Vila: Shape-Shifting

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle, copyright 1997, by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto.

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I dance from form to form

I shift from shape to shape

ever changing

ever expanding

ever becoming

I am flexibility

for by changing my form

I freely flow with all that comes my way

I am consciousness

for by shifting my shape

I gain an expanded awareness of what it is to BE

I waltz a whirlwind

tango a tree

salsa a swan

or just plain fox-trot

My dance is an affinity with All

for I am able to become All in order to know All

Becoming All dissolves form

Knowing All creates Oneness

The illusion is that you have a separate shape

Mythology

Vila (pronounced vee’lah) is the eastern European name for the Goddess energy moving through the earth as nature. Vily (plural) are very protective of their terrain and use their arrows of death on those who trespass. They are consummate shape-shifters, able to change into animals such as snakes, swans, falcons, and horses. They love to play and dance. If contacted in the forest on a moonlit night, they might grant health, wealth, abundant crops or they might, if shown disrespect, dance the offender to death.

Meaning of the Card

Vila has come dancing into your life in her many forms to teach you to nourish wholeness by learning to shape-shift. Have you been too long in one form? Are you feeling stiff and stagnant, losing flexibility in your way of thinking and being? Or perhaps you feel that the human is the most important being in creation – that the rocks, trees, animals, earth, et cetera, are lesser forms. It is time to expand your awareness, to enhance your flexibility by getting the perspective of other forms. Vila says the way to wholeness lies in experiencing the whole of creation.

Ritual Suggestion: Shape-Shifting the Elements

Select a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed. Stand, sit or lie comfortably with your back straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly, letting everything go with it. Take ea deep breath into your womb, through your vagina. Feel the air fill your womb and then exit through your vagina. Keep breathing into your womb.

Stand facing the east and visualize, feel, sense the element air in whatever form you choose: a warm summer breeze, a windy March day. When you have a clear sense of the air, breathe it into your womb until your womb becomes the air. Let the air spread through your whole body, so that your body dissolves and you are the air. Allow yourself to experience oneness with the air until you are ready to move on. Then let the airy sensation recede into your womb and finally leave your body completely.

Facing south, get a strong sense, visual image, or feeling of fire. Is it a bonfire or a flickering candle? A forest fire or hearth fire? Focus on your image, then take it into your womb so that your womb becomes the fire. Let the fire gradually spread through your body so that you dissolve into the fire. Stay with the experience of being fire until it is time for you to return. Let the fire recede until it is only in your womb, then et the fire go completely.

Face the west and the element water. Sense, see or feel a running stream, a calm clear pond, the immensity and power of the ocean, or a glass of water and focus on it. Then breathe it into your womb so that your womb becomes the water. Let it spread to the rest of your body so that your body dissolves and you become the water. Enjoy the experience of being water until you feel it is time to return. Gradually let the water recede until it is only in your womb, then release the water completely.

Face the north and the element earth. Choose the image, sense, or feeling of earth that is appropriate for you – the mountains, jungle, forest, desert – and focus on it. Breathe it into your womb until your womb becomes one with the earth. Let the earth spread throughout your body until your body dissolves and you are the earth. Stay with that experience until you are ready to return. Gradually let the earth recede from your body until the earth is only in your womb, then release the earth completely. Take a deep breath and open your eyes. Welcome back to your human form.

Waiting to Exhale

Dearest Goddesses,

I never realized the sheer genius of the title of Terry McMillan’s book Waiting to Exhale until recently when I actually had the feeling like it had been weeks since I had really exhaled. I’ve had the feeling of holding my breath in anticipation for months now. I went to my tried and true guide Living with Joy by Sanaya Roman and I flipped it open to a chapter on clarity.

