Monday, August 11, 2008

Pity Party Hangover

Dearest Goddesses,

Well, I am a bit hungover for the week long pity party that I had for myself. It was quite the blowout!

I suppose at times like those, it’s best to reach out to people, let them in, ask for help. I just know that if I open my mouth, I might start to whine and I would rather not subject anyone to that. So, you’re welcome ;) But although I wasn’t prepared to put myself out there and feel like a fraud, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I wanted to share with you.

Today, I thought I’d share an insight that I got from my tried and true – Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman. It really was perfect for me, and maybe it will ring true for you as well.

Are you willing to believe in ideas of abundance, of validating the inner world, and of learning to grow through joy?

Starting with your own past, think of a time in which something happened you did not understand. Now, as you look back as an adult, as an older, more mature self, you can understand precisely why you drew that incident to you and what you learned from it. You can see as you look back with the larger picture in mind that when you did not get what you thought you wanted, thee was a reason for not having it. Perhaps not having it changed your life path. Maybe having it would have held you back in some way, or maybe it was something you wanted from a smaller, less evolved part of you. As you look back with your memories, reviewing past relationships and career paths (even those you are still in but letting go of), see how they served you. What you have now would not be possible without those experiences. You cannot leave something until you love it. The more you hate something the more bound you are to it, and the more you love it the freer you are. So as you love your past, you are free from it.

When you can think of your childhood and your parents and know that they were perfect for the path you are on, you are then free of the effects of your past. You can believe that you chose your parents, relationships, and careers so that you could be where you are now. As you change your negative memories into positive understanding, you can go even faster into your new future.

You can release the past by loving it.

Every time you think of a bad memory that makes you feel sorry for yourself, or bad about how you acted, or makes you see yourself as a victim, or makes you hold a negative picture of yourself, Stop! See what good you created from that experience. It may be that you learned so much from it you never again brought that kind of behaviour back into your life. It may be that because of that situation, you changed your path. It may have brought you an important connection or helped develop new qualities and personality traits. You may have served and helped many people in that job. Your parents may have developed your strength, or your inner will, by creating obstacles for you. People who want to develop muscles, for instance, may use weights to push against. Your parents may have acted as a “weight” for you to push against to develop your inner strength. Everything in your past happened for your good. If you could believe that the universe is friendly, that it is always helping you to create your highest good, you could live a life of more peace and security.

Look at your present time existence. If you wish to see the larger picture you can sit and imagine that you are going into the future. If you are facing a new challenge, one for which you have not yet acquired the necessary skills, imagine yourself going into the future and uniting with your future self, drawing to you the knowledge that future self holds. It may not come into your conscious awareness until the moment you need it, but the energy and knowledge your future, for from that perspective it would be much simpler to know what to do today. You could even imagine you are that future self and talk to your self of today from that future perspective. You could make things up, telling yourself why you are going through what you are experiencing and affirming to your present self the rightness of everything that is happening. Your future self is real and separated from you only by time. It can talk to you and help you know what to do right now, how to get where you want to go even more quickly.

This rang quite true for me and what I’m going through and made it clear that “hating” my present isn’t going to change it – it simply binds me to it even stronger. And it just isn’t any fun.

I will send this week’s goddess tomorrow –as this has been a lot of typing. Think about her though: Minerva: Beliefs.

Love to you,


Sugar said...

I have a friend-slash-spiritual-advisor that has been helping me with NLP and EFT exercises that have been amazing. It's more than just finding the lesson, but also cleansing your body and mind of the physical pain that a memory has caused you. She, too, talks about using your future self to nurture and guide your present self. It's been an amazing ride. One that she and I will be sharing soon. Hope you continue finding your joy, too!

Rowena said...

This is a good way to look at things, I think. I have always had a problem with forgiveness... partly because I don't get mad at people until it has gone way too far, and I don't resent them until they have ignored all the opportunities to do something right. So I hold on to a couple of angers that I don't know how to release.

Not sure I like the solution here, but it makes a lot of sense. I use it, I think for all sorts of smaller issues and daily frustrations... how to turn it to the resentments?

Sugar, that sounds really interesting and reminds me a bit of Landmark which I did many years ago (patty got me to go.)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this valuable post. I appreciate what you have to say, it's worth reflecting upon. I know I've made many assumptions in which is not at all right, and you're right about drawing that experience and linking it from my old negative experience. I do need to remind myself that I'm not so young anymore and I pray that I don't make the same mistakes as I did in the past. Not just that, but I'm surrounded by many people that trully care. I see that now. I'm sorry and most of all I Thank you for taking the time to understand who I am. Not giving up on me and believing in me. You've given me your time - I could never have given as much as you have. I love you so much for being there whenever I needed you. I love almost everything I see in you. I thank God for giving me this experience with you. It was such a journey that wasn't easy for me, but you made it all worth while - I really mean that. Thank you for always being there for me. When times I lose hope, you know exactly what's going on, and you're there to save me. I love you. You help be divert my priorities to what is important, not just temporary happiness, but life long leasons that will help me to become the person I should be, and I too want to change, for the good, for me, and for you. If it's God's will, I want to be with you for as long as I can, to me that will never change. I love the thought that you are always there with me, even when I don't see you. I love that your so generous at celebrating with me and giving me the attention, when I know that it's all because of you. I probably don't say it nearly enough, how much you mean to me and how you have brought so much colour to my world. It could never be replaced, or be the same when you're not in my world. Any sense of thinking you will keep away, breaks me, I think that would be maybe the worst thing that can happen to me. I only hope, that someday you will see in me something that is of worth, and I will do my best to be that for you. I'm yours as long as you say that you need me too, the way I need you.