I’m sure you could use a little of that unconditional nurturing in your life. I hope you all are lucky enough to have received that kind of nurturing, loving relationship with your mother – or someone who acted as a mother figure. Wiping your tears and kissing it to make it better when you got hurt, or telling you that everything was going to be okay when the hurt wasn’t physical but emotional. Eventually, you got a little too big to sit on mom’s lap and your needs weren’t as easy to meet. I sometimes long for the day of having mom kiss it and know that it was going to be all better!

Alas – it is up to me now to mother myself and make sure I am nurtured, and that I allow myself to receive all of the nurturing that is around me. And since my mommy does not live in easy hugging distance, it is up to me to make sure my needs are met when I need a hug and to be told it’s all going to be okay!

I certainly look forward to embracing Isis and learn what aspects of my life need more mothering, how I can open myself further to mothering and allow others to mother me.

Patty’s Challenge: Read the attachment on Isis – where does mothering need to show up more in your life?

Love & Blessings,
Patty