When we are faced with change or feelings of uncertainty we tend to lose our perspective on the big picture and only focus on the immediate situation. When we keep our perspective, when we look at our life as one long story instead of a series of disjointed chapters, suddenly the “crisis” that we are facing in chapter 157 becomes the baseline for the tremendous epiphany in chapter 163. (I suppose if my life were like a James Patterson book, I’d already be on chapter 1063 at least…)

But seriously – think about a time in your life when you faced a tremendous challenge – one of those “end of the world” bits. Although you still may look back on that as a difficult time in your life or still think it was unfair, etc. the truth is you survived. It wasn’t the end of the world – and chances are, if we truly look back on the situation, it turned out for the best or provided a needed learning experience or simply proved the old adage that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

I’ll share a bit of an excerpt from Living With Joy with you now:

“Achieving clarity involves seeing the larger picture, a longer time frame, a bigger perspective. The larger your view, the clearer you can be…If you are willing to look at yourself as a whole, you can begin t find different levels of clarity around the present moment. It does not mean you need to know the form or where you are going. It means that the larger the picture you hold of who you are, the clearer you can be. If you were to go into the future and look back at today, you could gain a new perspective of who you are, for clarity is brought about by the changing of perspective. Most of you have certain ways you think, certain habits and patterns. Every time you break free and find a new way of thinking, you increase clarity. Clarity is not something that you reach and have from then on. It is an ongoing refinement of your picture.”

I read a quote today on a friend’s facebook page and really connected to it and so I think I will leave it with you today:

'When you come to the edge of all the light you have known and are about to step into the darkness, FAITH is knowing one of two things will happen...There will be something to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.'

- Patrick Overton

Love to you,

Patty

Anger Management

Dearest Goddesses,

This week is for Sekhmet and although she represents Anger & Rage which can be scary for those of us who like everything to be “nice” – it is an important element to deal with – especially for women.

I watched The Incredible Hulk over the weekend – it certainly wasn’t the greatest movie, but I couldn’t help but think about it when I read through Sekhmet yesterday. By not expressing our anger productively, we end up turning into big green monsters and leaving dead bodies all around us (metaphorically of course!!) Finding ways to deal with the pressure, to alleviate the anger BEFORE we explode is key.

I look back on last week and in the words of U2 – “I got stuck in a moment” and I just couldn’t get out of it. I recognize that I got stuck in my anger and when you get stuck in your anger and don’t express it powerfully and productively – it can get messy, but as women, we tend to turn it inward and it then it can be dangerous.

I find that a sense of humor is KEY to dealing with life’s ups and downs as well as your anger. I’ve posted an image on my blog of a “love note” I shared with John over the weekend!

Well – this week is an inquiry into Anger & Rage and using Sekhmet as our guide, it will be safe and not scary. And essential, I might add as we stop the serial killers (metaphoric of course).

Look forward to your feedback.

Love and light,

Patty

Sekhmet: Anger & Rage

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle, copyright 1997, by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto.

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I burn and fume

and shoot daggers from my eyes

I erupt and roar

(though you’ve not pulled my tail)

my edges are sharp

and I cut deep

my energy is strong and fierce

and my displeasure

needs to be expressed

Though sometimes mild

I can be very intense

Once incited

I am difficult to put out

I am always appropriate

always needed

Don’t try to get rid of me

I need to be acknowledged and heard

I am anger

Mythology:

Sekhmet (pronounced sek’met), the lion-headed Egyptian Sun Goddess, is known as the destructive aspect of the Sun. Vowing to destroy all humanity in a fit of rage, she went on a killing spree. She was stopped by the intervention of Ra, the high God, who put huge vats of beer mixed with pomegranate juice in her path. Mistaking it for human blood, Sekhmet consumed the drink and became intoxicated. When she woke up, her rage was gone. Red in this painting signifies Sekhmet’s scorching, smoldering nature.

Meaning of the Card:

Sekhmet leaps into your life to help you face your anger. Does anger, yours or someone else’s, make you feel uncomfortable? Do you fear your anger because you were taught anger isn’t nice? Or that expressing anger is ugly? Have you repressed or disconnected from it so much so that you don’t know how to express it now? Perhaps you’ve gone beyond anger to rage. Rage is accumulated anger gone out of control. Perhaps you’re in a slow boil all the time and don’t know how to take the pot from the fire. Sekhmet says our anger is part of our power as women. Don’t give away your anger. Learn to express it in a way that it can be heard. Learn to transform it so it empowers and energizes you. Your path to wholeness will be more vital when you make anger your ally.

