Friday, February 8, 2008

Who You Are Is ENOUGH

Dearest Goddesses,

I went to a Pranic Healing Circle last night which was simply amazing. When I walked in I immediately went to the space of – ugh, these people are weird, I don’t belong, and a huge, long, boring story about not fitting in. The facilitator led us through this meditation and I immediately became present to feelings of worthiness or deserving. I have allowed certain circumstances in my life lately to affect my ability to receive, my physical stature, my feelings of worthiness. I made myself feel so small. The second this meditation started, I felt this weight lift off of me and this feeling of deserving embraced me and I felt I deserved not only to receive the benefits of the healing energy last night, but also to participate in giving the healing energy.

I felt like this fits great in this week’s goddess, Isis, representing Mothering. This idea of deserving – love, abundance, intimacy, health, joy, happiness, family – at its core has to do with nurturing, allowing ourselves to be nurtured, acting in a self-nurturing way. As babies we are completely self-expressed. When something wasn’t right, we cried and our needs were met. As we get older, things happen, we make up meaning – usually related to not being good enough – and suddenly it’s not as easy to verbalize our needs or perhaps our caregiver isn’t available in a moment and so we begin questioning our own worthiness in receiving the nurturing we crave.

I was reading through an old notebook and came across this quote – I did not write down the author of the quote or the book that I must have been reading at the time – but I don’t think I can take credit for it…

The question is not why you are so infrequently the people you really want to be. The question is why you so infrequently want to be the people you really are. Because you have no faith that who you are is enough.

I became clear last night, that although it was wonderful to give and receive the healing energies and be around a wonderfully generous community, the power that I felt was already within me – I just needed to access it. And it wasn’t anyone else’s responsibility to generate that for me – it was MINE. What was lacking inside of me – this idea of worthiness or deserving was because of MY beliefs, thoughts, etc. We have a choice every day of how we are going to deal with our circumstances – I am grateful for the reminder (for I this is information I already knew) last night that I do deserve all that wonderful bounty the universe has to offer. AND – also something I already knew - those limiting beliefs about not deserving were more than likely what was creating the circumstances in the first place! Ah, the vicious cycle!

Creative Project:

There are so many aspects of mothering that can be explored creatively depending on your needs. For some reason, I am equating mothering or nurturing like a big bear hug – we all need those hugs every once in awhile. The key is being able to ask for those hugs when you need them. SO – I’m going to combine a challenge and a creative project.

Find someone that you feel safe with and ask them for a big healing bear hug. Be present in the hug – allow yourself to receive the healing energies of the hugger. When the hug is complete – make sure you thank the hugger – and take a notebook to write down a list of 20 words or phrases – descriptions, feelings, thoughts – about what was present for you in the hug. Then take those 20 words or phrases and organize them into a poem.

Extra Credit Challenge: Make a request. Really stretch yourself in your feelings of worthiness or deserving and make a request that might be uncomfortable to make. Here is my request:

I would like to request that you all respond to one of my goddess posts at least once a month ( If something strikes you, or you have a comment, or you don’t understand something, or even if you disagree – let me know at least once a month.

Thank you in advance for considering my request.


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