Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The Nasty Shadow...Complaining

Dearest Goddesses,

Embracing the Shadow…I’m not sure if I’m embracing the shadow yet, but I am certainly seeing her a little bit more. John read the daily goddess from yesterday and had to question my “feisty warrior” reference. I think of all the people in my life, he sees that angry shadow unleashed – and I don’t think he would qualify it as a “feisty warrior” – maybe nasty bitch might be more appropriate!! But that’s the point, really! If I don’t let her out to be feisty, she comes out as nasty and if I don’t express her at all, she just sits there and turns inward.

I recognized yesterday that I also have a shadow – that may be related – that is ravenous once the dinner dishes are done. I can’t eat enough or fast enough and last night (of course as I was watching The Biggest Loser – what a great show!) I recognized that in order to deal with this issue of mine, I’m going to have to truly change my environment. And by environment, I don’t just mean my physical space – although I do think the set up of my house contributes – I mean habits, relationships, activities.

Another aspect of shadow that I took a look at (and still am) over the holidays was a book I got called A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen. I talked about the book a few weeks ago as a great concept – and have nothing but rave reviews after reading the book – and so far – failing to make it even a day without complaining! He says in the book that he can’t help but smile when people contact him asking him for the purple bracelets saying – I’ve got to get these for everyone in my life because everyone around me complains! Truth is, you wouldn’t be surrounded by complainers if you weren’t contributing! The awareness has been huge though, and I notice that sometimes it is a conscious choice to complain – to be a part of the conversation, to feel included, to have something to say!

SO…Please join me on this challenge – to go 21 days straight (yes if you are on day 20 and you complain, you start over) without complaining, gossiping, or criticizing. Here’s how the challenge works:

  1. Order a purple bracelet from (they’re free) OR, just use a rubber band – that is what I’m doing.
  2. Begin to wear the bracelet on either wrist.
  3. When you catch yourself complaining, gossiping, or criticizing, move the bracelet to the other wrist and begin again.
  4. If you hear someone else who is wearing a purple bracelet complain, it’s okay to point out their need to switch the bracelet to the other arm BUT if you’re going to do this, you MUST move your bracelet first! Because you’re complaining about their complaining. (This is where most of my complaints are coming from! Ha!!)
  5. Stay with it. It may take many months to reach 21 consecutive days. The average is 4 – 8 months.

There is lots of juicy shadow to be found when you take on this challenge – and complaining is an epidemic, especially in the US – you will help contribute to eliminating this disease! (And if you think I’m overstating there, I’m not. If you look at the amount of health problems that are eliminated when complaining is eliminated from people’s lives, it is staggering.)

Okay – tomorrow I will share a creative project for you to take on this week.

Patty’s Challenge: Put a rubber band on one wrist and start to eliminate complaining from your diet. Take on Maya Angelou´s quote below as a mantra:

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”

Love to you,

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