Ritual Suggestion – Dancing with Sekhmet

Find a time and a place when and where you will not be disturbed and where you can make noise. You will need a drum or pillow or bataka bat (made of foam that is used to safely express anger and rage). You can dance or do this while sitting, whatever feels appropriate for you. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight. Take a deep breath and release it slowly on the count of eight. Take another deep breath and sense, visualize, or feel a beach. It can be a beach you know or one that you imagine. Take a slow deep breath, inhaling the smell of the sea and, as you release it, go three. Feel the hot sun on your skin and the cool breeze from the ocean. Call Sekhmet and ask her to be present to help you with and to witness your anger. Sekhmet appears and sits in front of you.

Ask yourself, “Where do I have anger?” and listen for the answer. (It can be a recent anger or a long-buried one.) Sekhmet tells you to search for your anger in a relaxed way, and assures you that if you call, it will come. When you have it, allow yourself to relive the incident in which you felt anger, while repeating the words, “I am angry.” Also say what you are angry about. Sekhmet witnesses your anger and says, “I hear you are angry.”

From your safe space on the beach, either sit or stand, but keep repeating the words, “I am angry”. If you have a drum, beat your feelings of anger on the drum. I fyou choose to beat a pillow or bataka bat, allow your body to feel the anger and express it. Move, vocalizew, dance, or do whatever is appropriate. Above all, allow yourself to feel your anger and express it. Know that it is safe to do so, that Sekhmet is witnessing your anger and loving you for it, that it is yours and you have a right to it. Press deeper into the anger until you feel done or until it changes into something else.

When you are finished, take a deep breath, inhale all the energy you have raised and transformed. Sekhmet tells you what a joy it is to have witnessed and held the space for you to express your anger. You feel energized and refreshed. You think Sekhmet and she asks you for a gift. You give it to her with an open heart, then she leaves. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, open your eyes. Welcome back!

(Stop) Shoulding Update

Dearest Goddesses,

My girl came out of surgery just fine yesterday – thank you for sending her love and light.

In honor of Oya and change, I wanted to give you an update regarding the commitment that I made last week to stop shoulding on John – since I recognized the vicious cycle living inside a "should" world is. And since I was rebelling against his should – why wouldn't he be rebelling against mine as well!?

The beginning of the week was challenging because John was traveling with an investor. I recognized that when things were even further out of my control – my need to should increased tenfold. But then he was home and I found myself relaxing a bit and getting centered inside of my commitment to figure out the requests behind my shoulding and I've got to tell you I feel like I'm married to a different man. He's of course the same guy, hasn't changed a bit – but suddenly the lenses that I see him through are a different color. Now don't get me wrong, he still gets on my nerves – I just feel like I don't need to spend the energy making him "get it".

An insight that I did have was that I felt like I needed to set myself up against all the women of history who fought for women's rights. So instead of a man in 2008 – John became a represenatative of all the men who take for granted the women in their lives, I was a representative of all the women who have fought for equal rights and our relationship was suddenly a battlefield of righteousness. When he left a dish on the table, suddenly I was back at my grandparent's house for Thanksgiving wondering why the boys were off playing while the girls were dutifully in the kitchen washing up. When he requested a glass of milk, I would look at him with contempt thinking that he had 2 perfectly good legs to get his own damn glass of milk, when he would do something impulsive, I was of course the wounded martyr always sacrificing for her family. The weight of the PAST – and boy it wasn't just my past that I was throwing in there – I had history inside of the relationship! It became very crowded. There's a big difference when a request for a glass of milk is just a nice thing to do for a fellow human being rather than some historical precedent that I need to beat out of this man I married. I think sometimes when we stop to think about it – we're not even fighting our fights – but the fights of our mothers, our grandmothers and the founding mothers of our world. I'm sure there are better ways to honor these women than fighting over a glass of milk.

