Thursday, January 31, 2008

Starting Shitty

Dearest Goddesses,

I suppose since I had ideas other than just sharing myself and my musings with you with this new goddess format (I want to write a book) there is no mistake why it has been so confronting for me – especially my promised creative project point. It’s Thursday – my promised creative project day and my head is scattered.

My dear friend Susan shared something with me that I’d like to share with you. She had met with a friend of hers and were discussing the idea of getting started – taking that first step and her friend said to “start shitty”… Perhaps if we could take that on as a given for starting, we wouldn’t have such an apprehension for what it was going to turn out looking like and we could push through the doubt, fear, insecurity that gets in the way of getting started. And I think this is a good segue into another aspect of power which is asking for help which may require admitting you don’t know it all or telling some “bad news” about yourself!

The truth is, the doubt and fear aren’t going anywhere – by ignoring it and not acknowledging it – it doesn’t make it go away or disappear. But acknowledging it, recognizing it the power that those forces have on you dissipates. By ignoring it, the power of your subconscious will actually create meaning for you and provide you with evidence that your fears and doubts are valid. You have the power to be responsible for your fears and doubts – thank them for sharing – and then do it anyway. Start shitty.

SO – my fear is that I’m not making a difference, that nobody’s interested in doing the creative project or my challenges anyway, so why bother. “And who are you to be writing a book on this, you’re life is a mess.” “You’re not an artist” “You’re not even doing the projects, what makes you think anyone else is?!” Okay – just a little of my negative self talk. I’m not writing this for you to tell me how great I am – although that’s always nice ;) My intention is to hopefully show how we all get stopped by our fears and doubts. Telling on ourselves, asking for help are ways to get through it.

So…I will start shitty and come up with a creative project that I think does Lilith and the inquiry into Power– and I welcome you all to take it on and do it.

Patty’s Challenge: Where can you “start shitty” – where can you tell on yourself or ask for help? Where is fear and doubt stopping you?

Love to you,


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