Thursday, August 14, 2008

Saying Goodbye

Goodbyes are never easy. I remember at the holidays when all my cousins would come home to Woodstock and the tears that would flow, flow, flow when they left. It's the same thing every time I get on a plane to leave my family.

The goodbyes are harder still when they are permanent - our dear friend Nick Deane passed away this past Sunday. For those of you who were at my wedding - Nick is of Nick's where many a drink was drunk! He certainly was one of our favorite people and he will be missed.

I'm also facing the inevitable goodbye of one of my best friends - Wilma. She's 13 years old and has been a part of my life for almost 12 and she can't really take part in our walks anymore, she has trouble making it up the stairs and I've noticed a new tiredness in her eyes.

I'm okay with the cycle of life and understand that death and rebirth are a part of that cycle. I know that it is time to say goodbye - but I've never been the deciding factor before in life and death. (Well, I was responsible for Bubba the fish's death in college, but somehow the toilet flush seems a bit different) She's my family, you know? She's never left my side. Determining the end of life has been a horrific struggle for me.

I will save the eulogy for when she's gone for I will need to celebrate her life and who she was for me. Now it's time to celebrate the time she has left and make her feel beyond loved.

Death...a part of life, but never easy. The goodbyes are important I've found - whether it is a physical death or a metaphoric one. And I find that it is never too late. Is there a good-bye you need to say to let something go?

Many blessings,


Rowena said...

I agree. Goodbyes are so hard. I don't know what I have left to say goodbye to, actually. I feel like I have let go of so many things.

I have been thinking about leaving my cat Tazer here, when I go back to NY. I do not really want to, but my Uncle loves her and cares for her, and she is rather afraid of the boy and spends her whole day hiding. He used to be very hard on her. He has grown out of the pulling and grabbing, but she is still afraid. And I am not a good cat mom now that all my energy is going into the kids, so I think I should say good bye to her. I don't really want to, though. It may not be fair to her to keep her.

I'm not up to that decision yet.

I am very sorry about Wilma. It is hard to put them down, but I think it is kinder to them. It all comes down to if they are still enjoying life, or not. If not... then it seems unfair to make them stay. That's just my opinion. I know other people feel differently.

Sugar said...

I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. It's always so hard to go on knowing that person isn't going to be there anymore.

At my reunion, I found out that we had lost five of our former classmates. I felt awful that we wouldn't get to see them that night smiling and dancing with the rest of us. It just seemed so unnatural...

I experienced a loss this week... kinda weird, though... I never even met her... come by to meet Bridget, if you can:

Lauren said...

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. You're right, it's never easy to say goodbye, even if it's what's best. I'll be sending you lots of postivity for your upcoming decisions regarding Wilma...she has been such an amazing friend to you, I can only imagine how the both of you must be feeling. All the best.