So the past five days have been remarkable. And now, inspired by Rowena, when I feel my crankiness emerging, I can now give myself a 35 minute timeout (a minute for every year!) so I can get centered and rejoin my world more powerfully. Another thing – very simple – that has worked remarkably well for me this past week has been consciously enclosing things that I'm worried, stressed, or obsessing over into a box in my mind. I sit and visualize the thing I'm obsessing about (yesterday it was Ginny's health – I had convinced myself, for no rational reason, that she had died) and then I box it up – I covered all sides and I place it on the shelf. I was amazed the first time I did it of the physical relief I felt the second the cover went on. And it wasn't like I needed to use willpower to simply force it out of my head. The box can live there for as long as it needs to and maybe I'll do a cleaning once a month of the old boxes that I don't need anymore.

Patty's Challenge: What can you box up that you don't need to be spending time or energy on right now? Visualize placing it in a box (I was using a nice crate with a latch on it) and making sure all the sides are covered and placing it on a shelf.

Love to you,

Patty

P.S. I've shared one of my favorite authors with you – Sanaya Roman. Go to her website – you can download a series of 3-7 minute meditations from Orin for free. That is what I did during my timeout yesterday and it quickly shifted my energy.

Changes: Motherhood

Dearest Goddesses,

We woke with a scare this morning. Ginny hadn't been feeling well for several days – just not her tail waggin, vivacious self. Her appetite didn't change (she could always be found perched at the stove when we were cooking) she was going to the bathroom fine – but when she woke up this morning with a horrible discharge (I'll spare you the details – I'm sure you're grossed out enough) we woke the vet up (Sunday morning!!) It turns out that she has a uterine infection – which is apparently common in bulldogs – and the only solution was to get her spayed. John and I had been talking about the idea of finding her a mate at her next period and have a litter. Although we were disappointed that there wouldn't be little Ginnys running around (isn't she cute??) we were also relieved. No more periods, no monitoring a bulldog birth – which apparently is extremely challenging. On the way home from the vet, John turned to me and said – I guess the universe is telling us that we're not supposed to have babies, I corrected him…puppies you mean. Right…puppies.

As a married woman in her mid-thirties, I am asked at least once a week whether I have children. While I sometimes I like to think it's because I live in Costa Rica and women traditionally have babies fairly young, I know it would be the same in the states. And when I answer no – there is invariably a follow-up question of why not? Don't you want kids?

Sometimes I think of myself as a victim "How does this jerk not know that maybe I've been trying for years and simply can't have babies – how is this question supposed to make me feel??"

Other times I feel like I've got to defend myself "No, not yet, but we're trying!!"

My usual answer is "When it's time, it's time" (of course in my limited Spanish, I'm not sure it translates great!)

I suppose the truth would have to be "To be honest with you – I just don't know if I do…"

There's a whole flood of junky garbage that goes through the mind of a woman in her mid-thirties who's still not sure she wants (or can have) children. While I'm not obsessive about cervical fluid or temperature, we're actively seeing if it happens. I notice a lot of pregnant women and think longingly about having babies and then I see a mother schlepping her screaming brood around and am grateful that I'm not. Every month I get that twinge of hopefulness that I am – and can't help but be a bit disappointed when I'm not, and then I go about my month and love my freedom and how relatively low maintenance my dogs are. I've been on the "Am I pregnant?" websites and I've felt angry at my body for the few days of deception. I've felt the feeling of failure that my body hasn't produced even a glimmer of life, while those around me seem so fertile. I've felt the pressure of the clicking biological clock. I wonder if my choices, my indecision, my failure to log cervical mucus and Basal Body temperature, will seem like wasted time when I'm 40 and my chances are even slimmer? Will I be okay with the question – how come you don't have any kids, in 10 years? When the ticking gets louder in a couple years, will I head to a fertility clinic and start dosing myself with hormones? I don't know – I like to think I won't – that I'll accept that although I won't physically give birth in this life, that I am still Mama Spice (I once asked John what my Spice Girl name would be – he said Mama Spice…!) That I'll join the ranks of the many beautiful, talented, passionate, loving, giving, women I know, who have chosen for one reason or another not to have children.

The truth is, I just don't know. I like being Auntie Patty, Tia Linda, Uncle Patty (to Jonah!) to the kids in my life. I love hearing about their successes and seeing them grow up. I love their precociousness and their questions. I love their laughter and how they can fall asleep anywhere. And I really love going home and sleeping through the night without a bad dream, or a bedwetting, or an I don't know what's wrong, how can I make it better, why won't you just go to sleep?

I suppose in all of this, the most effective answer is – when it's time, it's time. And if it's not? Well, I certainly hope to have given birth to creation, to possibility, to miracles, to growth…

And so, while my baby is at the Vet having surgery tomorrow morning (send her light!!) which will end her chances of motherhood – I couldn't help but ponder my own.

Love to you,

Patty

Oya - Change

The following is excerpted exactly from The Goddess Oracle, copyright 1997, by Amy Sophia Marashinsky and the illustrations are by Hrana Janto.

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I work in ways deep

ever present

always moving

I work in ways dramatic

with thrunder and lightning

sweeping and uprooting

I work in ways subtle

pushing and prodding

wearing and tearing

I swirl you and twirl you

I shock you and rock you

I clear the way for what is to come

I can be slight or stupendous

brief or long lasting

uproaring or uprising

What I can't be is ignored.

Mythology:

In Africa, Oya (pronounced oh-yah) is the Yoruban Goddess of weather, especially tornadoes, lightning, destructive rainstorms, fire, female leadership, persuasive charm, and transformation. She is also one of the most powerful of Brazilian Macumba deities. When women find themselves in hard-to-resolve conflicts, she is the one to call on for protection. Wearing wine, her favorite color and exhibiting nine whirlwinds (nine being her sacred number), she is depicted here with a turban twisted to appear like buffalo horns, for it is said she assumed the shape of a buffalo when wedded to Ogun.

Meaning of the Card

Oya storms into your life to tell you that change is calling, beckoning, and camping out on your doorstep. The way to wholeness for you lies in embracing change. Have you been too busy, too stressed, to attend to the changes needed in your life to nurture yourself? Is change so fearful a concept that you push it aside play hide-and-seek with it, or just ignore it? Have you arranged your life so perfectly that there is no room left for potential? Time for change. Time to sweep out, sweep up, and be swept away. Perhaps you are in the midst of the Change (menopause) and are having trouble accepting it. Resistance to change brings more persistent change. Choosing to dance with change means you will flow with it. Let yourself be unsettled, prepare yourself for growth. Enter deeply into change's chaotic dance and you'll be richly blessed with abundant possibilty. It is time for something completely different. Oya says that the earth must be dug up before anything can be planted and that change always brings you what you need on your path to wholeness.

Ritual Suggestion: Enlisting Change as Your Ally

This meditation can be downloaded for $2.00

Find a time and a olace when and where you will not be distrubed. Sit or lie comfortably with your spine straight and close your eyes. Take a deep breath and release it slowly. Take another deep breath and this time release it while making the sounds of the wind. Take another deep breath and, as you release it, see, sense or feel yourself walking along a path. The day is beautiful, perfect for a walk. The path takes you up and the path takes you down. You follow the path, surrendering to where it leads you, feeling more and more relaxed, more and more at ease.

Now the path begins to climb steadily. Up, up, up you go. Soon you have to climb hand over hand. Still the path climbs upward. You finally pull yourself onto an immense plateau. You have arrived on the Plain of Vision where the winds blow cool, clear, and clean. Here you can see clearly what you need to see.

Allow yourself to experience the swirling of the winds as your vision clears. You call Oya and she comes. She scoops you up in a powerful embrace. She asks you why you have come. You aks her, "What can I do to enlist change as my ally?" and she answers. Envision the answer clearly in your mind, then thank Oya for her help. She asks you for a gift and you give it to her with gratitude and an open heart. Oya embraces you again and vanishes.

Now it is time to return. You climb down slowly and carefully. Down, down, down, feeling calm and refreshed. Down, down, down, feeling at ease and centered till you are once more on the path. The path takes you through and the path takes you around. You follow, feeling a sense of peace. The path takes you down and the path takes you up, as you feel more and more awake. Take a deep breath and, as you release it slowly, come back into your body. Take another deep breath and open your eyes. Welcome back!